this could go in either smile or grumpy threads, but given the length of fail, it's maybe best it goes here in its own thread, tonight i have been to. perhaps the worst ever housewarming.....ever known to man.....ever......................ever :laugh:
was invited to the housewarming of a girl i worked with, so headed off to her new house (around 3 and a half miles from mine) by taxi, i got in, gave him the address and he said, ok, then proceeded to set off in the wrong direction :laugh: i thought it must be roadworks, but 2 streets later it became clear he was getting a bit lost, i asked him abut his directional failing and he admitted he didnt have a clue where the place was, and if i wouldn't mind directing him there, wtf?, i went along with it, ended up arriving 10 minutes late...but at least i got the fare half price, so i accepted that :laugh:
so i go up to her front door, ring the bell and the door gets answered by another guest, we say hello's, i go in, another ex colleague spots me, comes over to say hi but gets bumped into, leading virtualy a full pints worth of beer to end up going down my trousers.... great, so now not only have i arrived late, i now look like i've pished myself :laugh: worse than that though, a nice rug in the hall and 2 coats got covered too.
so.... i go to see the hostess and leave the bottles i brought in the kitchen, after explaining to her that i hadn't pished myself, i glance over her shoulder towards her conservatory and spot a plant pot with flames coming out it :laugh: someone had clearly been smoking and disposed of the end in the pot, boof. so we get that put out with a mixture of orange juice and water :laugh: im now also smelling of smoke aswell as having a suspicious yellow brown patch on my breeks...*sigh*
THEN....theres the sound of a breaking glass in the living room and then raised voices, a couple there started arguing about an alleged affair....so we run through to see what the fuss is about
about 15 guests there, 14 of them were dressed fairly casually....the other one must have thought it was fancy dress...or at least i hope he did as he had on a turkey costume...how apt
anwyay, as tempers flared, half the snacks ended up on the floor. they then got neatly trampled into the carpet as a wee scuffle broke out, causing a glass of wine to go over the nice clean, cream coloured setee, causing not only another stain, but a glass on the floor...which then got stood on......and shattered......
THEN.. another couple started arguing, as folk tried to calm it down, i think the party spirit was struggling to emerge, so i went and consoled the turkey, cowered in the corner planning my escape, as soon as it settled a wee bit, i went and saw the host...who was a mix of hugely pissed off, terrified, upset, offered to help clean the mess up...and it all kicked off again. so the few people who wern't involved agreed it would be best if we left folk to it and left....we'd only been there 90 minutes :laugh:
so we got a taxi, the driver knew where he was going this time, and went into town...but still soaked by the beer and reeking of the plantpot debacle, i just came home to dry off, have a shower and expalin once again that i had not pished myself.
i blame the turkey.
feel sorry for the girl who's party it was, but i suppose at least it was memorable...
so yeah, welcome to the new house and all that jazz, consider it warmed :laugh:
was invited to the housewarming of a girl i worked with, so headed off to her new house (around 3 and a half miles from mine) by taxi, i got in, gave him the address and he said, ok, then proceeded to set off in the wrong direction :laugh: i thought it must be roadworks, but 2 streets later it became clear he was getting a bit lost, i asked him abut his directional failing and he admitted he didnt have a clue where the place was, and if i wouldn't mind directing him there, wtf?, i went along with it, ended up arriving 10 minutes late...but at least i got the fare half price, so i accepted that :laugh:
so i go up to her front door, ring the bell and the door gets answered by another guest, we say hello's, i go in, another ex colleague spots me, comes over to say hi but gets bumped into, leading virtualy a full pints worth of beer to end up going down my trousers.... great, so now not only have i arrived late, i now look like i've pished myself :laugh: worse than that though, a nice rug in the hall and 2 coats got covered too.
so.... i go to see the hostess and leave the bottles i brought in the kitchen, after explaining to her that i hadn't pished myself, i glance over her shoulder towards her conservatory and spot a plant pot with flames coming out it :laugh: someone had clearly been smoking and disposed of the end in the pot, boof. so we get that put out with a mixture of orange juice and water :laugh: im now also smelling of smoke aswell as having a suspicious yellow brown patch on my breeks...*sigh*
THEN....theres the sound of a breaking glass in the living room and then raised voices, a couple there started arguing about an alleged affair....so we run through to see what the fuss is about
about 15 guests there, 14 of them were dressed fairly casually....the other one must have thought it was fancy dress...or at least i hope he did as he had on a turkey costume...how apt
anwyay, as tempers flared, half the snacks ended up on the floor. they then got neatly trampled into the carpet as a wee scuffle broke out, causing a glass of wine to go over the nice clean, cream coloured setee, causing not only another stain, but a glass on the floor...which then got stood on......and shattered......
THEN.. another couple started arguing, as folk tried to calm it down, i think the party spirit was struggling to emerge, so i went and consoled the turkey, cowered in the corner planning my escape, as soon as it settled a wee bit, i went and saw the host...who was a mix of hugely pissed off, terrified, upset, offered to help clean the mess up...and it all kicked off again. so the few people who wern't involved agreed it would be best if we left folk to it and left....we'd only been there 90 minutes :laugh:
so we got a taxi, the driver knew where he was going this time, and went into town...but still soaked by the beer and reeking of the plantpot debacle, i just came home to dry off, have a shower and expalin once again that i had not pished myself.
i blame the turkey.
feel sorry for the girl who's party it was, but i suppose at least it was memorable...
so yeah, welcome to the new house and all that jazz, consider it warmed :laugh:
missed it
