He's the STEP dad so maybe he wants to **** her. But whatever she's under 16 and certainly under 18 so as an outsider you don't have a leg to stand on. Her Mum might be "happy" for you to take her out, but when push comes to shove she will side with her partner/husband. So unless your GF wants to fall out with her mum (which is unlikely) you are stuffed.
I believe this is no win situation. I think you should tell the GF that you can't continue under the circumstances. Its up to her if she want to go behind her mum and step father. The snag is when it all goes sour (as it will with someone so young) do you want the nasty hints innuendo and suggestions that might come out. Especially as he's a policeman, pillar of society, etc. The fact he's a closet to$$er will get ignored.
Personally I think the downsides are too much. The best (and wisest) man is the one knows when to walk away. Make sure the (ex) GF has you phone number and if she's still around in a year or two...
On the plus side you'll have more time to take the advanced driver's course.
Thank you for the help
Im still undecided on my decision, weather or not to finish it... Maybe I should learn when to walk away
She seems that nice that even if I did finish it on a mutual grounding she would still be a very good friend to me. No doubt stay in contact and meet up out of a relationship. Heck... If im the only one that can see a vicious cycle then god help me.
It depends what his real objection to you is. Is it really your driving or something else?
If I read this correctly you say he has been known for domestic abuse. Is this against his wife, your girlfriend's mother? The next question is: Is he a Police officer or support staff?
If he is a Cop, then his superiors should be concerned about this, if they know about it. In which case HE should be concerned about you if he tries to get heavy in any way.
If he is a member of support staff and is now in Comms, then he won't have any operational Police driving experience so his only claim to superiority over you will be his training.
In any case, I know a hell of a lot of Police officers who are really not that good at driving. They've done the course and promptly forgotten or ignored almost everything they've been taught.
Could it be that, in the end analysis, he just doesn't like young blokes and/or is trying to impress someone, maybe the mother. If he likes knocking women around then it's quite possible he has control issues, although if that is the case then it's debatable as to whether he should be in that job. Then again, if he sees himself as the Alpha male in the house he may see you as an interloper. A usurper if you like and is defending his turf.
He may also be frustrated at being placed in Comms as that can be seen as a demeaning punishment and wants to take out his frustration on someone - you.
What do you do? Well, talk to the GF for a start. Go for a drink and tell her, if you haven't already, how you feel about her and how he's making you feel. You could always try and spend more time away from the house and more time with her. If he sees himself as the Alpha male you could always ask him for his advice, preferably in connection with driving which he obviously sees he is superior at. You don't even have to have a valid query, just make something up. You could try telling him that you were talking to someone, me if you like, who was telling you about forward planning and observation when used in conjunction with a running commentary and ask him what the hell I was prattling on about. Then ask him to give you a demonstration. That may allow him to feel all superior, especially when you use all manner of approving comments like: "Oh I get it." "That's great." "How the hell did you manage to see all that." "I hope I'll be able to drive as well as that some day."
Don't forget, everybody likes to be asked their opinion.
If you do, try and avoid all trace of irony and sarcasm.
Keep us updated. If this works, click the thanks button, if it fails then I've never heard of you.
Good luck.
The girlfriend insists that he thinks of me highly. First impressions were good I think, not many people that meet me hate me unfortunately, I guess he is just stereotyping me as 'one of those kids'
The domestic abuse is towards my girlfriends mother, there was an incident two days after going out with my girlfriend when her step dad attacked her and almost punched her. Until realising that what he did was wrong.
In other words, I do believe that I have the power and evidence to get him sacked from his job.(thoughts on this?)
I said that I highly doubt he has any experience when it comes to having driving qualifications. He does drive a crappy Polo mk4 diesel. (taking note of the rusty arches, his lack of skill to change over some disc brakes and the massive paint peeling on his drivers door that he touched up with hammerite)
with the above comment, It has nothing to do with his driving experience or qualifications but I just chucked it in there.
I hear what you are saying about him ruling the roost and having to be in control, I have no doubt that he finds me threatening. I know he does, ever since that handshake. If I shook his hand like a wimp he wouldn't have even blinked an eyelid.
I think I need a very strong drink. All this is getting to me quite a bit and it's not good. Im even beginning to wonder if it's all worth the hassle. Why do I make a meal of everything. Mountain out of a molehill.
I am sure that the best cause of action is to thoroughly talk this through with the girlfriend and if that goes to plan, Im sure after taking everything everyone has said in this thread into consideration, me and her will come up with a suitable plan of action.
I would like to thank you all for the help, it is highly appreciated.
Beard, I don't know how you say things so perfectly... Some talent. :worship:
I will keep the thread updated when I have a long chat with her tomorrow.
