Register Login
The UK's No.1 Chrysler Owners Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 13-10-2006   #1
Status: DEFCON Grumpy
 
custard's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 30,125
Thanks: 494
Trader Rating: 1
custard has donated!
United Kingdom 
one for you southern nancys

The average Englishman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En-route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.

He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
custard is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #2
Barney, Dennis & Larry
 
Dobby's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Gornal
Posts: 433
Thanks: 5
Trader Rating: 0
Dobby has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

dunno bout him but i wouldn't mind a gun right now
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides

Dobby is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #3
Funny saying here
 
jamie86's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Near Bath
Posts: 6,130
Thanks: 24
Trader Rating: 1
jamie86 has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Yeah I agree those scots get everywhere
__________________
Quote Originally Posted by A wise person
Mini invented the giant killer, VW started the genre, Ford & Vauxhall Desecrated it, but the Peugeot 205 GTi was undoubtedly the king of the breed.
jamie86 is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #4
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cannock, Staffs
Posts: 475
Thanks: 4
Trader Rating: 2
MATT 68 has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Yeah, and without Dr Samuel Johnson of Lichfield England you wouldnt have been able to write all that crap down as he was the compiler and founder of the first english Dictionary!
So go crawl back under that rock Custard! LOL!!
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides

MATT 68 is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #5
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 623
Thanks: 13
Trader Rating: 0
SchooweeNick has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Bloody Northern Monkey's.... (Lock, Stock.... Lenny Mc Lean)
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides

SchooweeNick is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #6
Ulpian
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: My flat mostly
Posts: 3,578
Thanks: 132
Trader Rating: 0
Ulpian has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Yes, I have to agree, the Scots have been very useful.

As for Dr Jonhson. Didn't he say something about the finest prospect in Scotland being the High Road leading to England?

Hee-hee. I'm a quarter Scots by the way...
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides

Ulpian is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #7
Status: DEFCON Grumpy
 
custard's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 30,125
Thanks: 494
Trader Rating: 1
custard has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Quote Originally Posted by Ulpian
Yes, I have to agree, the Scots have been very useful.

As for Dr Jonhson. Didn't he say something about the finest prospect in Scotland being the High Road leading to England?

Hee-hee. I'm a quarter Scots by the way...
best thing to come out of england................the northbound citylink
custard is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #8
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Lutterworth Leicestershire
Posts: 229
Thanks: 0
Trader Rating: 0
Feed Mo Champion
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

but the bible was translated from latin to english by john wycliff who was english
__________________
Quote Originally Posted by ronnieronson View Post
you should have seen me hacking away at the end of my knob with a padsaw and a swiss army knife
Quote Originally Posted by Toomanytoys View Post
I blew off a mate who was driving his Mondeo on the way to the NEC
CJ_CINQQY is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #9
Funny saying here
 
jamie86's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Near Bath
Posts: 6,130
Thanks: 24
Trader Rating: 1
jamie86 has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Quote Originally Posted by custard
best thing to come out of england................the northbound citylink
So remind me again what language do you speak?

English?
__________________
Quote Originally Posted by A wise person
Mini invented the giant killer, VW started the genre, Ford & Vauxhall Desecrated it, but the Peugeot 205 GTi was undoubtedly the king of the breed.
jamie86 is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #10
Status: DEFCON Grumpy
 
custard's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 30,125
Thanks: 494
Trader Rating: 1
custard has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Quote Originally Posted by CJ_CINQQY
but the bible was translated from latin to english by john wycliff who was english
from the fugees?





custard is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #11
Burninator of threads!
 
faster4_tec's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sunderland and LakeDistri
Posts: 4,242
Thanks: 9
Trader Rating: 0
faster4_tec has donated!
Mongolia 
Re: one for you southern nancys

just goes to show what kind of a 3rd world 'esque country when they have to invent all the above to keep their head above water.

and baird's tv never took off, the american flashing light show won the contract
__________________
Volvo for Life
faster4_tec is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #12
SWOG
 
swinnie's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Torquay
Posts: 55
Thanks: 0
Trader Rating: 0
swinnie has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

They invented all that but still wear skirts!!!
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides

swinnie is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #13
PNL
Banned
 
PNL's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In my house
Posts: 13,715
Thanks: 243
Trader Rating: 0
PNL has donated!
United Kingdom 
Cool Re: one for you southern nancys

Ha well dont you Scottish peeps and English peeps get to far above you station because its us the Welsh that feed the nation and probably the World




Pot Noddles fuel of Britain isnt it.
__________________
FIAT Forum Useful Links:
Donate to FF | Buy FF Merchandise | Classifieds | FF Insurance | How-to Guides


Last edited by PNL; 13-10-2006 at 19:35.
PNL is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 13-10-2006   #14
smell my cheese
 
pinin__prestatyn's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: house
Posts: 2,040
Thanks: 21
Trader Rating: 0
pinin__prestatyn has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Imagine what they'd invent if they weren't all buckfast swilling ginger smackeads
__________________
Coupé number four!
pinin__prestatyn is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Old 14-10-2006   #15
Status: DEFCON Grumpy
 
custard's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 30,125
Thanks: 494
Trader Rating: 1
custard has donated!
United Kingdom 
Re: one for you southern nancys

Quote Originally Posted by pinin__prestatyn
Imagine what they'd invent if they weren't all buckfast swilling ginger smackeads
nah thats just the weedgies
custard is offline Reply With Quote Quote 
Reply
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump
Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
southern fried chicken pot noodle Jai Leisure Lounge 8 09-09-2005 18:12
southern paintballin: the return, which month? mase Polling Station 31 06-07-2005 08:26
Standford Hall - Southern Convoy Bo~Select@ Leisure Lounge 58 10-06-2005 20:55
Southern Brooklands Convoy? jamie86 Convoy Arrangements 11 25-04-2005 15:09
Southern Hemisphere mag laughing at UK cars! J333EVO Leisure Lounge 30 29-01-2005 12:45