G
Ghengis Khan
Guest
>In Honor of Stupid People
>In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
>
>
>
>On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
>(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>
>
>On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>Details inside.
>(the shoplifter special)?
>
>
>
>
>
>On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>(and that would be how???....)
>
>
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
>down."
>(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>
>
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
>
>(...and you thought????...)
>
>
>
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
>(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
>
>
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
>machinery after taking this medication."
>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
>could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>
>
>
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>(and...I'm taking this because???....)
>
>
>
>
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
>(as opposed to...what)?
>
>
>
>
>On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
>
>
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
>(talk about a news flash)
>
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
>eat nuts."
>(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>
>
>
>On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
>enable you to fly."
>(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>
>
>
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
>or genitals."
>(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Ghengis Khan, www.babarmalik.com
>In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
>
>
>
>On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
>(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>
>
>On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>Details inside.
>(the shoplifter special)?
>
>
>
>
>
>On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>(and that would be how???....)
>
>
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
>down."
>(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>
>
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
heating."
>
>(...and you thought????...)
>
>
>
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
>(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
>
>
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
>machinery after taking this medication."
>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
>could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>
>
>
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>(and...I'm taking this because???....)
>
>
>
>
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
>(as opposed to...what)?
>
>
>
>
>On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
>
>
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
>(talk about a news flash)
>
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
>eat nuts."
>(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>
>
>
>On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
>enable you to fly."
>(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>
>
>
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
>or genitals."
>(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Ghengis Khan, www.babarmalik.com