What work phrases drive you mad?

[Ffoxy]

Best I've ever heard was 'let's cascade this thought process and cross-fertilise it while it's at the embryonic stage'

Translation - someone had a good idea and the manager thought that we should tell all the other departments about it while the idea was still new. This is no word of a lie, it actually happened and it wasn't a cheese-induced dream.

Might that have been Cross - Pollenate? I have heard that before too... Management Gobbledygook... ffs...

 

[ChrisUK]

Where I work it seems to be "No worries"

Does my f***ing head in especially when there are worries. Next person to say that to me is going to get a Dell XPS sideways up their arse.

 

[powered_up_pac_man]

Next person to say that to me is going to get a Dell XPS sideways up their arse.

 

[puntokris]

"reasonably practicable" - just another phrase to describe arse covering or pointing the blame on some poor sod!

We seem to be dominated by KPI's and OPI's at the moment!! :bang:

I take it you work in cosntruction the same as me then? This kind of thinking leads to the 'paperwork umbrella', you can hide under it all you want but when it rains your eventually gona get wet! Its funny that people don't understand they can delegate responsibility all they want but they still have accounatability.


I'm hating 'kaizen' at the moment. It basically means continual improvement. Why not just say continual improvement? Then you don't have to explain what 'kaizen' means to everybody.

 

[Lolita]

to make life more interesting here we (me, alex and jamie) take advantage of unlocked comps and send out "allstaff" emails - we also tape desk drawers closed, sellotape everything down to each others desk, swap drawer contents about, remove keyboards... etc

 

[Captain Mike]

to make life more interesting here we (me, alex and jamie) take advantage of unlocked comps and send out "allstaff" emails - we also tape desk drawers closed, sellotape everything down to each others desk, swap drawer contents about, remove keyboards... etc

i can control other peoples pc'd from my desk. i often just log onto theres and move the mouse whilst they are using it lol.

they then complain that their mouse is broken

 

[Lolita]

i can control other peoples pc'd from my desk. i often just log onto theres (or theirs?) and move the mouse whilst they are using it lol.

they then complain that their mouse is broken

i'd love that power:worship:

 

[volxstu]

you know its illegal for an employer to force you to do that. if you enjoy it then fair enough, but i'd rather find a new job than gobble the boss.

Yeah but we all know that he likes it.

 

[psychofox]

"We are working towards a paperless office"

Like f£&k we are!!! I have more paper on my desk then i can fill the recyling bin with!!!!

 

[Captain Mike]

i'd love that power:worship:

its my favourite of all my IT powers (thanks for checking my posts and picking up on errors! can i have a grade for it next time)

Yeah but we all know that he likes it.

u seemed to like it last time we met up

 

[Chas Uno]

"It's not rocket science" - used whenever someone claims that a task is simple.

So over fooking used!

 

[Ffoxy]

to make life more interesting here we (me, alex and jamie) take advantage of unlocked comps and send out "allstaff" emails - we also tape desk drawers closed, sellotape everything down to each others desk, swap drawer contents about, remove keyboards... etc

we send out an "all users" mail saying :-
Thanks to **** (whoever you are) I now have a locked PC, in gratitude I am buying everyone a fresh cream cake tomorrow lunchtime, please feel free to join me" or similar...

 

[ChrisUK]

Mike shut up you little cock goblin. VNC is for nubs.

 

[Captain Mike]

Mike shut up you little cock goblin. VNC is for nubs.

haha

VNC is fun and you know it.

it is laggy as **** though

 

[Lolita]

Mike shut up you little cock goblin. VNC is for nubs.

haha

VNC is fun and you know it.

 

[ChrisUK]

*looks through spank bank for incriminating photo's of Lolita*. :devil:

 

[Lolita]

*looks through spank bank for incriminating photo's of Lolita*. :devil:

*wonders if Chris wants anymore pics for his spankbank in the future* :chin::nerner:

 

[benjo]

I take it you work in cosntruction the same as me then? This kind of thinking leads to the 'paperwork umbrella', you can hide under it all you want but when it rains your eventually gona get wet! Its funny that people don't understand they can delegate responsibility all they want but they still have accounatability.

Yeah I work in construction! It was the hard hats and mustaches that first got me interested

Every month we have to sit the blokes down and give them 'toolbox talks' trouble is you end up feeling like a complete 'tool' telling some big hairy bloke how to sit in a chair correctly!! :bang::bang::bang:

More arse covering!!

 

[puntokris]

Yeah I work in construction! It was the hard hats and mustaches that first got me interested

Every month we have to sit the blokes down and give them 'toolbox talks' trouble is you end up feeling like a complete 'tool' telling some big hairy bloke how to sit in a chair correctly!! :bang::bang::bang:

More arse covering!!

Nobody realises that won't get a bloke whos been doing his trade the same way for 20 years to chamge the way he does it.

If you want an effective method to get through to them, tell them that if they are not working safely and an accident occurs, they won't be able to make a claim! Its true aswell.

Who do you work for?

 

[benjo]

The great and mighty global corporation that is Atkins - how the hell a company that cites that big sail hotel in dubai as one of their accomplishments can get so many things wrong beggars belief!!

Tied up with the local council at the moment causing chaos on all the roads in Somerset

What about you?