Gotta be something in here to upset someone!
Essex couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for f*ck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
*****
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f*cking listening'
*****
They have found Elizabeth Fritzi's diary, (Girl in the cellar).
Monday...stayed in, dad came down and f*cked me
Tuesday...got f*cked by dad
Wednesday...stayed in, dad f*cked me
Thursday...stayed in, got f*cked by dad.
Friday...stayed in, dad f*cked me.
Saturday... Went to see West Ham play football, wish I had stayed in.
*****
I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.
I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f*cks off.
*****
A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
*****
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you f*cker'.
He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'F*ck off it'll be too painful',
Now who's laughing!
Essex couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for f*ck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
*****
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f*cking listening'
*****
They have found Elizabeth Fritzi's diary, (Girl in the cellar).
Monday...stayed in, dad came down and f*cked me
Tuesday...got f*cked by dad
Wednesday...stayed in, dad f*cked me
Thursday...stayed in, got f*cked by dad.
Friday...stayed in, dad f*cked me.
Saturday... Went to see West Ham play football, wish I had stayed in.
*****
I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.
I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f*cks off.
*****
A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
*****
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you f*cker'.
He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'F*ck off it'll be too painful',
Now who's laughing!