MY OH is being done for Sexual Harrassment!

[Fidgit]

My partner has been accused of Sexual Harrasment at work.
The other week he went in to the office and said hello to a girl who works in there. He works as a pest controller and only goes in once a week. He went up behind her and put a hand on her back. They have known eachother for years.
Apparently she turned round and growled at him saying 'don't ever touch me like that again'

She is married but had an affiar with another guy who works with them. Someone had been winding her up about it that morning so my conclusion is that she didn't want people to think she was having another affair. There was nobody else around though.
She went back to her desk and spent an hour talking it over with her colleague and then decided to report my partner.

She had already handed in her resignaion at the time and left the next day although he has heard that she has been offered her job back and can come back in january.

My partner has been treated like crap and he said when he was interviewed intially he 'felt like a rapist'.
This has been going on for weeks now with HR hardly telling him anything and only been told he needs to be interviewed again at the last minute. He has put in a grievance with his company wihich they say they cannot deal with until after xmas as the appropriate people aren't here.
He has to attend a disciplinary hearing on Tuesday and may find out wether they are going to sack him or not.
We cannot believe that they would as nobody else has ever accused him of this. All the other admin girls have been interviewed and have said he has never made them feel uncomfortable. One of his friends has done a witness statement to say she saw the whole thing and he did not touch her bum (which is what she is accusing him of). So they have no proof that he did it and it's almost her word against his.
He has worked there for 8 years.
So now while we sit here fretting about whether we are going to have a good christmas or not, she is chilling at home enjoying her break knowing she has a job to come back to and the big cheeses are swanning about sleeping through the night and doing things in their own sweet time.

Grrrrrr......

 

[Si]

Well lets say worst case he is sacked, go to ACAS, claim unfair dismissal, the ownus is on the employer to prove it was fair.

I assume he's doing the usual though in his interviews; independent or unbiased witness, making notes, avoiding answering tricky questions?

Still sucks big time when someone screams SH. I regularly flirt with females in the office but there is always that nagging doubt am I pushing it too far? However I consider it to be normal office culture and certaintly never had any complaints, maybe because once in a while they see my serious/ professional side thus don't see me as a threat.

 

[ChrisUK]

Yes the law does seem to be biased towards the woman. It seems all they have to do is shout 'rape' and they get whatever it is they want .

Hope you get it sorted out . I don't really know what to suggest except go to the citizens advice bureau and find out how the law stands and if you can afford it get a good solicitor it can GREATLY influence any desisions made at the hearing. I got put up on charges of gross neglagence (wasn't my fault) and was facing dismissal but I went in there with the facts and a solicitors letter stating the rights I had etc. I ended up getting it changed from a dismissal to a volutary redundancy with a years salary plus benefits if I left my job right there.

 

[Si]

It seems all they have to do is shout 'rape' and they get whatever it is they want .

Exactly and problem is it deters geninue cases.

 

[centaur]

From what you have said his company is breaking the law in their grievance procedures and general conduct (I know a bit regarding this).

If he is in a union then get them invovled asap, if not get a solicitor first thing tomorrow. Failing that go to citizens advice. He needs proper representation, and tell him to tell his employer (in writing) that he will not be attending on Tuesday as he wants to sort out proper legal representation, and when HE is ready then HE will decide on the date and time of the next meeting along with his representative. His company is bound by law to obey the instructions in his letter.

All this sounds very scary, but company use very heavy handed tactics to intimidate their employees in such cases. the trick is not to give in to your fear, and to take the upper hand with them.

I can't stress that you must get one of the above mentioned involved for legal repsentation. The reason is if he IS dismissed on these grounds, the girl can then try and issue a criminal case against him off the back of the dismissal. Might not go anywhere, but in the mean time it will ruin his chances of finding any work for ages.

Get the union/solicitor involved now without delay.

 

[Koa]

It sounds like he was in the right place for his job, maybe he should have given her a dose of pesticide before he spoke to her.

Tricky situation to be in and I don't envy you as it must be quite embarrassing too, but usually the truth comes out and if this silly woman has no real proof and your OH has a witness then he should be fine.
Just forget about and have a good christmas, worry about it afterwards as I am sure he'll be ok.

 

[Fidgit]

Thanks guys. I was wondering wether anyone was going to be able to follow my ramble. It's just really worrying now as it is going to a disciplainary hearing. His MD reckons he will just get a written warning. I am so close to finding and nutting the bitch right now. Was there really any need to take it so far for a one off? a quiet word in his ear would of been enough.
He is just being as honest as he can and making sure he repeats the same sequence of events all the time. Apprently, her sideof things keeps changing....
If he does lose his job we will definately be taking them to court for unfair dismissal. How can it be fair when it is one person making one complaint with no evidence?
Just so worrying though as it affects everything wether he has a job or not. Not just how much money we have but how we live.
If this all settles and he is ok after Tuesday I am tempted to contact her and tell her how hard this has been not just for him but for the whole family. She might think twice next time she wants to open her gob and try to settle some stupid score.

don;t get me wrong, i am symapthetic to anyone who has been the victim of sexual harrassment or abuse, but it is pretty plain she is just a bitch with a grudge.

 

[centaur]

Koarang, mate I know your intentions are for the best and honourable, but I wouldn't be inclined to say forget about it until after xmas.

This guy should not be in any disciplinary at all, and should be seeking some form of legal representation now (ie 9am tomorrow).

Even if all he gets is a verbal or written warning then that can be used against him as it has to stay on his file for a specific period of time. Ie can be used to hold back pay rises, promotions etc.

Please, please, please, Fidgit, do not contact her as she can twist this into harrassment as well and dig a deeper hole for him, and please get some legal help tomorrow. Before you or he does anything else, you must do this.

Please heed my advice

 

[Venters]

I'm not an expert on this stuff but centaur obviously is, couldn't he claim he is being victimised or something sort of like a counter claim? Once he is in the clear.
If he could that might make her think twice about doing it again.

 

[centaur]

I'm not an expert on this stuff but centaur obviously is, couldn't he claim he is being victimised or something sort of like a counter claim? Once he is in the clear.
If he could that might make her think twice about doing it again.

No am no expert, but have had quite a bit of experience in this area for some years.

 

[Frannybum]

I completely sympathise with the position you are in, and I truely hope everything gets sorted and justice is done. I agree with almost everything that has been said and believe that your best chances would be getting professional aid, if anything, they would look at it and wonder why an innocent man has gone to the trouble of getting a lawyer.

Yes the law does seem to be biased towards the woman. It seems all they have to do is shout 'rape' and they get whatever it is they want .

Thats a kind of closed minded statement to make....

If a woman (or man) claims SH or rape it HAS to be investigated, the accuser doesn't get everything they want, if this was the case then there would be a lot more prosecutions and the government wouldn't be in the midst of changing the law when it comes to women or men who say they have been raped to better the chances of them being believed and it not just being thrown out of court! Rape is a very serious allegation, IMO worse than murder, and to say what you have said is very ignorant.

I think what you are trying to say, is that if a woman accuses somebody, it is taken a lot more seriously than if a man accuses someone. Your wording was just very close to the bone.

 

[ChrisUK]

I completely sympathise with the position you are in, and I truely hope everything gets sorted and justice is done. I agree with almost everything that has been said and believe that your best chances would be getting professional aid, if anything, they would look at it and wonder why an innocent man has gone to the trouble of getting a lawyer.



Thats a kind of closed minded statement to make....

If a woman (or man) claims SH or rape it HAS to be investigated, the accuser doesn't get everything they want, if this was the case then there would be a lot more prosecutions and the government wouldn't be in the midst of changing the law when it comes to women or men who say they have been raped to better the chances of them being believed and it not just being thrown out of court! Rape is a very serious allegation, IMO worse than murder, and to say what you have said is very ignorant.

I think what you are trying to say, is that if a woman accuses somebody, it is taken a lot more seriously than if a man accuses someone. Your wording was just very close to the bone.

I appologise yes my wording could be better all I was getting at is the system is abused quite alot making it difficult to help the real victims .

 

[Fidgit]

Thanks again folks.
I was only theoretically speaking re contacting her. It jsut pees me off that she can say something like this to blatantly twist things to her advantage and we have to suffer.
He has been interviewed several times now, as has she and the person that gave him a witness statement. Apparently things have not been dealt with properly by the person in his HR department who was dealing with it and it has now been passed to her senior who is dealing with it now. His grievance was about the fact that he had not been assigned anyone bto support him through this as he should of been. The reply letter states that the people the head of HR (who is dealing iwth his harrassmnt allegation also) needs to interview are currently off for christmas and will not be back until 4th January so he will look into it then.
I have just signed him up to a trade union and he is going to phone their legal dept tomorrow. Not sure if he will be able to get anyone to represent him as my union (Unison) ask you to contribute for 3 months before they can help. Perhaps he can get some straight talking general legal advice though.

I totally agree wih everyone who says he is being treated unfairly and I have been nagging him to go to the CAB or join a union since this started, but he hasn't. I think he's so confident that he is not going to lose his job as they have no 'proof' that he hasn't bothered. I really hope Amicus can help him tomorrow. If it were me, it would of been the first thing I did.

He should not be going through a disciplinary as they haven't decided yet wether he is guilty or not. But to be honest, we don;t really know what is going on from one day to the next. Wek before last he was told that they would need to speak to him again but when he asked when they said they didn't know and would have to speak to this girl and his 'witness' first.
As far as I am aware the only thing he has had in writing is the letter re his grievance and the letter informing about his 'disciplinary'. It states in bold at the bottom of the letter that 'the outcome of this meeting may result in dissmissal'
The company he works for was a tiny little backstreet comapny but it has recently been bought out by a huge cleaning firm (ISS). you'd think that they would know how to do things properly. :bang:

 

[Koa]

Koarang, mate I know your intentions are for the best and honourable, but I wouldn't be inclined to say forget about it until after xmas.

I was referring to the worry more than anything else mate not necessarily the legal side of things, I should have made that clear though

I have a tendancy to be able to blank things out and get on with stuff until it comes to the nitty gritty, that way I don't have to worry myself sick about what could or could not happen, which inevitably would ruin the best part of the year at xmas time.

Yes do as Centaur suggests and seek legal advice now, but still don't worry about it and have a good christams

 

[StiloSport]

OMG! That's not a nice start to xmas! As been stated earlier, make sure your partner gets a good legal representative and do not allow him to enter any meetings without the rep or a witness. It's also a good idea when in meetings with HR to take any notes (minutes) or record it on a dictafone(sp?) but make sure that who ever is in the meeting knows its being recorded so that if HR decide to go in the favour of this woman and change their story, you have got evidence of what's been said. If you don't let them know the meeting is being recorded, they could persue legal action on the grounds of entrapment.

Really hope things work out ok for you both and don't take things lying down!

 

[jug]

go round her house, kick her in the balls, problem solved.

 

[centaur]

go round her house, kick her in the balls, problem solved.

I don't think you have been around women that much, have you

Unless you like the sort of "women" who are ummm.....how shall I put it?..... "AC/DC"......

 

[Trancendental]

How can you get Sexual Harassment for touching a girls back and saying hello?

Where I work we pick the girls up and put them in dustbins and sometimes even attempt to play catch with the smaller ones

I've never complained about sexual harassment from a girl, they are always touching my hair and saying naughty things about me to eachother when I'm not there but mostly while I am present

I don't know if procedures for disiplinary is the same accross the board but I think he needs to simply read the employee hand book on what counts as sexual harassment and then compare that to what he done which is most likely not SH and then just point it out and make it clear that was not his intent and offer to write a letter of appology or to appologise in person and give the silly girl an explanation.

 

[centaur]

Why apologise for something you have not done? That is alsmost the same as admitting liability.

I personally would not let this go and make sure the employer knows you are not a fool who is going to buckle at the first sign on intimidation.

 

[Fidgit]

He spoke to someone again today at work and they said it is most likely he will get a written warning. They said it is not in the company's best interests to not do anything as there may be comebck from the accuser, but if they sack him, they will get a **** hot pile of stinking court action comeback from us!
He's asleep right now and I don't want to wake him. Neither of us hardly got any lastnight. Fingers crossed for 9am tomorrow morning........

Good vibes people please!!