glenn2602
Member
Let's face it - a nut, bolt or screw can turn one of two ways; clockwise or anticlockwise ... Nothing could be simpler, eh? But of course there are those times when nothing, but nothing goes right. The hours mount up and it seems to get dark very quickly and you've got cramp from crawling under the car, skinned knuckles and depression is beginning to set in .. and no matter what, you can't figure the problem out or get it to fit/work...
In 1976 I had a 1300cc Triumph Toledo .. the rear wheel drive model. At start up from cold the bottom end of the engine would tap for a few seconds and it would take a few seconds for the oil light to go out. Worn big end bearings..
The cylinder head and camshaft was removed, the engine was stripped down and the block sent away for a rebore with new pistons and a crankshaft regrind/new big end bearings.
After reassembly new oil was added .. and coolant .. which just seemed to pour out of the cylinder head before the engine was even started. The head came off again .. and it was found that the brand new head gasket had a manufacturing fault. Back to the car accessory shop and exchange the head gasket ..
It fired up no problem with the new head gasket .. but sluggish? It was like driving a 300cc car. It had the acceleration of a tortoise on Mogadon and a top speed of 60mph .... eventually. Literally. The car wasn't really usable.
I wouldn't like to think how many times the valve timing and the ignition timing were checked. Everybody had their own theory as to what might be wrong, and yes, I am a firm believer that an exorcism can drive out the evil pixies that live in an engine. When you've tried everything you'll try anything including 'pixie flush' (no longer available without prescription..). Desperate times. Sound familiar?
A lifetime later me and a couple of friends did a compression test and found that each bore had a reading of 105psi
Huh? 105 psi? That was way way down. It was almost as if the engineering company who'd done the rebore had forgotten to fit the rings on the new pistons .. or there was some other problem with the head, which was whipped off pronto ..
... and nothing, but nothing was visibly wrong. Then - eventually - somebody noticed that the pistons didn't quite reach the top of the bores when turning the engine .. they were a smidgeon too short. The engineering company had fitted the wrong pistons, which meant removing and stripping the engine again and sending it back to them ..
Fast forward a few years to a 1980 18 month old Austin Maxi, low mileage and in mint condition. No gears. Permanent neutral. The cause is a failed locknut on the main gearbox shaft. To replace that nut you have to remove the combined engine/gearbox unit, remove the engine from the gearbox, then begin dismantling things as you work down the gearbox .. just to replace a nut and locking tab. Fun, it isn't ..
Or what about changing a timing chain on a Renault 5? At some time in their life everybody should be made to change a timing chain on a Renault 5.
Change the bushes on a Cinquecento rear trailing arm? If anybody tells you that all you have to do is drop the arm - don't bother disconnecting the brake pipe - as you can use a socket or threaded bar to remove the old bush .. well .. shoot him immediately. It's an evil pixie in human form. Unless you put the trailing arm in a vice and use an oxy-acetylene torch to burn the old one out and have an orang utan on hand to hammer the new ones in, you'll have difficulty. Buy a new trailing arm that already has the bushes fitted.
Nightmare jobs that you wish you'd never started/glad to finish .. What's yours?
In 1976 I had a 1300cc Triumph Toledo .. the rear wheel drive model. At start up from cold the bottom end of the engine would tap for a few seconds and it would take a few seconds for the oil light to go out. Worn big end bearings..
The cylinder head and camshaft was removed, the engine was stripped down and the block sent away for a rebore with new pistons and a crankshaft regrind/new big end bearings.
After reassembly new oil was added .. and coolant .. which just seemed to pour out of the cylinder head before the engine was even started. The head came off again .. and it was found that the brand new head gasket had a manufacturing fault. Back to the car accessory shop and exchange the head gasket ..
It fired up no problem with the new head gasket .. but sluggish? It was like driving a 300cc car. It had the acceleration of a tortoise on Mogadon and a top speed of 60mph .... eventually. Literally. The car wasn't really usable.
I wouldn't like to think how many times the valve timing and the ignition timing were checked. Everybody had their own theory as to what might be wrong, and yes, I am a firm believer that an exorcism can drive out the evil pixies that live in an engine. When you've tried everything you'll try anything including 'pixie flush' (no longer available without prescription..). Desperate times. Sound familiar?
A lifetime later me and a couple of friends did a compression test and found that each bore had a reading of 105psi
Huh? 105 psi? That was way way down. It was almost as if the engineering company who'd done the rebore had forgotten to fit the rings on the new pistons .. or there was some other problem with the head, which was whipped off pronto ..
... and nothing, but nothing was visibly wrong. Then - eventually - somebody noticed that the pistons didn't quite reach the top of the bores when turning the engine .. they were a smidgeon too short. The engineering company had fitted the wrong pistons, which meant removing and stripping the engine again and sending it back to them ..
Fast forward a few years to a 1980 18 month old Austin Maxi, low mileage and in mint condition. No gears. Permanent neutral. The cause is a failed locknut on the main gearbox shaft. To replace that nut you have to remove the combined engine/gearbox unit, remove the engine from the gearbox, then begin dismantling things as you work down the gearbox .. just to replace a nut and locking tab. Fun, it isn't ..
Or what about changing a timing chain on a Renault 5? At some time in their life everybody should be made to change a timing chain on a Renault 5.
Change the bushes on a Cinquecento rear trailing arm? If anybody tells you that all you have to do is drop the arm - don't bother disconnecting the brake pipe - as you can use a socket or threaded bar to remove the old bush .. well .. shoot him immediately. It's an evil pixie in human form. Unless you put the trailing arm in a vice and use an oxy-acetylene torch to burn the old one out and have an orang utan on hand to hammer the new ones in, you'll have difficulty. Buy a new trailing arm that already has the bushes fitted.
Nightmare jobs that you wish you'd never started/glad to finish .. What's yours?
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