What's made you grumpy today?

[Most Easterly Pandas]

Gave the bitching neighbour a piece of my mind when she starting bitching about me parking on the road, apparently we've too many cars and a driveway, told her she's got a front garden with a lawn, she could alway park her car on it, but she decides not to, just like we decide to park one car on the road.

All insured, MOTed and Taxed so she can do one - tempted to park the other 4 out there also in such a way there is no parking for anyone else :devil:

 

[dave]

before xmas had a meeting with my dads nurses, doctors, OT, physio, and hospital social worker who said he must go into a nursing home for his own safety, i wasn't happy and tried in vain to convince them other wise as he didn't want to go into one, I'd finally got my head around it then today out of the blue they said oh we cant put him in a home because he says he don't want to go :bang:

 

[PuntoHowTo]

I wasn't happy and tried in vain to convince them other wise as he didn't want to go into one, I'd finally got my head around it then today out of the blue they said oh we cant put him in a home because he says he don't want to go :bang:

It's because it's his choice not yours, contrary to popular belief you (as in the family) don't have a say in things, they might listen to your concerns but at the end of the day where he wants to go is up to him. The problems come when it's found he can't manage at home and he's refused further package of care it makes it very difficult to get him into a home or greater care further down the line

 

[dave]

It's because it's his choice not yours, contrary to popular belief you (as in the family) don't have a say in things, they might listen to your concerns but at the end of the day where he wants to go is up to him. The problems come when it's found he can't manage at home and he's refused further package of care it makes it very difficult to get him into a home or greater care further down the line

you haven't read what i said again! for the past 2 weeks they have said it was their decision and not his and been telling me all the bad things that will happen if he goes home to his own house, now after everyone had got used to the idea they changed their mind. nothing has changed health wise, he still has cognitive memory loss that dr said will not improve so he forgets he cant walk on his own and forgets he has dysphagia!
I asked him what he is going to do about food when he is at home and his reply was get it from Iceland, i said Iceland don't do food for your texture diet, he replied he is going to eat normal food when he gets home

 

[Focus Owner]

my uncle died a few months ago, my aunti rang the hospital and the nurse just lied about how he was, and then refused to tell her; her name

face it nhs is under pressure and cuts **** everything up.
disgruntled workers

 

[ChrisUK]

I'd like to say I didn't see it coming but it was inevitable...

 

[PuntoHowTo]

you haven't read what i said again! for the past 2 weeks they have said it was their decision

I don't need to go back and read anything (I'm not that interested) I mearly commented on your one post where you were banging your head, however it's not the doctors and nurses physios and OTs that are the issue, it was your father who overruled the decisions. So blame your father if it pisses you off.

It doesn't matter what the situation, weather it's his decision, their decision, it's never Your decision, you might be asked if you want to select a nice home but failing that social services will find one anyway.

The facts of the matter are If he has capacity then he can make decisions even if they are bad decisions that might put him at risk.

Go read the whole Mental Capacity Act 2005 and it will explain all, won't change anything though.

sounds like you need to start working with the Doctors and Nurses rather than constantly fighting them, as I said once decisions are made and put into action it's very difficult to change them back

 

[dave]

mca "Who measures capacity?
Any professional can test capacity. This should be the person most directly involved with the issue at hand. For health decisions, this should be the doctor. " in my dads case it was done by a very young social worker who had never seen him before, same one who was in the meeting where it was said the decision was taken out of dads hands.

strange this u-turn comes at the same time all local care homes are on lock down.....

 

[stilo abarth]

popped into machine mart this morning, gave them a part number from there catalogue for some air connector, also bought an air ratchet and some other bits, got to my workshop and then noticed they gave me the wrong connectors, so had to go all the way back to change them :bang:

 

[PuntoHowTo]

mca "Who measures capacity?
Any professional can test capacity. This should be the person most directly involved with the issue at hand. For health decisions, this should be the doctor. " in my dads case it was done by a very young social worker who had never seen him before, same one who was in the meeting where it was said the decision was taken out of dads hands.

This isn't a 'Health Decision' it's a social decision so can be performed by the most directly involved person..... The social worker then. I'm not sure what her age or rather your perception of her age has to do with anything.

I wasn't in meetings and we only have your side of the story, but as I said before it seems you just want to fight every one, clearly you're upset about the situation but your dad is the important person in the middle of this, one minute you don't want him to go into a home next you're angry because they're not going to put him in a home on his wishes, if as you say is true and he can't walk and forgets this, can't swallow but forgets this then he is at considerable risk going home, so why were you so objectionable about him being placed?
And has your objection to this caused him to decide he doesn't want to go into a home and he's pushing back because you did?

You need to start thinking about you dad and working with the services involved because if he's making the wrong decisions being influenced by you and you're just going against everything that's said to you because you're angry, the only one who's is going to suffer in this is your Dad.

 

[dave]

I am not angry this is the grumpy thread not angry thread, i am worried that all the risks they gave me as reasons not to send him home now seem to not matter. no one wants to see their parent go into a care home, but after you have been convinced by the people looking after him for most of 3 months there is no alternative as they need 24hr care and are at great risk if left alone, then got used to that idea, its a great worry to then learn that they will now be sent home with minimum support after a 5 minuet chat with 1 person who has never met him before.

As you consider your self the expert of every thing maybe you can tell me why them risks are no longer there?

 

[portland_bill]

Got a beep and the steering warning light on yesterday. MES says torque sensor invalid signal - fatal.
New top part of column ordered from Western Power Steering, will be here Tuesday. Sadly no time to fit before 3 days away at end of week. Will have to take the school car.
A bit of swearing, a few grazed knuckles and the column is out.

At least it was easier to replace the pollen filter with the column out!

 

[Most Easterly Pandas]

Got a beep and the steering warning light on yesterday. MES says torque sensor invalid signal - fatal.
New top part of column ordered from Western Power Steering, will be here Tuesday. Sadly no time to fit before 3 days away at end of week. Will have to take the school car.
A bit of swearing, a few grazed knuckles and the column is out.

At least it was easier to replace the pollen filter with the column out!

Did you check the battery before hand

My grump - opened my mouth and told mum I've found her next car for her as a joke (another Yaris), she's now insistent we go and test drive it tomorrow, so no lay in for me as its 90min down the road and I've too much to do tomorrow already

 

[portland_bill]

Did you check the battery before hand

Yes, did that. Battery only just over a year old, charging at 14.1v. Checked through it with MES, fault code said torque sensor. When it threw the fault, steering went light for a few minutes until it settled and the light went out, then did it again a short while later. When testing with MES, intermittently showed fault, but battery voltage remained stable, so no easy cheap fix.

Travelling to Hopton-on-Sea on Thu, 184 miles. Not willing to risk a breakdown en-route and spoiling the holiday, so have to use the Fiesta.:yuck:

 

[puntofan01]

Yes, did that. Battery only just over a year old, charging at 14.1v. Checked through it with MES, fault code said torque sensor. When it threw the fault, steering went light for a few minutes until it settled and the light went out, then did it again a short while later. When testing with MES, intermittently showed fault, but battery voltage remained stable, so no easy cheap fix.

Travelling to Hopton-on-Sea on Thu, 184 miles. Not willing to risk a breakdown en-route and spoiling the holiday, so have to use the Fiesta.:yuck:

Fords: motoring hell!

 

[PuntoHowTo]

will now be sent home with minimum support after a 5 minuet chat with 1 person who has never met him before.

As you consider your self the expert of every thing maybe you can tell me why them risks are no longer there?

If he has capacity and he has refused a care home then they have no choice, it doesn't mean the risks aren't there any more it just means they will have to try and manage them as best they can, probably offer a top package of care (double up, 4 times a day) and put in place anything else they can to help like meals on wheels (from what ever company covers his area) personal alarm etc

It sounds to me like you, as a family need to talk to him and convince him a home would be better, especially as he's had falls before if he fell at 9pm after athe last carers visit, he could have to wait 10 hours on a cold hard floor till 7am before anyone arrives to help on the morning visit. The worst scenario here is the risk of aspiration pneumonia from eating something he can't swallow and food or drink ending up in his lungs.


It doesn't matter if the social worker has met him in the last 30 seconds or known him a lifetime if he says no he's refused and there is nothing they can do
Capacity isn't a black and white subject either, which is why it's covered in an absolutely huge act which only came into force in 2008 (Mental Capacity Act 2005) he can be shown to lack capacity in that, he might not know what day of the week it is, or can't make a decision about his finances for example, but that doesn't mean he can't choose to prefer to go home.
The most extreme example of this was the case of Kerrie Wooltorton who's attempted suicide and refused medical treatment, although she was deemed to be influenced by her sever mental health issues, it was shown that she understood fully the situation and had the capacity to refuse medical treatment even though the outcome of this was death (she drank a lot of antifreeze)

Stop fighting the hospital, doctors nurses etc and start fighting for what's best for your dad and remember it's his life and his care so you need to have him on board and involved in the decisions.

You can complain all you like to the hospital but if you father is happy your complaints will fall on deaf ears.

 

[PuntoHowTo]

Travelling to Hopton-on-Sea on Thu, 184 miles. Not willing to risk a breakdown en-route and spoiling the holiday, so have to use the Fiesta.:yuck:

You'll be driving virtually past me and parking up next to Most Easterly Pandas

my brother won a holiday in Hopton when I was a kid, in a table tennis competition, was great fun..... Though I was about 7-8 at the time so anything like that was fun

 

[portland_bill]

You'll be driving virtually past me and parking up next to Most Easterly Pandas

Going to Potters resort to watch the indoor bowls. An intensive 3 days of eating, sleeping and watching bowls. Wave if you see an AA Driving School Fiesta in silver (one of hundreds), L-plates covered, GC14AKP. Or just head across the white line at me to get my attention.

 

[StevenRB45]

Had a productive day planned while the OH was out, however everything I planned to do needs water not the be falling from the sky and it's pissing down.

 

[dave]

If he has capacity and he has refused a care home then they have no choice, it doesn't mean the risks aren't there any more it just means they will have to try and manage them as best they can, probably offer a top package of care (double up, 4 times a day) and put in place anything else they can to help like meals on wheels (from what ever company covers his area) personal alarm etc

It sounds to me like you, as a family need to talk to him and convince him a home would be better, especially as he's had falls before if he fell at 9pm after athe last carers visit, he could have to wait 10 hours on a cold hard floor till 7am before anyone arrives to help on the morning visit. The worst scenario here is the risk of aspiration pneumonia from eating something he can't swallow and food or drink ending up in his lungs.


It doesn't matter if the social worker has met him in the last 30 seconds or known him a lifetime if he says no he's refused and there is nothing they can do
Capacity isn't a black and white subject either, which is why it's covered in an absolutely huge act which only came into force in 2008 (Mental Capacity Act 2005) he can be shown to lack capacity in that, he might not know what day of the week it is, or can't make a decision about his finances for example, but that doesn't mean he can't choose to prefer to go home.
The most extreme example of this was the case of Kerrie Wooltorton who's attempted suicide and refused medical treatment, although she was deemed to be influenced by her sever mental health issues, it was shown that she understood fully the situation and had the capacity to refuse medical treatment even though the outcome of this was death (she drank a lot of antifreeze)

Stop fighting the hospital, doctors nurses etc and start fighting for what's best for your dad and remember it's his life and his care so you need to have him on board and involved in the decisions.

You can complain all you like to the hospital but if you father is happy your complaints will fall on deaf ears.

he was already on 4 visits a day from re-enablement care team and had a button alarm but still ended up on the floor all night, a friend who works in council social services and knows our family well has suggested asking for a full mental health assessment at a place called the kings wood centre to make sure he understands the risks. I know that the same mca for health cant be used for finances.

my gripe with the staff is because at no time since they said he would go into a home did they say that if he says no he wont go. thats 2 weeks we could have been doing things to his house to make it safer.