I think this still could be the relay wiring or the stalk..remember the relay has a main circuit, and a control circuit. it sounds as if the main side is ok.. but check your control circuit side ie: the small wiring, one side of the solenoid coil should be earthed and the other should be live when asked to operate. If the earthing is good, then it sounds like the stalk isn't sending the relay a 12+ve control signal.
Having said that I'm not familiar with the circuit, but bear in mind.
The relay control circuit could be constantly live, with the stalk providing the return earth.
Or the relay control circuit could be constanlty earthed, with the stalk providing the live.
Hope that helps..John.