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Old 16-03-2008   #1
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Sell some snake oil!

'Inspired by real life' pick a household item of some sort then explain how you would sell it to chavs on ebay as a performance enhancer...
I choose


Electric superturbocharger universal fit, Driven off your home electrical system no turbo lag! No supercharger drive losses, no more worrying about electrical drain, just pure power! Comes in several colours, variable speed with 3 steps blows hot and cold to allow use as a starting aid, comes with a fitting kit of a roll of Duct tape and interchangeable nozzles to fit most applications also twenty miles of electrical extension will be given as a free gift to the first 5 orders!. This is the smaller model with 1400 watts giving a modest 50 bhp gain only £50 that one pound per horse, however true thrill seekers will want the 2000 watt model that not only generates a guaranteed* 150bhp in any application but comes with with a volumising nozzle that increases bhp by a further 20% when fitted.

Fitting instructions
1 Open bonnet
2 remove airfilter
3 Fit correct nozzle for your corsa
4 Place hai...superturbocharger near an air intake
5 Plug the turbosupercharger in at the wall socket
6 Fit a cable drum (not included) between your spoiler stanchions
7 Run extension on cable drum
8 Duct tape cool button down on your turbo supercharger failure to do so may lead to impaired performance.
9 Drive to macdonalds

Don't just believe us or valued customer Gary says it increased my 1.0s bhp by 18 times with the volumiser, I ran an 8 second quarter at santa pod last july.**
*not a guarantee
**Gary also owns a 1200bhp skyline gtr...
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Last edited by StevenRB45; 16-03-2008 at 23:15.
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Old 16-03-2008   #2
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Re: Sell some snake oil!

Quote Originally Posted by StevenRB45 View Post
'Inspired by real life' pick a household item of some sort then explain how you would sell it to chavs on ebay as a performance enhancer...
I choose


Electric superturbocharger universal fit, Driven off your home electrical system no turbo lag! No supercharger drive losses, no more worrying about electrical drain, just pure power! Comes in several colours, variable speed with 3 steps blows hot and cold to allow use as a starting aid, comes with a fitting kit of a roll of Duct tape and interchangeable nozzles to fit most applications also twenty miles of electrical extension will be given as a free gift to the first 5 orders!. This is the smaller model with 1400 watts giving a modest 50 bhp gain only 50 that one pound per horse, however true thrill seekers will want the 2000 watt model that not only generates a guaranteed* 150bhp in any application but comes with with a volumising nozzle that increases bhp by a further 20% when fitted.

Fitting instructions
1 Open bonnet
2 remove airfilter
3 Fit correct nozzle for your corsa
4 Place hai...superturbocharger near an air intake
5 Plug the turbosupercharger in at the wall socket
6 Fit a cable drum (not included) between your spoiler stanchions
7 Run extension on cable drum
8 Duct tape cool button down on your turbo supercharger failure to do so may lead to impaired performance.
9 Drive to macdonalds

Don't just believe us or valued customer Gary says it increased my 1.0s bhp by 18 times with the volumiser, I ran an 8 second quarter at santa pod last july.**
*not a guarantee
**Gary also owns a 1200bhp skyline gtr...
lol i like this idea:

The new JML DIY Facelift:



Take the JML Facelift tool and apply 5 sharp blows to the face and then all sorted. This can be done by anyone no GCSE's required although enhanced results have been achieved when used in conjunction with an ASBO.

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Old 18-03-2008   #3
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Re: Sell some snake oil!

every chav's best friend
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