Thanks to you all!!!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "Forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safer, more secure, blessed and healthy.
An extra special thank you goes to whoever sent me the email about rat cr*p in the glue on envelopes - 'cause I now have to go and get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 2,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the £25,000 that Microsoft and AOL are both sending me for participating in their special super on-line email program.
I have a best mate in Nigeria that I have never met although he has promised to send me £30 Million via Paypal.
I have a Doctorate in Neurology that only took a few emails and £29.99 to acquire.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains with ease, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin reject slot on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC, Burger King or MacDonalds because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 1, 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seventeen of my friends and make a wish within five seconds.
Ohhhhh Yes, I want to thank you all SO much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 300,144,683 people in the next 3 minutes, a VERY large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on your head at 5:03pm tomorrow afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician's decorator's mechanic.
This is no joke .
Oh ... And have a nice year-end break and a good 2006
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "Forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safer, more secure, blessed and healthy.
An extra special thank you goes to whoever sent me the email about rat cr*p in the glue on envelopes - 'cause I now have to go and get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 2,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the £25,000 that Microsoft and AOL are both sending me for participating in their special super on-line email program.
I have a best mate in Nigeria that I have never met although he has promised to send me £30 Million via Paypal.
I have a Doctorate in Neurology that only took a few emails and £29.99 to acquire.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains with ease, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin reject slot on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC, Burger King or MacDonalds because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 1, 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seventeen of my friends and make a wish within five seconds.
Ohhhhh Yes, I want to thank you all SO much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 300,144,683 people in the next 3 minutes, a VERY large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on your head at 5:03pm tomorrow afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician's decorator's mechanic.
This is no joke .
Oh ... And have a nice year-end break and a good 2006
