When she wakes up, and asks where you are, answer that you're not sure, you've been napping too. That keeps 'em awake.
What's made you smile today?
- Thread starter angel
- Start date
Currently reading:
What's made you smile today?
Bit like the old joke about Grandad dying peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers!
My boss, Old Weird Harold, is both time and geographically challenged. Before I learned this, he had me drive to see a customer in Wichita, Kansas. Hell, I’d never been to Wichita, so I asked how long of a drive. He told me it’s 2 hours west of St. Louis, Missouri. Alrighty then. So, I know it’s 5 hours to St. Louis, this is gonna be a piece o’ cake.
This was before smartphones and Google maps. After 8 hours, I’m still not in Kansas. I buy a map at a gas station and find out I have another 4 hours ahead of me. WTF, Harold? I find a hotel and tie up for the night.
I lividly call Harold the next morning and ask, WTF! He sheepishly said that he’d flown to St Louis and rode to Wichita with one of the sales guys, sleeping most of the way.
I finally broke him of the time and distance BS after he sent me to eastern Virginia when I was heading back home from southern Illannoy. Seems a customer got a new saw that wouldn’t start. The guy was pissed and if Harold didn’t have a tech(me)on site in 24 hours, he pull all our equipment from all their jobs. Harold tells me it’s 6 hours away. I told Harold, no, it’s 18 hours away. I will not be there tomorrow. I will not put my safety above your chickensh!t fears. I will be there the next day. The guy was cool that I was at least coming. I get to the site, look the saw over, looks fine. Turn off the kill switch, push in the compression release, set the choke, and pull. The saw started right up. I look at the guy with a ‘So, what’s the problem stare’. The guy looks at his guy and says, “You had the kill switch on this whole time?” He was as pissed as I was. He apologized ten ways from Sunday and bought me breakfast. I called Harold to let him know it was all good and that I’d see him Friday. He said Monday, because he was at a trade fair less than a hour away from where I was and he’d been there all week. Blown gasket doesn’t cover it. I bullied my way into the trade fair and tore Harold a new one on the spot. He threatened to fire me, I threatened to put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he did. His boss got between us, got us in private, and after learning what caused the dust up. Harold got another ass chewing. Things were a bit rough between Harold and I for a few month after that, but things calmed down after we both had to sit through a few anger management classes.
This was before smartphones and Google maps. After 8 hours, I’m still not in Kansas. I buy a map at a gas station and find out I have another 4 hours ahead of me. WTF, Harold? I find a hotel and tie up for the night.
I lividly call Harold the next morning and ask, WTF! He sheepishly said that he’d flown to St Louis and rode to Wichita with one of the sales guys, sleeping most of the way.
I finally broke him of the time and distance BS after he sent me to eastern Virginia when I was heading back home from southern Illannoy. Seems a customer got a new saw that wouldn’t start. The guy was pissed and if Harold didn’t have a tech(me)on site in 24 hours, he pull all our equipment from all their jobs. Harold tells me it’s 6 hours away. I told Harold, no, it’s 18 hours away. I will not be there tomorrow. I will not put my safety above your chickensh!t fears. I will be there the next day. The guy was cool that I was at least coming. I get to the site, look the saw over, looks fine. Turn off the kill switch, push in the compression release, set the choke, and pull. The saw started right up. I look at the guy with a ‘So, what’s the problem stare’. The guy looks at his guy and says, “You had the kill switch on this whole time?” He was as pissed as I was. He apologized ten ways from Sunday and bought me breakfast. I called Harold to let him know it was all good and that I’d see him Friday. He said Monday, because he was at a trade fair less than a hour away from where I was and he’d been there all week. Blown gasket doesn’t cover it. I bullied my way into the trade fair and tore Harold a new one on the spot. He threatened to fire me, I threatened to put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he did. His boss got between us, got us in private, and after learning what caused the dust up. Harold got another ass chewing. Things were a bit rough between Harold and I for a few month after that, but things calmed down after we both had to sit through a few anger management classes.
Years ago as an apprentice I had a boss who used to think it funny to rattle a jack handle whilst the mechanic was working on vehicle, this time the jack dropped to within inches of the mechanics foot (who yes, should have had it on stands) as a 16 year old I just turned to boss and said "that was a f**king stupid thing to do!" , he never did it again and I didn't get sacked.
We got back home from Maine late last night. Traffic was headache free...until we got to the border crossing in Sarnia, Ontario. The signs leading to the Blue River Bridge crossing said 'Wait Times:Trucks-30 minutes. Cars-Minimal'. I don't know about you guys, but 40 minutes is not 'Minimal' to me. Anyway, missed my exit to bypass Detroit and drove through the thick of it. Pissing down rain and stopped traffic. That took about another half hour. West of Ann Arbor, the rain turned to snow. OH MY GOD! The massive stupid of many American drivers moves to the front of the line. It's either slow to a crawl because."It's snowing, I might die." Or, "Yee haa, I got 4 wheel drive and can go balls to the wall." That's usually just before they realize that they have the same 4 wheel brakes they had before it started snowing, as they slide into the ditch AFTER hitting one or two cars in the process. Anyway, it normally takes 4.5 to 5 hours to drive across Michigan. Last night, it took 7.
That out of the way, all in all, it was a pretty good trip. Our SIL is a heck of a cook and made a turkey that I actually liked. I'm not a fan of Ground Buzzards for a holiday meal, I'd rather have a ham with maple glaze. I did go for seconds, though. Our mileage dropped slightly on the way back, due to some heavy head winds through Quebec and Ontario. I did find a route in Quebec that bypassed Montreal. That knocked off almost 30 miles. Just bypassing Montreal made me happy. Overall, I used one less tank of fuel than our old truck would have used.
We stopped at our other kids house and traded our grandson for our dog before getting home. It seemed like a fair trade to all concerned.
That out of the way, all in all, it was a pretty good trip. Our SIL is a heck of a cook and made a turkey that I actually liked. I'm not a fan of Ground Buzzards for a holiday meal, I'd rather have a ham with maple glaze. I did go for seconds, though. Our mileage dropped slightly on the way back, due to some heavy head winds through Quebec and Ontario. I did find a route in Quebec that bypassed Montreal. That knocked off almost 30 miles. Just bypassing Montreal made me happy. Overall, I used one less tank of fuel than our old truck would have used.
We stopped at our other kids house and traded our grandson for our dog before getting home. It seemed like a fair trade to all concerned.
I reached retirement age
The Panda Nut
Nutty about Pandas Infected by Panda virus and OPD
Well done. A*I reached retirement age
Had you failed to get there I would have given you E- see me after school!
I'm nearly there, already confirmed state pension, still fighting with some paperwork for a company pension. When those two kick in, I'll be 'earning' more than at present.I reached retirement age
And, I'll keep on working my normal two days a week.
I've done that twice already. Retired, that is. Here's hoping the third time is a charm.I reached retirement age
Commute was fine...left early got the car defrosted.
Also the joys of being in the hills, every other car in the park and the ground snow free and 2 degrees warmer at the office.
Also the joys of being in the hills, every other car in the park and the ground snow free and 2 degrees warmer at the office.
A snow covered car is a way of life out here, November to April.
What made me smile today? Actually, yesterday. The Ural has been somewhat of a snot since the top end rebuild and I've been getting a noise from the front wheel. Usually, it will start on the first or second kick. Run great, then the right cylinder will cut out. Always the right side. And not all the time. So, I went back through my notes and found I hadn't replaced the plugs. I didn't replace them because, 1, they were fairly new, and 2, I didn't have any spares at the time. In the meantime, I had gotten new plugs that were on the shelf. After a round of old school mechanicin', I found that the right plug would not spark consistently, while the left did. The Ural has a 'Lost Spark System', so I should get a spark on each engine revolution. I swapped the plugs around and repeated the test and this time the suspect plug only sparked occasionally. I swapped the plugs back to their original position and the suspect plug didn't spark at all.. So, I replaced both plugs and we have a happy motor. I went for a ride around the neighborhood , then spotted the path where the local kids take their ATV's in to the woods and said, why not.
After a bumpy ride on frozen ground, I pulled the Ural into the garage and used a small bottle jack on each fork leg to raise the front end and compress the suspension at the same time. The Brembo brake system was rattling when I spun the wheel. I moved the brake caliper out of the way and found a whack of side to side play in the front wheel. JHC, I'd dealt with this before. This meant the bearing screw and lock nut had come loose. Again. I pulled the wheel and sure as sh!t, I unscrewed both parts by hand. The bearing screw is shot. Mind you, I have a new hub with bearings on order, but that's still not here.
I had an old Ural wheel with a drum brake hub sitting in a truing stand, waiting on me to repair the rim. It uses the same bearing screw and lock nut as the disk brake hub. That hub hasn't been apart in 16 years. It took a 3' long pipe on the hook wrench to break the lock nut loose, and BFH on the pin wrench to get the screw out. Swapped out the bits and no more play in the front wheel and no more rattling in the front brake.
Just in time for winter riding.
What made me smile today? Actually, yesterday. The Ural has been somewhat of a snot since the top end rebuild and I've been getting a noise from the front wheel. Usually, it will start on the first or second kick. Run great, then the right cylinder will cut out. Always the right side. And not all the time. So, I went back through my notes and found I hadn't replaced the plugs. I didn't replace them because, 1, they were fairly new, and 2, I didn't have any spares at the time. In the meantime, I had gotten new plugs that were on the shelf. After a round of old school mechanicin', I found that the right plug would not spark consistently, while the left did. The Ural has a 'Lost Spark System', so I should get a spark on each engine revolution. I swapped the plugs around and repeated the test and this time the suspect plug only sparked occasionally. I swapped the plugs back to their original position and the suspect plug didn't spark at all.. So, I replaced both plugs and we have a happy motor. I went for a ride around the neighborhood , then spotted the path where the local kids take their ATV's in to the woods and said, why not.
After a bumpy ride on frozen ground, I pulled the Ural into the garage and used a small bottle jack on each fork leg to raise the front end and compress the suspension at the same time. The Brembo brake system was rattling when I spun the wheel. I moved the brake caliper out of the way and found a whack of side to side play in the front wheel. JHC, I'd dealt with this before. This meant the bearing screw and lock nut had come loose. Again. I pulled the wheel and sure as sh!t, I unscrewed both parts by hand. The bearing screw is shot. Mind you, I have a new hub with bearings on order, but that's still not here.
I had an old Ural wheel with a drum brake hub sitting in a truing stand, waiting on me to repair the rim. It uses the same bearing screw and lock nut as the disk brake hub. That hub hasn't been apart in 16 years. It took a 3' long pipe on the hook wrench to break the lock nut loose, and BFH on the pin wrench to get the screw out. Swapped out the bits and no more play in the front wheel and no more rattling in the front brake.
Just in time for winter riding.
The Panda Nut
Nutty about Pandas Infected by Panda virus and OPD
My journies on google always say motorcycling, so I take it thats because it can hear the twin air engine. Noop is my sort of winter motoring. 4 Wheel drive and climate set to 23C, Boots gloves hat and thick gloves in the back in case I have to brave the cold. Motorcycling at less than 12C madness. I leave such things to Polar bears and North American bears like you!
Probably my worst day.
You can't sit in front of the tube and vegetate all winter. Well, you can but it ain't good for you.
The last pic is after our 100mph scoot in N.Wisconsin, aka, The Frozen Tundra.
The Panda Nut
Nutty about Pandas Infected by Panda virus and OPD
Well Snowmobile might tempt me! We only get snow like that every 20 years or so.
Saw a few posts on a "classic car site"
The pictures of what I was first driving after passing my test..
From memory.. And some rough calculations..
It was Scabby with rust, had covered 42,000 miles and was @9 years old
My "1st car" was so rusty it never actually made it back onto the road.. It was 12 years old,
Equivalent to 2010/13 era from here... Sounds odd doesn't it
The pictures of what I was first driving after passing my test..
From memory.. And some rough calculations..
It was Scabby with rust, had covered 42,000 miles and was @9 years old
My "1st car" was so rusty it never actually made it back onto the road.. It was 12 years old,
Equivalent to 2010/13 era from here... Sounds odd doesn't it
Saw a few posts on a "classic car site"
The pictures of what I was first driving after passing my test..
From memory.. And some rough calculations..
It was Scabby with rust, had covered 42,000 miles and was @9 years old
My "1st car" was so rusty it never actually made it back onto the road.. It was 12 years old,
Equivalent to 2010/13 era from here... Sounds odd doesn't it
Think what you've encountered there is the difference between nostalgia and reality.
My dad had a selection of 3 year old cars growing up, he spent most Saturday's fighting rust forever sanding a panel back or spraying it. Exhausts lasted 12 months and usually fell off on the coldest day in January...starting on cold days was optional from time to time, 90mph was to all intents and purposes as fast as you wanted to or as fast as it would go. Wouldn't demist more than the windscreen and heated rear window and if you did both at the same time it ran rough due to the electrical load...
But modern cars are terrible...
Last edited:
Sort of..
I look back on it as OLD, where in reality.. It wasn't (in the modern era a 9 year old car with less than 50k would fetch a premium..)
I recall a conversation at a TeaBreak in an Engineering place 15 years ago..
With these era cars:
No expansion tank.. Spat coolant on the floor
4 speed gearbox
Optional slot in the front bumper
If you went to look at a used car it was all about corrosion.. And smoke..
And anything over 50,000 miles you would just walk away
Conversely.. Before Alloy heads.. Headgaskets were a rare failure and low coolant just made the heater even worse (despite the sheet of cardboard..)
I look back on it as OLD, where in reality.. It wasn't (in the modern era a 9 year old car with less than 50k would fetch a premium..)
I recall a conversation at a TeaBreak in an Engineering place 15 years ago..
With these era cars:
No expansion tank.. Spat coolant on the floor
4 speed gearbox
Optional slot in the front bumper
If you went to look at a used car it was all about corrosion.. And smoke..
And anything over 50,000 miles you would just walk away
Conversely.. Before Alloy heads.. Headgaskets were a rare failure and low coolant just made the heater even worse (despite the sheet of cardboard..)
First car I had (1.0 Uno...) Had the benefit of many period features...other than an iron block.
The difference in the defrosting process is vaguely hilarious. Modern car, stick you head in the door, turn the key having checked the wipers aren't on auto and it's in neutral. Press front and rear demist....do the side windows..drive off.
While having to get the right combination of throttle and choke to get it started on a cold day added a frisson of excitement...as did the game knowing when to stick your head back in the door while it was on choke to adjust it so it didn't flood but leave enough choke on that the rear window and fans didn't stop the engine dead it wasn't that convenient. Obviously also leaving the lights/window and fans on accidentally while cranking on a cold day with the 30 odd AH batteries old superminis used to have is also a recipe for disaster and added just a little more jeopardy.
However good time to be breakdown man..lots of break downs most of which could be fixed with a booster pack, a hammer or leaving it for a bit and trying again.
It's all a matter of perspective regards the age...if you remember it coming out it can't be that old because you aren't...even if it came out in a different century
The difference in the defrosting process is vaguely hilarious. Modern car, stick you head in the door, turn the key having checked the wipers aren't on auto and it's in neutral. Press front and rear demist....do the side windows..drive off.
While having to get the right combination of throttle and choke to get it started on a cold day added a frisson of excitement...as did the game knowing when to stick your head back in the door while it was on choke to adjust it so it didn't flood but leave enough choke on that the rear window and fans didn't stop the engine dead it wasn't that convenient. Obviously also leaving the lights/window and fans on accidentally while cranking on a cold day with the 30 odd AH batteries old superminis used to have is also a recipe for disaster and added just a little more jeopardy.
However good time to be breakdown man..lots of break downs most of which could be fixed with a booster pack, a hammer or leaving it for a bit and trying again.
It's all a matter of perspective regards the age...if you remember it coming out it can't be that old because you aren't...even if it came out in a different century
