What's made you smile today?

[bugsymike]

We got two cans each.

As an apprentice the boss's took us over the road for drinks Christmas time and included the bin men as well as they would always take anything we loaded in their lorry.
They also did a evening out at a posh restaurant all paid for every year for all staff and partners, one year on the way back through the lanes there was a car on it's roof, they all thought it would be me, but it was the petrol pump attendant's husband in a Morris 1000 Traveller, we all got out, turned it upright and shoved it up a side lane, collecting it the next day.
Following that the next year boss's paid for us all to stay at a big hotel on the moors for the for the meal and drinks, then included rooms for the night for everyone. Great people to work for, although weak/weekly wage was the only reason I left.

 

[Pugglt Auld Jock]

I'm not so sure, apprantly they have something called the sun there, and it's warm, not the the one we get here a few times a year

aye, but they've got quite a problem with skin cancer due to a thinning of the ozone layer, don't they?

 

[Pugglt Auld Jock]

I have two sump pumps in my basement. One on the west side and one on the east side. The pits are about two foot deep. Makes it easier to replace the pumps. Apparently my house was built on a spring. Because I am in a rural area, I also have battery powered back up pumps for when ComEd's electric grid shuts down. That's usually caused by some motorist slamming into a power pole.

Driving along a water way with the windows closed because a water moccasin can fling itself into the car? Ohh Kay. Never heard that one and I've worked in the swamps of Maryland and Virginia. I just considered the area to be beastly hot and humid. My grandma used to tell us kids to stay away from Dragonflies because they would sew our lips shut if we got too close.

I don't think I've ever seen a Copperhead but then I may be too far north. I've seen two Diamondbacks but mostly we have harmless Garter Snakes here. The Brown Recluse Spider has a nasty bite that requires medical attention. Deer Ticks carry Lyme disease. Poison Ivy, 'Leaves of 3, Let It Be'. Stinging Nettle aka Itch Weed grows wild out here. My wife had a run in with it last summer. Pokeweed can be nasty. Fire Ants. Because I have apple trees, I also have Yellow Jackets. Also known as the Assholes of the Bee World. They sting repeatedly. Mrs.Cheest had a run in with them last year, too.

I had to service a machine in the south Texas desert. It was a cold morning, just above freezing. I went to open the door of the cab and spotted one of the two Diamondbacks in my life. Because it was cold, it wasn't moving much, so I grabbed two long sticks, picked it up and flung it over the fence. I opened the engine cover and a rat that could eat a Chihuahua was sitting on the engine. I swatted at it and it ambled away. I was laying under the machine, wiping up after the oil change when I felt something on my chest. I looked down and there was a Tarantula spider looking back at me. I decided then and there that the service was complete, shot out from under the machine, and did the 'Willies Dance' once I stood up. I called my boss and told him I wanted hazard pay if I ever had to work in the south Texas desert again.

I didn't really believe the thing about snakes flinging themselves in the window, but thought to myself "well, you never know and this isn't my country so better safe than sorry". The copperheads were quite common. We saw several in the woods behind my girl's house on one day. Never seen a rattler though, apart from in the cowboy films.

Best spider we saw was in a wooden covered bridge. It was very colourful with red highlights on it's body - about 2 times bigger than any spider I ever saw in the UK. I heard about yellow jackets and I'm very glad we don't have them - our wasps are bad enough, had a big nest of them in my roof last year and in my shed the year before.

 

[The Panda Nut]

Reminds me of the meetings I had in korea, where the big boss got us some beer for the meal, 1 bottle between 10 - 12 people and each of us given a small, half full, shot glass of beer

Clearly he was TRUE management material!

 

[Cheest]

aye, but they've got quite a problem with skin cancer due to a thinning of the ozone layer, don't they?

But...but...beer. And babes.

 

[portland_bill]

There's a young guy down the road with a Skoda Octavia. It has been parked on the drive for ages, not moved. Prior to that, his driving left a lot to be desired, so I assumed perhaps a ban.
Then a few weeks ago, it got moved onto the road, to make space for another car. Dad's Audi needed some front suspension work, so a similar model arrived as a donor. Seemed odd, as new suspension struts aren't usually expensive, and half the work of swapping from one car to another. Eventually, donor car disappeared, but Octavia remained on the road.
Yesterday, it grew a bright yellow clamp, bearing the logo DVLA, and stickers on the windscreen declaring untaxed vehicle. Seems not taxed, or MOT's since late 2022.
I think, as well as the fine, all back tax has to be paid before the clamp is removed. Or in a fortnight, the car gets removed and crushed. Oops!

 

[StevenRB45]

On that subject the dead 19 plate Fiesta got lifted recently as the MOT has gone and the Ecoboost was still doing Ecoboost things so the car couldn't move under its own power.

What's made me smile today is after about 3 months of watching what I eat I'm down to 12 stone 3 which given I'm 5'11 puts me nicely into a healthy BMI so I'm absolutely having beer and burger to start my bank holiday weekend.

 

[portland_bill]

What's made me smile today is after about 3 months of watching what I eat I'm down to 12 stone 3 which given I'm 5'11 puts me nicely into a healthy BMI so I'm absolutely having beer and burger to start my bank holiday weekend.

I'm also watching what I eat, but as it is all the wrong things, my weight is increasing slowly.

 

[portland_bill]

Spending a bit of time on the car yesterday, listening mostly to Greatest Hits Radio (when the signal is there), I was amused by the sequence of ads and announcements. Repeated many times.
First we got ads for "send us your gold and jewellery, we send you cash", and every time followed by an announcement for "Cash for Kids day". I have this picture of packaging up some kids, taking them to the Post Office and despatching the 'parcel', to receive an offer a few days later. Not having any kids, I'll miss that earning opportunity.

 

[portland_bill]

Spent a morning in a new Dacia Sandero yesterday. (A Clio in a cheap frock.)
Presumably the 1.0 3cyl turbo engine, quite sprightly, needing a delicate touch to the accelerator, but otherwise a pleasant place to be. Enough modern toys to be useful, but not overkill, allowing you to get on with driving without nannying or annoyances.
Driver's seat seemed to lean forward a little, which was odd, as the passenger seat was fine, but a few weeks of a fat bum in it will sort that.

 

[The Panda Nut]

On that subject the dead 19 plate Fiesta got lifted recently as the MOT has gone and the Ecoboost was still doing Ecoboost things so the car couldn't move under its own power.

What's made me smile today is after about 3 months of watching what I eat I'm down to 12 stone 3 which given I'm 5'11 puts me nicely into a healthy BMI so I'm absolutely having beer and burger to start my bank holiday weekend.

Stop it. Thats not fair or reasonable for a man of 5 11 to be that thin. Reminding the rest of us... most of who are probably from the' well padded to slightly overweight' or 'getting a bit tubby' groups .... or in my case the 'FULL FB' group is just down right BADNESS.

GO OUT IMMEDIATELY AND BUY A LARGE BOX OF CREAM CAKES, THEM EAT THEM IN THE CARPARK and then GO BACK AND BUY SOME MORE.

Come on man stop letting the rest of us down and giving the wives ammunition. I shall have to stop Mrs PN getting wind of a thin man of similar height to myself or Ill NEVER get any peace. I can hear it now... "even your cohorts on that Fiat thing your always on are thinner thanyou....." LOL

Im not envious in any way. In fact I shall celebrate with a biscuit!

 

[The Panda Nut]

Spent a morning in a new Dacia Sandero yesterday. (A Clio in a cheap frock.)
Presumably the 1.0 3cyl turbo engine, quite sprightly, needing a delicate touch to the accelerator, but otherwise a pleasant place to be. Enough modern toys to be useful, but not overkill, allowing you to get on with driving without nannying or annoyances.
Driver's seat seemed to lean forward a little, which was odd, as the passenger seat was fine, but a few weeks of a fat bum in it will sort that.

Ive tried one too and agree with your verdict.

 

[The Panda Nut]

WInd

 

[The Panda Nut]

WInd

Too many biscuits eaten in reaction to one thin fforum member LOL

 

[Cheest]

I've managed to keep my weight down while laid up. Must be the muscle mass that atrophied.

 

[StevenRB45]

Stop it. Thats not fair or reasonable for a man of 5 11 to be that thin. Reminding the rest of us... most of who are probably from the' well padded to slightly overweight' or 'getting a bit tubby' groups .... or in my case the 'FULL FB' group is just down right BADNESS.

GO OUT IMMEDIATELY AND BUY A LARGE BOX OF CREAM CAKES, THEM EAT THEM IN THE CARPARK and then GO BACK AND BUY SOME MORE.

Come on man stop letting the rest of us down and giving the wives ammunition. I shall have to stop Mrs PN getting wind of a thin man of similar height to myself or Ill NEVER get any peace. I can hear it now... "even your cohorts on that Fiat thing your always on are thinner thanyou....." LOL

Im not envious in any way. In fact I shall celebrate with a biscuit!

It's alright my wife on the other hand is vaguely annoyed I've lost weight....

So far this week I've had both "Gaunt" and "Slenderman" levelled at me. So apparently I need to put some back on.

This is obviously after her complaining I need to look after my health...

So perhaps the grass will always be greener somewhere...

 

[The Panda Nut]

It's alright my wife on the other hand is vaguely annoyed I've lost weight....

So far this week I've had both "Gaunt" and "Slenderman" levelled at me. So apparently I need to put some back on.

This is obviously after her complaining I need to look after my health...

So perhaps the grass will always be greener somewhere...

Solution. Swap wives!

Edit
Wifes response
Jesus.....
Pause....
thought.....
Ive always been partial to a jordie accent

 

[StevenRB45]

Given your feelings on Citroëns it's doomed to failure given it's all she's had for a decade.

Also no..

 

[The Panda Nut]

Given your feelings on Citroëns it's doomed to failure given it's all she's had for a decade.

Also no..

I had 9 of the things and loved them. SO Im sure she has good taste.
They shot themselves by taking my nearly new BX away for 3 months, damaging the tops of both wings and giving it back without so much as an apology only to have it prove my point about an impossible fault a few months later. A great product spoilt by their sub normal UK HQ staff. If they had a gram of business sense they would have looked after one of their best owner driver customers. They have since lost 10 new car sales from me for the fixing of a simple problem which was identified and fixed in teh end by their local dealer, who later had the franchise removed without explantion.

I wonder if she has a softer rolling pin than Mrs Panda Nut....

Actually I was chatting to a young lady serving in a garag a week, or so back and she told me I looked quite slim for my age bracket. Mrs PN said she should ahve gone to Spec Savers.

 

[Cheest]

Mrs.Cheest complains that she can't lose weight. It's taken me a while, but I've learned not to respond. I had a relapse late last year when she again complained and I said, "You know, that tandem bike you insisted I get so we could exercise together only has 2 miles on it. And a 1/2 mile of that was moving it around the garage." I did duck quickly.

Also, before our doctor retired last year, he told her she needed to lose weight. I told him he was a brave man.