I wanted to ask your opinions on this situation.

met a lass in town the other week, been talking and texting all the time, unfortunatly her parents were kiled in a car accident, so she can be vulnerable, she seems to be able to open up to me, rather than her immediate family, tells me everything, and i try to reassure her as best i can.

Anyway we arranged to meet up today and go out, get to know each other, when arrived at meeting point she wasnt there, so foned her up, she said she was on her way.

Waited a bit longer and still no sign, tried foning but fone wouldnt connect, so txtin her as well.

As my grandad lived close by, went there to ring her but that wudnt connect either.

an hour and 20 mins later i decided id been stood up so went off on my own. Foned about 45 mins later after that and got a connection spoke to her, she was dead upset sayin id not been in touch all day and had been to meeting point only to find i wasnt there

she said she hated me, i was real upset so left it for a bit, foned bak and she answered cryin, we managed to sort things out, i asked to see her but she said she had something to tell me, turns out she had taken some pills and vodka and was feeling sick and tired.

i was panickin but managed to keep her talking, tried to get her to go see her brothers, but she said they hit her and was scared of them, as i didnt know her adress myself to ring for an ambulance i tried to get it, but she was all drowsy, she couldnt even remember her name for gods sake!

after a bit there was silence, i was shouting down the fone but response was there none. i put the fone down feeling sick to the stomach, the only thing i could think of was to write a text message explaining the situation so her brothers could see it and knew what was happening.

just received a txt sayin she is off to hospital, i want to go but i feel i will get the **** beaten out of as her brothers threatened me following my ''no-show''

i feel helpless now, and i feel i could have done more

did i do the right thing? was there something i could have done better??

No mate, you did everything you could and probably more than you should. If I was in your position, I would have left after about 15mins and not bothered phoning her again. Sounds a bit harsh but it's not your fault for the way she's feeling and it's not your fault that she took an O/D so you shouldn't have a guilty concience(sp).

no not your fault mate, but would definately keep my distance not meaning to be harse but if something like not meeting make her take an o/d she sounds very unstable mate, if you was to get together and decide to split how far then?

:nutter:

you dont need this crap, best to keep away, tell her when she sorts her head out to phone you

erm hang on... u called her to say you were there... she says shes on her way and neva shows? yet she hates you for not turing up ??

I soo hope u dont have a pet rabbit!!

Reading this thread gives me the feeling of deja vu! I have been out with my fair share of nutters mate so I know how you feel. I that sounds harsh but we don't want you to get hurt, both mentally & physically! It sounds like she's a little insecure ATM, your gut is probably telling you to be supportive & your head is telling you to keep away, I would suggest the latter.

seems a lot to take on though when you hardly know her!?

it seems she has a lot of problems, maybe she could be attention seeking and thats why she took so drastic measures

sammiboo said:

it seems she has a lot of problems, maybe she could be attention seeking and thats why she took so drastic measures

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You seem to have hit the nail on the head there sweety

Mmmmmm...its a toughy, write her a letter telling her you will be there for her if she needs you, and that she needs time to sort things out
but dont go into detail of how its affecting you you as its her who needs the distance and is f****d up in the head at the moment.(obviously dont tell her that bit). And regardless of her brothers being knobs you still have to ask them once in a while how she is even if they dont tell her you have asked.....you will have done the right thing to show you care.
But dont put your life on hold ...... good luck !

I have to agree that you did all you could for this lass and went further than most so well done for doing that. It also seems that you have taken a lot of this to heart but please don't, it's not your fault :hug: It is a very early stage in the relationship for you to try and take on so much though, perhaps she needs a bit of time to find herself before getting involved with someone?

listen to voice of experience here. keep your distance.

i had a relationship with someone under a similar circumstance.all i'll say is bunny boiler and i have some scars(physical & mental) nearly 10 years on.

if it was meant to work out between you then hook up in 6 months when things have calmed down.

Derbychick said:

You seem to have hit the nail on the head there sweety

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One of my "mates" is the same, since i have known her she has told me ....

Been raped three times
her mate a school impailed himself on a non exsistant fence
her boyfriend shot himself
she might have HIV
she's bisexual
she's gay
cuts herself (no evidence)

The list goes on... her dad died from a brain tumour before she left school, it must have been horrible, and i really felt for her, but since then seem to have mentally gone off the rails, it got to the point where i was exhausted by her lies and found it hard to support her for things i KNEW were crap, bit by bit i lost touch woth her for my own sanity

custard boy said:

i had a relationship with someone under a similar circumstance.all i'll say is bunny boiler and i have some scars(physical & mental) nearly 10 years on.

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aww sorry to hear that custard :hug: there there sammis here

It must be very hard having a friendship with someone like that, I wouldn't know what to say. You're a very strong person to have been so supportive.

if she is called karen and comes from bolton, dont think about contacting her (ex girlfriend who was a complete nutter).

Helz said:

It must be very hard having a friendship with someone like that, I wouldn't know what to say. You're a very strong person to have been so supportive.

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thanks, just so disheartening when you know everything that comes out of her mouth is crap and you just cant believe her.

thats why i reckon john should really be careful cos this could drag him down too

I feel like crap, and apparently i am gonna be held responsible if the worst happens

NO you are not! Do not let yourself feel responsible. Stay quiet and they'll lose interest.

AppleSei said:

I feel like crap, and apparently i am gonna be held responsible if the worst happens

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You sure her brothers hit her or whatever, i am convinced she is attention seeking.

John if she is making you feel this way, then she is only thinking of herself, the more you get to know her the worse it will get, trust me, take a step back!

you need to keep your own head together

i take it the lass isnt karen then, as she WAS a nutter (used to take an o/d after ringing for an ambulance, and then blame me for it).

(she had two brothers who apparently hit her).