Joking Around
One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I think I'll
go and see my Doctor!” His friend immediately replied, “Don't do that.
There's a new computer at Boots that can diagnose anything quicker and
cheaper than your doctor.
All you do is put in a sample of your **** and the computer will diagnose
your problem and tell you what to do.” Pete, figuring that he had nothing
to lose, filled a jar with his ****, went to Boots where he found the
computer and deposited his sample and the computer started making a few
noises and some lights started to flash. After a brief pause, out popped a
small piece of paper which read: YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, SOAK YOUR ARM IN WATER THREE
TIMES A DAY FOR AN HOUR. AVOID HEAVY WORK. YOUR ELBOW WILL GET BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was and
how it could change the world of medicine forever, he began to wonder if the
computer could be fooled. He decided to try. He mixed together some tap
water, engine oil from his car, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and, at the last minute, masturbated into the
concoction. He went back to Boots, deposited the sample and paid his money.
After the noises and lights, out popped a piece of paper which read:
YOUR TAP WATER IS HARD, GET A SOFTENER. THE VALVES ON YOUR ENGINE ARE F*CKED,GET IT TO A GARAGE. YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GET HIM TO A VET. YOUR DAUGHTER IS HOOKED ON COCAINE, GET HER TO REHAB. YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS, GET A LAWYER. AND IF YOU DON'T STOP WANKING, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER.
