Funny....................................:)

[patrick]

Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy bacon,life-giving juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!"

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets. His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his last breath Pepe calls out, "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a bacon tree, ees a ham bush!!"

 

[patrick]

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

[blackbravo]

http://www.taunus.at/fordtaunus_es.html

i know its but well made

 

[Anonymous]

A young boy and his mother who are out shopping at the supermarket get separated so the boy goes off to find someone to help.
The cashier says to him: "Ahh, have you lost your Mum?"
"Yeah," says the boy
"What's she like?" says the cashier
"Vodka and big c0cks."

 

[Anonymous]

At the Pharmacy

Woman: Can I get Viagra here?

Pharmacist: Yes.

Woman: Can I get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can.

Daz

 

[Pete]

Who watched Jack Dee, then?

 

[Anonymous]

Heh! Spotted!
Was brilliant though, good way to finish the series

 

[mathew]

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

 

[cynic-al]

thats not funny, i'm an engineer

True about electrical engineers though

 

[JayB]

A new apprentice starts work in a general store.. the boss tells him "Son, If you wanna do well in this business, you always gotta sell something extra".
"How do you mean?" asks the boy..
so the boss gives a demo with the next customer.

Customer: "Can i have some grass seed?"

Boss: "Now do you want the normal grass seed or the Super Grass seed?"

Customer: "Ooh, il take the Super grass seed"

Boss: "Would you like a lawnmower with that"

Customer: "ok then..."


The boss turns to the boy and tells him to try with the next customer.. Customer 2 walks in...

Customer 2: "can i have some tampons.."

Boy: "would you like a lawnmower with that?"

Customer 2: "why would i want a lawnmower??"

Boy: "Well your weekends fukd, you might as well mow the lawn..."

 

[Anonymous]

Now that was funny

Daz