A quickie

[patrick]

Bill walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to a blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV.
The 10:00 nightly news was just beginning.
The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. Bill turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't.
Bill placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to Bill and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."
Bill replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too . . but I didn't think he'd do it again


*What we got here, is a failure to communicate*

 

[patrick]

And another

Paddy, the famous drunken Irishman, is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.


He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.


Moments later, he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop.


The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing. Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid-sentence and says, "Fer Christ sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"


*What we got here, is a failure to communicate*