Some girlfriend help!

[volxstu]

Ditch her and move on. Makes her decision very easy and your not with somebody who doesnt appreciate you. Simple as that imo.

 

[Anthony A112]

My girlfriend says she feels lonely sometimes even when im always around or trying to help her.

When i met her her best friend had been dead for two months after dying in a car crash and it was pretty ****ty for ages and we still occasionally go through very crappy stages where i feel she takes a lot of anger out on me through silly arguments she has gone through stages of depression before and its been tough for me to watch. But after time it's leveled out.

but i would say don't be rash and walk away if she's clever she'll realise that you care about her so much it'd be silly to push you away rather than have you as support.
Just keep trying to get through to her and tell her you want to be there to help with how she's feeling. If it doesn't work out i agree just keep yourself busy and things will sort themselves out! your only like 19/20 yourself thats still very young! be positive and either way you'll come out better the other side!

 

[dave]

Hi guys,

I know this is a car forum but its the only forum I'm on so use are my only help!

Just been told by my girlfriend that she feels lonely but wants to be alone. She said she doesn't know how she feels and it's hard to explain.

She said she does want to be with me BUT she said she can't help it if this "feeling" makes her not want to be.

we went through a period of this last year where she didn't know what she wanted but eventually decided to stay with me.

This time she said it's a different feeling but i'm worried i'm going to be on my own soon but I'm hoping it's just a phase.

any why do woman think that by saying "if we do finish, you know it has nothing to do with you" it makes us feel so much better? personally I'm not interested in whether it is to do with me or not! I just want to be with her!

Anyone got any idea why she is feeling like this? hormones? just a woman thing?

Any help would be appreciated

Thanks
Craig

translates too, she got eye on some one else she wants to shag, but not sure if he up for it so keeping you hanging in there just incase

 

[Kerr1992]

There is no one else dave ... that I do know :O

Anyway, we just split up, I told her if she changes her mind to call or text me, she was in bits when I left so I hope she will :O

Thanks for all the help guys

 

[eamonnf]

translates too, she got eye on some one else she wants to shag, but not sure if he up for it so keeping you hanging in there just incase

Dave ever thought about a career in the Samaritans or ralationship mediation?

Hope things work out for the best fella!

 

[dave]

There is no one else dave ... that I do know :O

how you know that is she a minger?

 

[Kerr1992]

Gonna go wash the car, that should cheer me up

And no she was not a minger, she would just never leave me for anyone else, she doesn't want anyone around her at the moment because she just feels unhappy

 

[m20b25]

There is no one else dave ... that I do know :O

Anyway, we just split up, I told her if she changes her mind to call or text me, she was in bits when I left so I hope she will :O

Thanks for all the help guys

Women are strange lad... One min they're fine, next out comes the omen! Have too many t shirts and scars

Best thing to do now, cram you and some mates into your car, load the boot with beer and have one unholy weekend away

Many more out there, an ex is an example of what to avoid the next time

 

[Lecook]

translates too, she got eye on some one else she wants to shag, but not sure if he up for it so keeping you hanging in there just incase

:yeahthat: unfortunatly i kinda agree with dave

i had a bad relationship for 2 yrs she wouldnt go and see a doc and she didnt want any help

i stayed with her for the 2 yrs, we split and got back together and then split again and got back together, in time i got so fed up i just put it to her that if things didnt change i would walk for good

things didnt change so i did just that, i walked away, we had good times together and really bad times too, but now im happy ive been in my current relationship nearly 1months and things are going strong,

just goes to show there is someone out there for everyone and if your not happy then you find the one that does make you happy


keep your chin up and keep busy, i wish u the best of luck and hope all goes ok in the future

 

[Jonjo]

There is no one else dave ... that I do know :O

Anyway, we just split up, I told her if she changes her mind to call or text me, she was in bits when I left so I hope she will :O

Thanks for all the help guys

Hope you smashed her back doors in first!

In all seriousness, if she doesnt come back in a couple of weeks you will know you did the right thing. No point putting your heart into something for her to bin you a few months down the line.

 

[Shadeyman]

I've been watching the progress of this thread and it was nice to see people cared but I'm surprised no one actually said what we were all thinking. Dave's right so walk away/move on before you make a fool of yourself.

 

[jimboy]

Thing is about this thread, as I said earlier, there are more bits of information coming to the surface. We can only guess what the facts really are. No offence to the OP but this is a one sided story. Obviously only he is in a position to make a decision one way or another.

In the words of a song....only love can break your heart.....My wife & I have been married for 35yrs & before I met her I had a few relationships that did indeed break my heart at the time. In my humble opinion I feel your too young to tie yourself down like this. More fish in the sea & all that, "but" that's too easy for me or anyone else to say. Bottom line, do you dump her & go to pastures new,or creep around her hoping she'll give the affection you want. The choice is yours.

 

[GrandeGuy]

Thing is about this thread, as I said earlier, there are more bits of information coming to the surface. We can only guess what the facts really are. No offence to the OP but this is a one sided story. Obviously only he is in a position to make a decision one way or another.

In the words of a song....only love can break your heart.....My wife & I have been married for 35yrs & before I met her I had a few relationships that did indeed break my heart at the time. In my humble opinion I feel your too young to tie yourself down like this. More fish in the sea & all that, "but" that's too easy for me or anyone else to say. Bottom line, do you dump her & go to pastures new,or creep around her hoping she'll give the affection you want. The choice is yours.

.

 

[Modette]

She's searching for a reaction,
She sounds attention seeking, make up her mind and call her bluff.
Tell her you think she needs time to find out what she want's, and to call you when and if she's ready.
One of two things will happen,

1, She'll S"£t her self and come running back, (once she realizes you'll just walk)
2, She'll agree with you, split up and couple weeks/months down the line YOU WILL meet someone who will blow her out of the water.


Either way i used to get messed about by women something rotten, get hurt constantly, until one day i woke up and thought screw this, then if women messed me about i'd just tell them straight or just leave.

You walk, fine you get over it and move on,
she wants to leave, ok you get over it and move on,
But it's all the crap in between that will eat you away inside, the not knowing, does she want me? is it something i did? why wont she speak to me? Will we get back together?
F all that tripe cut to the chase, nip it in the bud, it'll go one of two ways, but in them one of two ways it's resolved, or just carry on make yourself badly and drag it out for months and months. . . .

Couldnt have put it better myself

 

[Modette]

Well she is not going to get one,

Told her to text me when she has made up her mind.

The whole feeling lonely thing though, that's a sign of depression is it not?

So she has you and still feels lonely? That tells me that she isnt getting her needs fulfilled and she is beating around the bush trying to get that message across, so rather than saying ' I want to spend more time watching romcoms, holding hands and sharing a bowl of popcorn' she is getting the point across in that manipulative way that only women know that basically translates to 'I love you and want to be with you but I wish you were different'.

The greatest gift we can give someone is to allow them to be exactly who they are, and if that isnt who we want to be with then we will eventually have to face it and decide if we can compromise or walk away - but a lot of people - especially women IMO - will hang in there and try and twist it into what they wish it was......by saying things that only tell you half the story.

 

[volxstu]

What Is this rubish about depression. Yes she may be a bit down but it certainly doesn't sound bad enough to be a complete insensitive arse. You don't tend to loose the very core of your personality until it gets very severe. I mean institutionalised bad.

 

[slugworth1987]

Fire?

 

[306maxi]

Gonna go wash the car, that should cheer me up

And no she was not a minger, she would just never leave me for anyone else, she doesn't want anyone around her at the moment because she just feels unhappy

Cheer up

Whilst I don't disagree with others that she could just be trouble, I would add that women are unimaginably complex little creatures and even if you know them and spend time with them it's hard to know what's going on let alone making a diagnosis over the internet.

I've had a strange few months recently. I'm fairly happily married but as with everything it's not perfect and there are some things I've been wanting both of us to change and I just never felt like things were going to change.

I wasn't looking for anyone to be perfectly honest but there was this girl at work who always made me laugh and who I always got on with and we were talking a lot on Facebook and just having a nice time talking to each other. Anyway, I went away for a couple of days doing some training for work and while I was away we were talking a ridiculous amount on facebook messenger and I just remember sitting in the pub in the hotel I was staying in and thinking "I miss talking to <person's name>" and feeling a bit weird about it. Anyway, I got back and a couple of days later on a Friday night we got to talking and it turned out that we both had feelings for each other.

Anyhoo, to cut a ridiculously long story short this other girl is very very complicated and has lots of issues and things took some rather strange turns. If I was horrible I'd just look at the issues and see only the issues, but she's actually a lovely person deep down but with us both being in long term relationships and with both of us having issues with confidence and trust and so on it was just never going to end well in the short term. We've both agreed to put those feelings away for now as it's for the best. If we were in a position where we could actually be there for each other then perhaps it'd be different.

Different people have had different **** go on in their lives which means that in a situation where most people will be absolutely fine, some others with act like the world is going to end or will just find the worst possible ways of dealing with things. I don't want to go into details, but some really crazy **** has happened over the last few months and the truth has been a lot less exciting and the amount of times I've found myself saying to this girl "Why didn't you just say?!?!?!?!" is crazy.

Sorry for all the waffle, but my point is that just because she's unhappy doesn't mean you should just walk away. None of us are in your shoes and none of us really know what's happened and why she's like this. She might be absolutely nuts or she might just need your love and support as well as a little bit of space.

If it were me I'd sit down and have a chat with her and try to get to the bottom of things, whilst Fiona is right that perhaps she's getting things across in a slightly manipulative manner, it might not be for the reasons you may think. Some people just aren't confident in themselves and don't know how to express themselves so they say things in a strange way or do things that give the opposite impression to what they're actually trying to give.

If I was to give my honest advice I'd stick with it, you've been together for 2 years and it's gotten to you enough that you've posted on a forum so there's obviously something there. Work at it and it could be the best thing you'll ever have or it could fizzle out. You won't know till you try.

 

[Shadeyman]

I always thought a big part of being "happily married" was to not to have feelings for someone else, or to be considering having a relationship with them, no matter how chatty they are on facebook?

I hope you wife doesn't read your post, you'll probabely not be "happily married" for much longer if she does ..

 

[306maxi]

I hope you wife doesn't read your post, you'll probabely not be happily married for much longer if she does ..

Wife is well aware of things and we've worked a lot out over the last few months since she found out Just felt it was important to explain where I was coming from so as to best help the OP.....