SpongeBobSquareCar
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Sex was invented in 1972 by Terry Wogan, when he began to notice a decline in Britain's population.
The British classic - Horse Radish Sauce - does actually contain horse!! - amazing!
Robin Hood had a large collection of Butterflies, over 250.
The only qualification you need to work for the Royal family is, bizzarely, the abilty to spin plates.
The worst crime a person can commit in Wales is a spelling mistake. Chris Jolly, who spelt the word 'picture' as 'pictuar', is still serving his triple life sentence.
The Queen's feet are so small and oddly shapen that she is often sighted wearing cups for shoes.
Shapes with more than 4 sides are banned in Scotland.
British Prime Minister Chris Eubank banned the fun sport of Child Hunting way back in 2002. However, thanks to a loophole, Britain's upper classes can still enjoy the sport - by dressing foxes up as toddlers, and chasing them round the countryside.
In Britain there are over 50 mediums, nobody knows how many rares, medium rares or well dones there are though.
Britain is run by a monarchy, and you can often see Batman and Robin on the balcony outside Buckingham Palace.
Contrary to popular believe, Britains do not like tea. They prefer R. Or sometimes O.
Welsh is exactly the same language as English, only spoken backwards.
Norwegian Guinea-Pigs can urinate for up to seventeen minutes.
Goats cannot see candles.
Britain gained independance from the Isle of Man in 2001.
If u rub an onion on the heel of your foot you'll taste it an hour later!
Folklaw depicts that at the end of every rainbow there is a pot of gold. This was proved untrue in 1993 when the pot was discovered to contain toilet roll.
Back in the day, all dogs had to wear a moustache if visiting the queen.
Once fully grown, an adult male is exactly twice the height he was at birth.
Human beings were once thought to have inhabited Milton Keynes.
To calm down an unruly child - simply place a warm spoon on it's nose.
Every 4 minutes, someone in the world dies of custard inhalation.
The humble bic biro draws 13 beards, 9 devil moustaches and 49 penises on newspapers in it's lifetime.
All smoking is banned near a bonfire.
Britain is open 9 to 5, Mondays to Fridays.
In Britain, on November 5th, we celebrate the minutes-old tradtion of Gay Fox Night.
Every April 12th all British children are given a walnut.
The first king of England was Kelvin the Undoer.
London is precisely the same distance from Scotland and Reading.
The English Channel is named after Sir Edmund Channel, who discovered it in 1973
Yorkshire was invented by Queen Victoria.
Cows are banned after 8pm
The word 'Royal' stems from the first ever royalist, Roy Al Nesbitt, born in Sidcup in 1809.
