I say bring back the nice clean jokes with twists in them.....
Actually scrap that, pull them outta the gutter
Actually scrap that, pull them outta the gutter
Jokes...
- Thread starter The Negotiator
- Start date
Currently reading:
Jokes...
joecinq said:I say bring back the nice clean jokes with twists in them.....
Actually scrap that, pull them outta the gutter
Umm, I've run out of good ones
sorry!
Jonny said:
You have just ruined my week! Did you have to mention exams I'd blanked them out!!! Anybody else at uni doing 1st semester exams?
Last edited:
I'll see if i can find some
btw, i finished my last exam today
btw, i finished my last exam today
Sorry Dr P, if its any consolation I had one on Fri that was bad, one today which sucked ass, I've got one tomorrow that's going to hurt more than being skinned alive, and one a week on Friday that'll be mildly unpleasant.
OP
OP
Moi
Dr_Pepper said:Jonny said:EXAM
I've done mine
Had mine the 1st week back after the break
+ 3 courseworks.
That totally killed my xmas break
OP
OP
Honestly, I hate it
OP
OP
I know, vis a vis you said so
:stupid: I ain't going neitherTashyG said:
Any one seen this before?
ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
AMC -All Makes Combined
AMC -A Major Cost
AMC -A Mutated Car
AMC -A Morons Car
AMC -Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented
AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention
AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW -Beastly Monstrous Wonder
BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW -Barely Moving Wreck
BMW -Big Money Waste
BMW -Big Money. Why?
BMW -Big Money Works
BMW -Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW -Breaks Most Wrenches
BMW -Bring Many Wrenches
BMW -Brings Me Women
BMW -Brings More Women
BMW -Broken Money Waster
BMW -Broke My Wallet
BMW -Broken Monstrous Wonder
BMW -Brutal Money Waster
BMW -Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BMW -Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC -Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CADILLAC -Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed
CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle, Or Loud Engine Ticks
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVROLET -Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET -Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
CHEVROLET -Cheap Heaps Erratically Vibrate Running On Level Even Terrain
CHEVROLET -Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering
Techniques
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY -Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
CHEVY -Can Hear Every Valve Yell
DODGE -Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
DODGE -Dead Old Dog Going East
DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
DODGE -Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
DODGE -Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
DODGE -Driven Only During Grey Evenings
EDSEL -Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT -Failed In A Tunnel
FIAT -Fails In Attempted Turns
FIAT -Failure In Automotive Technology
FIAT -Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FIAT -Fits In A Thimble
FIAT -Fix It Again Tony
FIAT -Flats In All Tires
FIAT -Found In A Trench
FORD -Fabricated Of Refried Dung
FORD -Fails On Rainy Days
FORD -Famous Odor Resistant Dog
FORD -Falling Off: Rusty Door
FORD -Fast Only Rolling Downhill
FORD -Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
FORD -Fastest On Road, Dip!
FORD -Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
FORD -Fault Of R&D
FORD -Final Organ of Reproductive Discipline
FORD -Finally Obsolete Racing Device
FORD -Fireball On Rear Denting
FORD -First On Recall Day
FORD -First On Race Day
FORD -First On Road to Dump
FORD -First On Rust and Deterioration
FORD -First Order of Reproductive Discipline
FORD -Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
FORD -Fixed Or Repaired Daily
FORD -Flip Over Read Directions
FORD -Flipping Over Results in Death
FORD -Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
FORD -Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
FORD -Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled
FORD -Fond Of Resonating Decibels
FORD -Foot On Road Decelerates
FORD -Fords Only Run Downhill
FORD -Forced On Reluctant Drivers
FORD -Formed Of Rejected DNA
FORD -Forwarded Once; Return Denied
FORD -Forward Only; Reverse Defective
FORD -Forgot Our Recommended Defaults
FORD -Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
FORD -For Old, Rotten Deadbeat
FORD -Fork Over Repair Dough
FORD -Found On Red Dumpster
FORD -Found On Redneck's Driveway
FORD -Found On Roadside Dead
FORD -Found On Rubbish Dump
FORD -Found Outside Refuse Dump
FORD -Found Outside Rotting Dump
FORD -Found On Russian Dump
FORD -Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
FORD -Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos
FORD -Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
FORD -Frequently On Ritalin, Designers
FORD -Free Or Reduced Drastically
FORD -Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
FORD -Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
FORD -Funny Old Rattling Dump
FORD -Funky Old Rebuilt Dodge
FORD -(spelled backwards)Driver Returns On Foot
GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked
G. M. -General Maintenance
G. M. -Goshdarn Mess
G. M. -Generally Misunderstood
G. M. -Garbage Motors
G. M. -Generally Miserable
G. M. -Grossley Misconceived
G. M. -Gluteus Maximus
GMC -Garage Man's Companion
GMC -Generally Mediocre Cars
GMC -Generic Made Chevy
GMC -German Milk Cow
GMC -Get More Chicks
GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy
GMC -Gods Mechanical Curse
GMC -Gotta Mechanic coming
GMC -Got More Crap
GMC -Great Mountain Climber
GMC -Great Motor Car
HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again
HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
HONDA -Has Often Nice Dealer Accessories
HONDA -History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
HYUNDAI -Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
IROC -I Race Other Cars
IROC -I Run Over Critters
IROC -I Run Off Cliffs
IROC -I Reek Of Cologne
IROC -Italian Resting On Console
IROC -Ignorant Retard Out Cruising
JEEP -Just Eats Every Part
JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
KIA -Killed In Action
KIA -Kills In Accidents
LTD -Long Term Debt
LTD -Lousy Transportation, Dammit!
LTD -Little Tin Dream
LTD -Last Try from Detroit
LTD -Long, Thin Dumpster
LTD -Long Time Driving
MAZDA -Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
M.G. -Money Guzzler
MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
MOPAR -Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
MOPAR -Most Often Passed At Races
MOPAR -Mostly Old Parts And Rust
MOPAR -Mostly Old Paint And Rust
MOPAR -Move Over People Are Racing
MOPAR -Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
MOPAR -My Old Pig Ain't Running
MOPAR -My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go
NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing
NISSAN -Needless Innovations, Silly, Stupid, Automotive Nonsense
OLDS MOBILE -Oh, Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything.
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
OLDSMOBILE -Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel.
OLDSMOBILE -Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate
PINTO -Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH -Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood!
PLYMOUTH -Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC -People On Narcotics Think It's A Chevy
PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PONTIAC -Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities
PORSCHE -Piece Of Rubbish, Saps Continually High Expense
PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
PROBE -Plainly Runs Only By Exception
SAAB -Send Another Automobile Back
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Are Beastly
SAAB -Sad Attempt At Beauty
SAAB -Sorry Auto, Always Broken
SAAB -Swedish Automobile-Always Broken
SATURN -Sounds Absolutely Terrible, Unbelievable Rattling Noises
SUBARU -Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
SUBARU -Sorry Unreal Bonsai Attempt at a Russian U-boat
TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
TOYOTA -Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
TRIUMPH -This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
TRIUMPH -Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
TRIUMPH -The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW -Virtually Worthless
VOLKSWAGEN -Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense
Some of them are really funny, and some are scarily accurate
EDIT- if i was less lazy, i would take out all the yank cars
ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
AMC -All Makes Combined
AMC -A Major Cost
AMC -A Mutated Car
AMC -A Morons Car
AMC -Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented
AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention
AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW -Beastly Monstrous Wonder
BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW -Barely Moving Wreck
BMW -Big Money Waste
BMW -Big Money. Why?
BMW -Big Money Works
BMW -Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW -Breaks Most Wrenches
BMW -Bring Many Wrenches
BMW -Brings Me Women
BMW -Brings More Women
BMW -Broken Money Waster
BMW -Broke My Wallet
BMW -Broken Monstrous Wonder
BMW -Brutal Money Waster
BMW -Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BMW -Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC -Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CADILLAC -Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed
CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle, Or Loud Engine Ticks
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVROLET -Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET -Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
CHEVROLET -Cheap Heaps Erratically Vibrate Running On Level Even Terrain
CHEVROLET -Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering
Techniques
CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY -Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
CHEVY -Can Hear Every Valve Yell
DODGE -Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
DODGE -Dead Old Dog Going East
DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
DODGE -Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
DODGE -Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
DODGE -Driven Only During Grey Evenings
EDSEL -Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT -Failed In A Tunnel
FIAT -Fails In Attempted Turns
FIAT -Failure In Automotive Technology
FIAT -Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FIAT -Fits In A Thimble
FIAT -Fix It Again Tony
FIAT -Flats In All Tires
FIAT -Found In A Trench
FORD -Fabricated Of Refried Dung
FORD -Fails On Rainy Days
FORD -Famous Odor Resistant Dog
FORD -Falling Off: Rusty Door
FORD -Fast Only Rolling Downhill
FORD -Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
FORD -Fastest On Road, Dip!
FORD -Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
FORD -Fault Of R&D
FORD -Final Organ of Reproductive Discipline
FORD -Finally Obsolete Racing Device
FORD -Fireball On Rear Denting
FORD -First On Recall Day
FORD -First On Race Day
FORD -First On Road to Dump
FORD -First On Rust and Deterioration
FORD -First Order of Reproductive Discipline
FORD -Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
FORD -Fixed Or Repaired Daily
FORD -Flip Over Read Directions
FORD -Flipping Over Results in Death
FORD -Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
FORD -Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
FORD -Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled
FORD -Fond Of Resonating Decibels
FORD -Foot On Road Decelerates
FORD -Fords Only Run Downhill
FORD -Forced On Reluctant Drivers
FORD -Formed Of Rejected DNA
FORD -Forwarded Once; Return Denied
FORD -Forward Only; Reverse Defective
FORD -Forgot Our Recommended Defaults
FORD -Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
FORD -For Old, Rotten Deadbeat
FORD -Fork Over Repair Dough
FORD -Found On Red Dumpster
FORD -Found On Redneck's Driveway
FORD -Found On Roadside Dead
FORD -Found On Rubbish Dump
FORD -Found Outside Refuse Dump
FORD -Found Outside Rotting Dump
FORD -Found On Russian Dump
FORD -Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
FORD -Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos
FORD -Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
FORD -Frequently On Ritalin, Designers
FORD -Free Or Reduced Drastically
FORD -Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
FORD -Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
FORD -Funny Old Rattling Dump
FORD -Funky Old Rebuilt Dodge
FORD -(spelled backwards)Driver Returns On Foot
GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked
G. M. -General Maintenance
G. M. -Goshdarn Mess
G. M. -Generally Misunderstood
G. M. -Garbage Motors
G. M. -Generally Miserable
G. M. -Grossley Misconceived
G. M. -Gluteus Maximus
GMC -Garage Man's Companion
GMC -Generally Mediocre Cars
GMC -Generic Made Chevy
GMC -German Milk Cow
GMC -Get More Chicks
GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy
GMC -Gods Mechanical Curse
GMC -Gotta Mechanic coming
GMC -Got More Crap
GMC -Great Mountain Climber
GMC -Great Motor Car
HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again
HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
HONDA -Has Often Nice Dealer Accessories
HONDA -History Of No Dramatic Acceleration
HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
HYUNDAI -Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
IROC -I Race Other Cars
IROC -I Run Over Critters
IROC -I Run Off Cliffs
IROC -I Reek Of Cologne
IROC -Italian Resting On Console
IROC -Ignorant Retard Out Cruising
JEEP -Just Eats Every Part
JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
KIA -Killed In Action
KIA -Kills In Accidents
LTD -Long Term Debt
LTD -Lousy Transportation, Dammit!
LTD -Little Tin Dream
LTD -Last Try from Detroit
LTD -Long, Thin Dumpster
LTD -Long Time Driving
MAZDA -Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
M.G. -Money Guzzler
MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete
MOPAR -Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
MOPAR -Most Often Passed At Races
MOPAR -Mostly Old Parts And Rust
MOPAR -Mostly Old Paint And Rust
MOPAR -Move Over People Are Racing
MOPAR -Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
MOPAR -My Old Pig Ain't Running
MOPAR -My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go
NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing
NISSAN -Needless Innovations, Silly, Stupid, Automotive Nonsense
OLDS MOBILE -Oh, Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything.
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
OLDSMOBILE -Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel.
OLDSMOBILE -Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate
PINTO -Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH -Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood!
PLYMOUTH -Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC -People On Narcotics Think It's A Chevy
PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PONTIAC -Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities
PORSCHE -Piece Of Rubbish, Saps Continually High Expense
PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
PROBE -Plainly Runs Only By Exception
SAAB -Send Another Automobile Back
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Are Beastly
SAAB -Sad Attempt At Beauty
SAAB -Sorry Auto, Always Broken
SAAB -Swedish Automobile-Always Broken
SATURN -Sounds Absolutely Terrible, Unbelievable Rattling Noises
SUBARU -Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
SUBARU -Sorry Unreal Bonsai Attempt at a Russian U-boat
TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
TOYOTA -Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
TRIUMPH -This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
TRIUMPH -Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
TRIUMPH -The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW -Virtually Worthless
VOLKSWAGEN -Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense
Some of them are really funny, and some are scarily accurate
EDIT- if i was less lazy, i would take out all the yank cars
The Negotiator said:Honestly, I hate it
I hated it the 1st week, i dont mind it too much now.
Its just so flippin easy. i find it hard to stay awake most of the time
Damn me not deciding i wanted to goto uni till year 13.
TashyG said:
Just don't do anything thats even vaguely maths/engineering/science related. Then you'll be fine
A woman goes to see her local vicar. She says "My husband keeps falling asleep in your sermons."
The vicar replies "Poke him with this hat pin every time he falls asleep. I'll nod to you if I see him asleep."
Next day, the couple are in church, and sure enough the man falls asleep. The vicar nods to the woman as he delivers his sermon... "and who was the creator of the world?"...
The woman pokes the man, who wakes up with a shout of "God almighty!".
"Well done, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
A while later he falls asleep again, and the vicar nods while saying...
"And who is our saviour?"...
The woman pokes her husband again.
"Jesus christ!", says the man as wakes up.
"Well done again, Mr. Jones", says the vicar.
The man soon falls asleep again and the vicar carries on talking... "And what did Eve say to Adam after they had had their 99th kid?"...
At that point the man wakes up and shouts "If you poke that f***ing thing in me one more time I'll break it in half and shove it up your arse!"
Joe: PMSL@ the car names
