Hilarious engineering, i don't think!

[mrcinquecento]

tomorrow will be the fourth day in a row i'll have been working on a friends 2003 renault clio, it is, without doubt the most hateful pile of utter s*** i've ever had the misfortune of laying a spanner on.

Nothing that ever needs done is accsesible without taking half the engine bay apart, thats not even the main problem. the quality of the materials used is pathetic by 1972 british leyland standards, let alone post millenium european standards.

I'm guessing this is roughly when they started taking the crash test seriously given the amount of metal in places you wouldnt expect it to be.

Wires, Wires and some more wires all over the engine bay, complete mess, almost every earth has corroded, to the point of the first job was to repair headlights that flashed like indicators, brake lights that only worked if the headlights were on (no use as they were extra indicators) reverse lights that lit up the rear foglight as well and rather interestingly, some electric windows that opened if you turned the stereo on. all sorted after 3 hours of work.

problem 2, a power steering pump decided it had given up at 57k miles, another 3 hours, a bleeding knuckle and a couple of mouthfulls of metal later, the car steered with girly light, twirly steering accuracy again.

problem 3, the seat was flapping about on its mountings, bolts sheered, another hour of my life, wasted on a french fry.

problem 4. hydraulic telescopic rams on the boot failed spectacularly, boot opened at 100mph, arms came out of the telescopic bit and the bootlid came down on my friends head. 10 minute fix, not really worth a mention except for the fact it was funny, and the bump on the back of the head, simply spectacular!

problem 5, flexi brake hose burst, think that took me 40 minutes to fix.

problem 6, the most alarming fault, split in the fuel line, fuel squirting over and getting dangerously close to some seriously hot bits of exhaust! , i only spotted this whilst tring to find a knocking noise when the engine was given some revs!!! all the more scary considering the car in question is used to carry a 3 year old girl about regularly, im so glad i did spot that, that was mega dangerous. another hours repair.

problem 7, full blown argument with friends dad who bought the car. i'm apparently now an ignorant, arrogant p***, for calling his inspired purchase "a dangerous pile of s***". best thing was he got it for the crash test rating, which was feck all important if the car burst into flames before it got near to hitting anything. after 5 minutes of a temper tantrum by him he about burst into flames when he said his friend inspected it, and it looked okay to him too at the time....maybe on reflection calling him stevie wonder and his friend ray charles was a bit harsh in the heat of the moment. but i think it was a relevant point well made seeing as the car is obviously a bit rough round the edges to even the most untrained eye, and underneath, its a hundred times worse! if he's happy sending his daughter and granddaughter around in what is essentialy a deathtrap, then i have to question his sanity and eyesight. i did however suggest next time he went to look at a car, he too both a mechanic and his guide dog

problem 8, and the one im working on tomorrow, the key has snapped in the ignition barrel rendering the car immobile:surprised:

good thing if you ask me

after 3 weeks of narrowly avoiding death, that car is to be punted for something vaguely safer i think, it's obviously so bad, stevie wonder and ray charles are both agreeing and have agreed to pay any difference within reason after that ones traded in

the moral of the story? french fries (both the variety you eat and the variety you drive) may be cheap, may look good, and seem tasty, but also can be very bad for your health!

who says i don't provide a public service

 

[Marti155]

Hilarious engineering, I dont think so

Ha ha like it and I AGREE 100% about the french cars. I would suggest that you dont bother fixing the snapped key in the ignition barrel. Do the the owner a favor and call the scrap man. and use the money you gt forthe car to buy a bus pass even with the way our public transport is it has to be safer and more reliable that a clio

 

[M21MFS]

Well written, and as usual quite objective

I've had two french cars, hated both of them from the off. The most dissapointing bit for me was that I'd always had a soft spot for the 306, mine was an utter dissapointment from start to finish. Problematic electrics, check. Door locks were out of sync but would SOMETIMES work. Handy when you've finished a gig and have parked in town on the way home for something to eat...

The 106 I bought, however, is a different story all together. This thing looked mint, bodywork was spot on but underneath...TWO sections of the exhaust were held together with gun gum. Clamps had all but dissapeared, so instead of replacing em GG was employed. The front break caliper was missing the retaining pin, meaning anytime you applied the break the whole assembly was free to move (and did) the best bit was the time it died on me just round the corner from work. Smoke starts pouring out from under the bonnet - turns out the starter had been wired with normal DOMESTIC two core cable (like the stuff TV's used to be wired with) this had melted through and shorted.

I am never ever EVER buying french again.

 

[Eklipze3k]

And my mum wonders why I'm desperate for her to get rid of the goona :surprised:

 

[steve119]

I think your first mistake was to try and fix it in the first place because of all of the faults described above! If that car did kill someone, I couldn't have that on my conscience, but then again you know waaay more about cars than i do mate!

 

[mrcinquecento]

i didn't know about any of the faults bar the problem earths, i found all the rest after looking over the car, its an absolute deathtrap, im just glad i spotted the problems i did

i would have blamed myself if something had happened and i didn't spot the really dangerous problems, but thankfully i did!

Stevie wonder spoke to me again today an appologised for his behaviour, and told me not to bother fixing the ignition barrel as ray charles was going to trailor the car away because they agree it's in no way safe. there on the lookout for a new one, and have promised they will get someone who knows what the hell they are doing to go along with them!

i have my suspicions that cars covered ALOT more miles than the speedo says it has, and i nearly had to sit down when he told me how much he had paid for it!!

talk about ripped off

 

[muppet42]

I'm amazed at the number of faults on the car and indeed your description of how the persons involved in buying it actually thought it was alright. I reckon you could be right about the mileage as well if the long list of issues you gave is anything to go by

That said, my mate's Pug 106 has just passed 120k and it's a ten year old car. The chassis's solid and it takes dog's abuse on a daily basis, unless he's on an "economy run".

I think basically that not all cars are the same. To paint them all with the same brush as in "all French cars are rubbish" is like saying "all Italian cars are rubbish". Some will be, some won't be, it can all be decided on a myriad of circumstances. I think the car you've described was a complete death trap of course, I can only imagine what the previous owner or indeed dealers put it through to get it to that state :thumb_down:

Hopefully they'll buy more wisely next time. That or they'll be knocking on your door again

 

[mrcinquecento]

I'm amazed at the number of faults on the car and indeed your description of how the persons involved in buying it actually thought it was alright. I reckon you could be right about the mileage as well if the long list of issues you gave is anything to go by

That said, my mate's Pug 106 has just passed 120k and it's a ten year old car. The chassis's solid and it takes dog's abuse on a daily basis, unless he's on an "economy run".

I think basically that not all cars are the same. To paint them all with the same brush as in "all French cars are rubbish" is like saying "all Italian cars are rubbish". Some will be, some won't be, it can all be decided on a myriad of circumstances. I think the car you've described was a complete death trap of course, I can only imagine what the previous owner or indeed dealers put it through to get it to that state :thumb_down:

Hopefully they'll buy more wisely next time. That or they'll be knocking on your door again

yeah, my exact words to him were im pretty sure the odometer is missing a 1 perhaps even a 2 from in front of the 57odd k miles, there was no way that car had done that mileage imo, things like steering locks, ignition barrels, power steering pumps don't all break at once and seats tend not to come off the floor on 2003 57k cars!!!!

Personally, i think its been used as a courier vehicle and thrashed over a high mileage to within an inch of its life, then sold as a newish car thats got a lowish mileage :nutter: i certainly didn't need to call out poirot and frost to see something was amiss! so when two of them went looking at the car, why didn't they?, theres plenty clues kicking about. i do feel bad for them because i know they've been royally ripped off and have no comeback at all :thumb_down:

my first instinct on seeing it and getting into the problems were it had been wrapped around a tree at some point and poorly repaired, given the seat and electical issues, but a look over the underside and there was no sign of anything bent or out of place, just alot of seriously tired components and a bad engine bay design really!

my aunt had a 205, that was actually a fantastic little car. went on and on, and best of all, if something did break, it all pulled apart like lego and could be fixed really easily and cheaply. did i think 180k miles and was still spotless outside and underneath before it was traded in against a 106, you do get good ones, no denying it, but ive never seen any renault in particular stand up to age or mileage too well tbh

god i hope they don't call on me again!! not only will it mean i'll be ran off my feet, it will mean they've obviously not located specsavers yet

 

[muppet42]

Think my sister's Ka is a bit like that, though it's worn the miles well. The clock on that only shows **,*** miles and it was sitting at 54k when we picked it up for a little over £600. I've driven a few Ka's and they were all tight as a drum and drove great, this one felt loose, but not so loose it was worth walking away from. Good bit of rust as it's over 10 years old, but surprisingly didn't need much doing when she put it in the garage. Hopefully it'll serve her another year or so before she gets rid.

It's easy enough to clock cars even if it is an LCD odometer anyway, so wouldn't surprise me. Guess they'll be extra cautious this time around, hopefully and not give you a shout

Driven a few French cars and the Clio, well, drove a T-plate one and I have to admit it was pretty awful. Terrible interior, the brakes were rather snappy and the clutch had a tiny biting point. It was a rental though, so those last 2 points could've been deciding factors. A mate had a 52-plate Clio from new and did a good 60k till he traded it in (for an Lexus IS220d :eek . Only had a few minor electrical issues with the Renault, so was fairly reliable.

Have actually considered a 182 in my long list of possibles, but if I was in the market for one, I'd probably veer off and get a Civic Type R

Guess the main problem with most modern cars is the ever increasing amount of electrics. I know they've always been an issue on the Stilo but apart from a few minor phantom engine warning lights before I uprated my battery, all's been well. So far

 

[mrcinquecento]

if anyone claims the 1.1 citroen c2 is a good car, i will shoot them on site

i topped it out on a dual carriageway at 65mph, foot flat to the floor in 4th, 5th gear was so long it didnt accelerate any and just slowed, this one had only done 28k miles

the interior rattled and creaked and was made from a dustbin, the clutch had a horrible sharp, snappy action, the brakes had 2 settings, fully on and off, and the steering had about as much feel and accuracy as a drunk falling down some stairs.

it also kept giving loads of annoying beeps for no reason.

ive read about the ka's odometer somewhere before, as its based on the mid 90's fiesta, its got its dials. shows how long they expected them to live before rust killed them long before it hit 100k! thing was if you got a rough looking fiesta that was around the 50k mark, you didnt know if it was age, or it had actually done 150k, such a silly oversight on fords case, i can guarantee hundreds of buyers were caught out by that!

 

[muppet42]

if anyone claims the 1.1 citroen c2 is a good car, i will shoot them on site

i topped it out on a dual carriageway at 65mph, foot flat to the floor in 4th, 5th gear was so long it didnt accelerate any and just slowed, this one had only done 28k miles

the interior rattled and creaked and was made from a dustbin, the clutch had a horrible sharp, snappy action, the brakes had 2 settings, fully on and off, and the steering had about as much feel and accuracy as a drunk falling down some stairs.

it also kept giving loads of annoying beeps for no reason.

ive read about the ka's odometer somewhere before, as its based on the mid 90's fiesta, its got its dials. shows how long they expected them to live before rust killed them long before it hit 100k! thing was if you got a rough looking fiesta that was around the 50k mark, you didnt know if it was age, or it had actually done 150k, such a silly oversight on fords case, i can guarantee hundreds of buyers were caught out by that!

That C2 will be all the safety guff weighing it down. Drove a 1.1 Saxo and it was a blast, most direct steering I've used probably and the grip was brilliant. Wasn't hugely fast, though had it at some miles per hour on the motorway and didn't have any issues in overtakes. I mean, the Saxo and equivalent 106 weigh about 800kg, I'm guessing the C2 is at least 100kgs heavier, so that'll be what makes the difference. That and probably extra electrics ruining the feedback through the controls.

I once drove a K-plate Fiesta of my mate's, again a 1.1 and it was horrendous. It felt like I was driving a skip...a ridiculously heavy feeling pile of metal lurching from corner to corner with what felt like no brakes. My sis' Ka isn't anywhere near as bad as that, which was why I didn't stop her from buying it, though I did voice some concerns. It was her money though and she liked it. Plus as I say, she's only looking for a year or 2's motoring out of it as it's her first car after passing her test.

I find though that much of the pain in owning a car is when something goes wrong with it and seemingly that something wrong is becoming more often than not the electrics. I do feel that material quality is going down hill somewhat. I mean, I was shocked when I saw the state of my suspension when I changed it and the nightmare I had with the bolts. I could understand if I'd done intergalactic mileage, but even now I haven't passed 39k and it's a 6 year old car

Oh well, the fun that motors bring.