The Stella Awards

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The Stella Awards

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Stella Awards

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the US. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.


Here are the Stellas for the past year:

* SEVENTH PLACE *

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!


* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more....


* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

Double hand scratching after this one...

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tail bone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....


*SECOND PLACE *

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.


OK... Here we go!!


* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph, and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her -- are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.


Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...
or are more members of Congress serving on juries these days?
 
and they call themselves a superpower. I wonder if the old Empire was any thicker.

Even so, the urban myths are a good read.
 
What worried me about that list, was that with the exception of the first place winner all of those people had "Anglo" sounding names. No Greeks, or Arabs, or Mexicans, or Germans, or Jews or, well, anything except "Anglos".

Perhaps the Old Empire really was just as stupid. After all, we did try to regain one of the largest countries in the world while simultaneously trying to fight a war against among the most powerful. We lost America, but we did beat the French in 1812.
 
It was the first time I had ever seen any of it and urban legend or not, having visited America many times and met many Americans, it highlights the mentality and level of intelligence among some of them and came across as believable - even if it isnt true.

Over the years, I have been asked if London is a country near England, if all the roads are paved with cobble stones, how we cope with the thick smog everywhere, one of them even told me that Americans invented Pizza.

The amount of times I have heard 'Cheerio', 'Toodloo' and 'Tally Ho' from people who think thats how we speak here - and lets not forget the one last year who asked me if I had come over on Concord and if we have broadband here yet.

I usually tell them that we are doing remarkably well for a third world country, many of us even have fresh running water and electricity in our homes.....
 
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What's even better is they think we scots have nae electric lighting or are all groundskeeper willie clones.

As for Pizza, it was invented in Italy as we know but apparently it was orignally peasant food to them. What a world we live in.
 
A little research reveals there was no Grazinski v Winnebago.

I momentarily lapsed into a fantasy about beating the deputy chief constable about the head with a cricket bat. He claims the force is now a top performer – despite year-on-year evidence from Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary. `That reports out-of-date – we’ve improved since then.’

I’d have to claim a tuition fee for re-educating him - & of course a new cricket bat. On the negative side a PCSO would have a word with my mam.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth – one has more chance of being assaulted by two blue-coats, prior to being arrested for assaulting them.
 
It was the first time I had ever seen any of it and urban legend or not, having visited America many times and met many Americans, it highlights the mentality and level of intelligence among some of them and came across as believable - even if it isnt true.

Over the years, I have been asked if London is a country near England, if all the roads are paved with cobble stones, how we cope with the thick smog everywhere, one of them even told me that Americans invented Pizza.

The amount of times I have heard 'Cheerio', 'Toodloo' and 'Tally Ho' from people who think thats how we speak here - and lets not forget the one last year who asked me if I had come over on Concord and if we have broadband here yet.

I usually tell them that we are doing remarkably well for a third world country, many of us even have fresh running water and electricity in our homes.....

You forgot to say how many times you have been asked if you know John Smith or Dave :devil:
 
... I have been asked if London is a country near England ...

I did a postgrad award at Cardiff Uni in the 90s - but travelled back to my place in the EMids for the week-ends. On hearing this, someone asked if I could drop-off Phil - as he lived somewhere that way. Phil lived in the NWest. To be fair, it was a joke - I think.

.
 
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