Jokes...

[TashyG]

Just don't do anything thats even vaguely maths/engineering/science related. Then you'll be fine

sorted

A woman goes to see her local vicar. She says "My husband keeps falling asleep in your sermons."
The vicar replies "Poke him with this hat pin every time he falls asleep. I'll nod to you if I see him asleep."
Next day, the couple are in church, and sure enough the man falls asleep. The vicar nods to the woman as he delivers his sermon... "and who was the creator of the world?"...
The woman pokes the man, who wakes up with a shout of "God almighty!".
"Well done, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
A while later he falls asleep again, and the vicar nods while saying...
"And who is our saviour?"...
The woman pokes her husband again.
"Jesus christ!", says the man as wakes up.
"Well done again, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
The man soon falls asleep again and the vicar carries on talking... "And what did Eve say to Adam after they had had their 99th kid?"...
At that point the man wakes up and shouts "If you poke that f***ing thing in me one more time I'll break it in half and shove it up your arse!"

ROFFPMSL!!!!!!

 

[The Negotiator]

I think she likes that one JB.

I chose the wrong course to enjoy uni.

 

[joecinq]

Just don't do anything thats even vaguely maths/engineering/science related. Then you'll be fine


A woman goes to see her local vicar. She says "My husband keeps falling asleep in your sermons."
The vicar replies "Poke him with this hat pin every time he falls asleep. I'll nod to you if I see him asleep."
Next day, the couple are in church, and sure enough the man falls asleep. The vicar nods to the woman as he delivers his sermon... "and who was the creator of the world?"...
The woman pokes the man, who wakes up with a shout of "God almighty!".
"Well done, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
A while later he falls asleep again, and the vicar nods while saying...
"And who is our saviour?"...
The woman pokes her husband again.
"Jesus christ!", says the man as wakes up.
"Well done again, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
The man soon falls asleep again and the vicar carries on talking... "And what did Eve say to Adam after they had had their 99th kid?"...
At that point the man wakes up and shouts "If you poke that f***ing thing in me one more time I'll break it in half and shove it up your arse!"

Great joke JB

 

[Luke]

I think she likes that one JB.

I chose the wrong course to enjoy uni.

I chose the wrong uni to enjoy the course

 

[JonnyBoy]

I chose the wrong course to enjoy uni.

Yeah, me too, but if I did what a lot of people on my course do (i.e. work all the time and never go out) then I'd drive myself bonkers. I'd probably not be doing as miserably as I am (low 2:2 at the mo, that'll be going down after these exams ) but I haven't got the motivation for all that work.
I've been revising for 2 weeks solid now and had just one night out if it was like this all the time I'd end up driving off a bridge!

 

[TashyG]

Yeah, me too, but if I did what a lot of people on my course do (i.e. work all the time and never go out) then I'd drive myself bonkers. I'd probably not be doing as miserably as I am (low 2:2 at the mo, that'll be going down after these exams ) but I haven't got the motivation for all that work.
I've been revising for 2 weeks solid now and had just one night out if it was like this all the time I'd end up driving off a bridge!

dont do that...who would supply the jokes if you did that...oh yeah and its not worth it blah blah blah...

 

[The Negotiator]

Yep, agreed, don't do that

If I don't do well with these exams i will decide that the course isn't for me and probably reconsider, I know life hates a quiter but it loves a trier!

 

[JonnyBoy]

Umm, Tashy, Paul, I was kidding... you think I'd drive one of my precious cars off a bridge?!?!

 

[TashyG]

Umm, Tashy, Paul, I was kidding... you think I'd drive one of my precious cars off a bridge?!?!

i was going to go with that angle about hurting the car...but i thought that would bu a bit insensitive (says me miss sensitivity!!)

 

[The Negotiator]

Sorry, I wasn't clear, I WAS refering to your cars.

 

[Dr_Pepper]

It is annoying the obvious difference between science courses and humanities. Without intending to put these subjects down too much, a mate of mine is also at Loughborough doing English and Psycology (or whatever ho do you spell that?). She has half as many lectures as me and I've seen her exams which are along the lines of "Waffle about whatever for an hour" - no technical questions on anything I swear I could pass them myself. Oops I'm ranting again but in terms of my exams they're a lot harder than I expected (and a lot harder than the first year).

Not saying you shouldn't do them subjects of course - in fact it seems to be the smart thing to do!

 

[Dr_Pepper]

I couldn't drive the punto off a bridge - me dad would kill me. Wait.....!

 

[Luke]

It is annoying the obvious difference between science courses and humanities. Without intending to put these subjects down too much, a mate of mine is also at Loughborough doing English and Psycology (or whatever ho do you spell that?). She has half as many lectures as me and I've seen her exams which are along the lines of "Waffle about whatever for an hour" - no technical questions on anything I swear I could pass them myself. Oops I'm ranting again but in terms of my exams they're a lot harder than I expected (and a lot harder than the first year).

Not saying you shouldn't do them subjects of course - in fact it seems to be the smart thing to do!

Im totally the opposite, i couldnt do waffle exams. I live short, sharp to the point answers that come with doing a science orientated subject The questions are harder i suppose, but theres a definate answer rather than waffling about theories/case studies etc...

What you studying?

 

[JonnyBoy]

Sorry, I wasn't clear, I WAS refering to your cars.

so what you mean is, if I'm gonna cark it you'd like a cheap rate on the Punto lol

I couldn't drive the punto off a bridge - me dad would kill me. Wait.....!

Dr P, something along similar lines: I bet you I can quit gambling

 

[The Negotiator]

£300 do?

Trust me, in a hard degree like this you would love a waffle question like from A level sciences where youc ould pick up marks for barely having a clue what you mean!

 

[Dr_Pepper]

I'm doing Computer Science but to be honest right now it's just maths maths maths - which really gets on my tits because I did computing because I enjoyed it, I got a D at A level maths whereas I'm good at waffle it's just boring (A's in Geography and General Studies) What about you guys.

Nice one with the betting thing!!

 

[JonnyBoy]

£300 do?

£300?!?! Hmm... not only would I have to be dead first, but then I'd have to somehow return from the grave, return it to standard, flog all the mods and then you can have it for £300 complete with its knackered head gasket

 

[The Negotiator]

I was good at both but not amazing at either (get demoralised if i get even one part of a question that I can't answer )

Just everything here you seem to be able to do or not but then they stick in tricks whic ****s it all up!

 

[Luke]

I'm doing Computer Science but to be honest right now it's just maths maths maths - which really gets on my tits because I did computing because I enjoyed it, I got a D at A level maths whereas I'm good at waffle it's just boring (A's in Geography and General Studies) What about you guys.

Nice one with the betting thing!!

Im doing computing. Did it for an A level too, few marks off an A :bang: I also did ICT in a year and was a few marks off a B, after giving up on maths at AS scraping a D. Also did oracle if anyone knows of it?? Gen studies was soo crap, got a C but that was sheer luck

But cos i did the combination of AS maths, Oracle, Computing and ICT for my A-Levels + my natural interest in computing, my computing degree in the 1st year is easy to say the least. I get so bored sometimes i do often start to nod off in lectures.

Suppose thats what i get for taking the wrong subjects to get into a decent Uni where i would be a bit more challenged

 

[JonnyBoy]

Computer Science... hmm, what do you know about microcontrollers, Booth's Algorithm, microcoding, DMA memory cycles... ? 'Cos I know a grand total of sweet F.A. about them all and I've got an exam on them tomorrow