Chav Logic...

[James M]

A colleague of mine was telling me of a recent run in with a chav...

The lad in question was on his way home after an early evening drink in town, a chav comes up to him and says:
"here lend us a tab"

My mate says:

"what?"

Chav:

"lend us a tab man"

My mate:

"No."

Chav:

"here man ya proper clifford"

So my mate is a little puzzled and says;

"what did you just call me?"

Chav:

"Clifford, ya na, clifford, clifford street, clifford street police station"

So my mate walks off bemused, aside from being an amusing little failure on the part of the chav, it actually shows some logic and creativity that could surely be better channelled than begging on the street.

And some kids actually think being a chav is desireable

 

[black_cinq]

And some kids actually think being a chav is desireable

I find that very worrying

 

[gaz.d]

i laugh and point at chavs in the street, i shouldnt really but i find them funny

*gaz goes to put stab vest on*

 

[James M]

Gaz...

Its generally safe to do that, they're all 9st weaklings anyway!

There was the time one of them tried to mug me and my Girlfriend, he was literally half my size, fair do's he had a little metal bar with him, but I don't reckon he had the strength to do any damage with it, you should have seen his face when I walked off laughing :devil:

 

[gaz.d]

Re: Gaz...

i still wouldnt like to mess with a chav high on glue and a knife, maybe if i offer him my fake burberry hat he will go away

i tend to get lots of chavs in work at around 3am, dont they have homes to go to

 

[GhostWKD]

Re: Gaz...

innit

 

[James M]

Re: Gaz...

dont they have homes to go to

only the female ones, they get them free off the council as a reward for bringing there delightfull offspring into the world for the good of mankind :devil:

 

[gaz.d]

Re: Gaz...

ah mini chavs, got more bling on them than a jewellers

 

[Alex]

am I fik? wotsa tab? zit slaaaang, ower sump-fing?

Please excuse the accent... but really... whats a tab... money... a tablet of lsd (although how you could possibly lend this is beyond me)... a cup of coffee???

 

[James M]

Tab...

What geordie chavs call cigarettes!

Actually, I think the word originated around here, only it started out as 'charva', but southeners being southerners they had to nick it and change it round before claiming it as they're own :devil:

 

[gaz.d]

Re: Tab...

What geordie chavs call cigarettes!

Actually, I think the word originated around here, only it started out as 'charva', but southeners being southerners they had to nick it and change it round before claiming it as they're own :devil:

are you bitter about this

i have always known them as scallys, i only knew of chavs since i joined here

 

[Alex]

Hey... don't get started on the north/south thing... I'm a northerner too, but I'm having to breath the polluted southern air to pass my degree... Always been called townies/pikeys where I came from.

 

[James M]

Bitter??? Moi???

no, course not, just joking!

It is something which was just pointed out on a local radio station the other day, ironically, the two presenters discussing it are regarded by many as a right pair of Chavs

 

[jasper]

Chavs eh? you gotta love em, or maybe not? There are many chavs at my work claiming New Tax Credits some of them 'earn' more than my wife and I, who both work full time. One kicked off the other day and had to be lead away by security. She had already spent the £700 the government gave her last week on her four kids (she was 18) oh that and a new mobile phone she decided to make a call on when security were taking her away! She kicked off because she was told she couldn't have any more £'s beat that for logic.

Anyway my favourite chav car I've seen near me is a hand painted bright yellow Rover 214 with a crappy exhaust that's driven everywhere like it's trying to acheive warp factor!!

 

[black_cinq]

Well they were just kevs until i joined here

 

[James M]

Benefits...

Referring again to my favourite programme, wife swap;

two words:

Lizzy Bardsley.

Enough said?

There are two schools of thoughts for couples considering children:

The normal couple think: 'Can we really afford it?'

The chav couple think: 'Can we really not afford it?'


It is a disgrace that a young girl can literally make a living legally from having kids. :devil:

 

[jasper]

Absolutely, couldn't agree more...

 

[JonnyBoy]

You should have to pass a "chav test" before being allowed any kind of benefits. The merest hint of chavness, and it's a life sleeping in the gutter where the townie scum belong

I should run for Prime Minister!

 

[James M]

Jonnyboy...

I so agree with some of your views

Can I be you're chancellor?

 

[GhostWKD]

Re: Jonnyboy...

got my vote