What's made you not grumpy but not smile either today?

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What's made you not grumpy but not smile either today?

Yes I agree. They were 'of their time', and it was different. May be good for training today but day to day, No way Jose! May be mandatory reintroduction for cars with 0 to 60 under 10 seconds should be imposed. It would thin out the blankety blanks on the roads.. Mind you last time I was further north and it was frosty, there was a Porch Cayenne parked neatly in the middle of a little wood, on a nice bend in the road. It was apparently un damaged. The joy was the woodlet was surrounded by a 4 foot wall, no gate. I reckon about a dozen trees would need felling to extract it. I would have refused permission and made them lift it out with a helicopter.... and billed them for damage to the trees. Some people dont need crossplies.
With cars getting so much better, drivers never understand where the limits are, until they park it in the trees, or someone's garden. Having bought a Cayenne, the owner probably thought he was then bombproof.
As winter moves nearer, we'll get the usual 4x4 drivers moving too fast on ice and snow, thinking that 4wd will fix everything. Sadly not enough physics taught these days. Having 4wd allows you to use whatever grip is available, by all four tyres. It does not create more grip. Braking and steering are still mainly relying on the front wheels, and the downside of the extra weight, is that they can let go more easily. Fat tyres, for better grip in the dry, tend to be less useful in slippery conditions. I do like trundling past the stuck ones in the Panda.

Quite a few years ago, (probably 2008) with a Corsa school car, entering a snowy hamlet, there in a ditch was an Audi A4 quattro. The driver was stood beside it, looking a bit embarrassed, and a little disappointed as the Corsa gently passed without issue. 5 minutes later, he was more disappointed, as my learner drove out past him, again without issue.
 
I do like trundling past the stuck ones in the Panda.
In the past when we got a little snow and all the traffic slid to a halt on the hills around here, I enjoyed slowly pottering past them in a 1974? left hand drive Citroen Dyanne with a 435cc engine on 125x15 standard Michelins ZXs, if I recall.;)
It reminds me of the video of loads of cars getting stuck up a steep hill with a U turn half way up and a single decker bus slowly weaved past all the idiots and continued his journey full of fare paying passengers, with all the spectators dumbfounded.:)
 
I had a Citroen Dyane back when the craze for small Japanese 4x4s started. The Suzuki SJ413 was supposedly quite capable off-road. I guess a lot of that must have been down to driver skill (or lack of), as I remember driving up a snowy and slimy hill in winter without even thinking about it, only to be accosted by the SJ413 owner who had got stuck at the bottom (and had scrounged a lift from a tractor driver). He was fuming that I had showed up his 4x4 with a battered old Citroen.
I did offer him a lift back down he hill, but I guess he couldn't face the embarrassment...
 
Mind you last time I was further north and it was frosty, there was a Porch Cayenne parked neatly in the middle of a little wood, on a nice bend in the road. It was apparently un damaged. Some people dont need crossplies.
Even quite modest motors these days have stupidly wide tyres. Apparently the most popular tyre size is currently 205/55R16. My boy's old Astra had these and it was horrid in the snow. Glad my ibiza is only on 185 section tyres. Best car I ever drove in the snow was my old Citroen Dyane on 135 section Michelins. Combine that with an engine which couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding and you've got a car which was almost unstoppable" Ice? I hear you ask, well only studs will really work well on that.

Edit. Hey, so many people who've had Dyanes! Usually I get people chiming in about 2CVs when I mention my Dyane. Maybe we should start a subsection for previous owners of Dyanes? I've still got a hankering to own an Acadiane
 
I had a Citroen Dyane back when the craze for small Japanese 4x4s started. The Suzuki SJ413 was supposedly quite capable off-road. I guess a lot of that must have been down to driver skill (or lack of), as I remember driving up a snowy and slimy hill in winter without even thinking about it, only to be accosted by the SJ413 owner who had got stuck at the bottom (and had scrounged a lift from a tractor driver). He was fuming that I had showed up his 4x4 with a battered old Citroen.
I did offer him a lift back down he hill, but I guess he couldn't face the embarrassment...
That bungalow we owned out in the country when we first moved back to Scotland was up a long quite steep hill and the wee Citroen was the only car in the village that wasn't 4wd that could get up it in the snow.

Edit. PS, yes Mike I think the early 2 cylinder Citroens were on 125 but mine was a later one. Mine was a Dyane 6 with the "powerful" 603cc engine
 
Even quite modest motors these days have stupidly wide tyres. Apparently the most popular tyre size is currently 205/55R16. My boy's old Astra had these and it was horrid in the snow. Glad my ibiza is only on 185 section tyres. Best car I ever drove in the snow was my old Citroen Dyane on 135 section Michelins. Combine that with an engine which couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding and you've got a car which was almost unstoppable" Ice? I hear you ask, well only studs will really work well on that.

Edit. Hey, so many people who've had Dyanes! Usually I get people chiming in about 2CVs when I mention my Dyane. Maybe we should start a subsection for previous owners of Dyanes? I've still got a hankering to own an Acadiane
Ooh I say. Dyanne. Posh nobs 2CV!. My dad had a 2CV in 77. It was the poor mans version. 125 tyres. He said it was aceon snow too. Insufficient power for spinning wheels, even on ice.
 
I thought the posh 2CV was the Ami... Dyanes were usually cheaper than real 2CVs second hand.
Mine was almost unstoppable until the handbrake came off revealing some worrying rot in the bulkhead.
They were all mad but suprisingly good at doing the job. Being towed 85 miles from near High Wycombe to central Kent by dads 2CV was an experience. Mothers Honda N600 had expired. It weighed more than the 2CV. However, we didnt break the rope. Not bad for a novice.
 
Just a change in tyre size can make enough difference to whether you go, or not in snow.
One evening, just a mile from home at a party, we opened the door to find snow. (Rare on Portland) It was already about 1.5-2" deep.
One Mk2 Cortina on 165s struggled. The other, on crossplies (equivalent width to 155) just trundled home.

Years later, swapped a Marina on 155s, for a Fiat 131 on 165s. Similar weight, both RWD, both auto. Marina in snow, capable if driven carefully. The 131, put in D, at tickover, just turned the rear wheels, went nowhere.

Classic Panda 750, on I think 145s, ignored snow, just drove normally. Current Panda, on 155s, very capable in snow. The 1980 Marina, 1.7, considered a large car, had 155s. Now considered small, on the Panda.
 
Dyane posh, was that because the front door windows slide back instead of flipped up on to a stud on the 2CV?:)
I paid £40 for mine as a non runner, no Mot, and duff alternator, it was LHD on Dutch number plates, but had spent all it's life in Spain so amazingly no rust, towed it home, parked it on a slope unhooked all the seats and ran a hose through the inside, probably the first clean it had ever had.
I got a set of brushes for the alternator for £6, two wheels and tyres (one brand new) for a £5 from the local scrapyard, it flew through the Mot after Registering it for England which was easy in those days.
Fitted three sets of child restraints across the back seats (the other two children came later courtesy of a local GP who told my wife she was pregnant and to come off the pill, at the 18 week scan at hospital sure enough she was pregnant, but only the 10 weeks since coming off the pill! I told the young Doctor who laughed, I said it is alright for you I have to buy a seven seater car, not the first time I doubted his competence!) however the car became our regular family transport and being only 435cc this meant driving flat out everywhere including the bends with lots of body lean so as not to lose momentum. The only downside was the the amount of stops for oldest daughter to feel sick, we tried all the anti sickness tips but she was the only one who suffered.
 
I had a Citroen Dyane back when the craze for small Japanese 4x4s started. The Suzuki SJ413 was supposedly quite capable off-road. I guess a lot of that must have been down to driver skill (or lack of), as I remember driving up a snowy and slimy hill in winter without even thinking about it, only to be accosted by the SJ413 owner who had got stuck at the bottom (and had scrounged a lift from a tractor driver). He was fuming that I had showed up his 4x4 with a battered old Citroen.
I did offer him a lift back down he hill, but I guess he couldn't face the embarrassment...
One of my daughter friends had just bought a Japanese 4x4 and thought it would be fun for him and his family to "off road " it along a muddy river bank, my daughter rang me for help and I came out with my Iveco 3.5 Daily , by then the 4x4 was in mud up to it's chassis rails , I stayed on the tarmac with a very long rope, no way was I going to chance it!
It still wouldn't shift but lucky for him a local farm came out with a brand new massive 4x4 dump truck and did the job.
Daughters "friend" was such an assh*le, I had to tell him to go and thank the farmer and offer to pay him:(, though the farmer refused to accept payment.
 
That's another thing that's changed over the years.... we don't have many "local farmers" any more. Back when I was young it was easy to find one to help pull a car out of a ditch - in fact we even had a couple of local farmers who would let you make running repairs to the ditched car in their workshop.
Nowadays most of the farms seem to be owned by big companies, and they don't (or can't) help in any way.
We used to have our (small) field cut by the same farmer, probably for 40 years. Couple of years ago he didn't just turn up and cut it as usual, and I found out he had retired (at 85) and gone into a hospice. I didn't even know he was ill, and I'd assumed he was only in his 60s.
The farm was being sold to a company which already owns most of the farms round here, and they weren't interested in cutting our field.
I've managed to find someone to cut the field next year, but he's in his 70s, and only uses a tractor for fun nowadays.
More progress, I guess.
 
Just a change in tyre size can make enough difference to whether you go, or not in snow.
One evening, just a mile from home at a party, we opened the door to find snow. (Rare on Portland) It was already about 1.5-2" deep.
One Mk2 Cortina on 165s struggled. The other, on crossplies (equivalent width to 155) just trundled home.

Years later, swapped a Marina on 155s, for a Fiat 131 on 165s. Similar weight, both RWD, both auto. Marina in snow, capable if driven carefully. The 131, put in D, at tickover, just turned the rear wheels, went nowhere.

Classic Panda 750, on I think 145s, ignored snow, just drove normally. Current Panda, on 155s, very capable in snow. The 1980 Marina, 1.7, considered a large car, had 155s. Now considered small, on the Panda.
Two of the older guys had marinas at our dealership, I used to give one a lift home wehn it snowed, in my 131, the other just used to leave it and walk home, mainly because it would be quicker! They lift guy used to live at the top of a hill and, although we snaked it, it always got to the top provided the bus wasn’t stuck 90 degrees to the road, which often happened. He used to say that snow was the only way folk on the hill would actually make them use their driveways
 
My Mum had a Morris Traveller (Morris Minor estate for you youngsters) and it was quite the worst car I've ever driven in the snow, A couple of bags of spuds in the back helped a lot.
A lot like pickups then, only safe wehn they have a load in, even with LSD. I used to drive all mine in 4x4 high after hitting some slippy stuff and ended up 180 on a the A64!
 
Two of the older guys had marinas at our dealership, I used to give one a lift home wehn it snowed, in my 131, the other just used to leave it and walk home, mainly because it would be quicker! They lift guy used to live at the top of a hill and, although we snaked it, it always got to the top provided the bus wasn’t stuck 90 degrees to the road, which often happened. He used to say that snow was the only way folk on the hill would actually make them use their driveways
Many of our customers ran Morris Marinas and it was a car I got to know well - I doubt if a day went by without at least one being in the shop for service or repairs. It was an easy car to work on but it's suspension was positively archaic - pretty much lifted straight out of the Minor parts bin, although at least it didn't have king pins like the old A55 and other earlier BMC offerings! I'd like a shilling for every one of the front lever arm shockers I've changed. They were so light on the back end too, a problem further aggravated by fitting the 1.8 "B" series engine. The TC - with what was basically the MGB engine in it - was always a very interesting experience to drive in a "spirited fashion". I liked working on them but didn't particularly like driving them.
 
My Mum had a Morris Traveller (Morris Minor estate for you youngsters) and it was quite the worst car I've ever driven in the snow, A couple of bags of spuds in the back helped a lot.
Can you still buy spuds in sacks? Mind you, the rate I use them, they'd be well off by the time I got halfway down.
The Austin Maxi was always reasonable in the snow, even better if a sack of spuds was sat on the front subframe under the bonnet. There was room, although they tended to cook. The HL twin carb model had fatter tyres, and was not so good.
I remember the DAFs being quite good, as the transmission tended to change up until slippage stopped, and before the 66, they all effectively had a LSD.
 
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