So, today I finally managed to escape the daytime drudgery for long enough to test-drive a 595 Competizione - and in fact, there being two low mileage secondhand examples within a gnat's whisker of each other, I got to drive two of the beasties, which turned out to be a revealing experience.
Wow! I can see what Squadrone Rosso et al (who's Al? Ed) have been raving about. It's a little hooligan, and 100% guaranteed to put a smile on your face! Get the turbo spinning and it really flies, but it's still decently tractable around town, and not so insanely fast that you can only drive it at 7/10ths most of the time. And the noise from that Monza exhaust is exhilarating.
The first one I drove had the performance pack, and was the pick of the two. The firm seat-base of the Sabelts puts you in contact with the chassis (literally, on the bumpy bits, but rarely uncomfortably) and thanks to the LSD, at no point did the tyres scrabble for grip, despite provocation. It was an accompanied test-drive, but the salesman was evidently an enthusiast, so instead of the usual quick blast along the nearest dual carriageway, we spent 30 minutes or so exploring the B-roads of Suffolk, at speed. Top bloke!
Downsides? There is absolutely epic turbo lag, so rapid progress depends on getting the gearchanges right. Floor the little beast below 2.5k rpm and you'd be better off measuring progress with an egg timer than a stopwatch. I'm not sure I could live with that, tbh. (My old DS3 1.6 THP felt a great deal more eager, and responsive to the throttle, at lower revs, although I reckon the 595 would leave it for dust once it picks its skirts up). The steering is reasonably precise, but lacks feel - you feel more connected to the road via your backside than your fingers. The gearchange is OK, but nothing special. Otherwise, the little beast was great fun, and highly grin-inducing. The only downside, spec-wise, was the tiny 5" display, and no sat-nav.
After a quick trip across town, I then drove a Competizione without the performance pack. It seemed even flatter at low revs (strange, as they both have the same output), and the brakes were squirmy (perhaps because it had been sitting on a garage forecourt for several weeks). Disappointingly, the original owner had opted for the leather Abarth seats rather than the Sabelts, possibly because they are (a) more accommodating for those who are <ahem> a bit broader in the beam, and (b) height adjustable, for those who are a bit shorter in the leg/trunk. It too was great fun to blast around in, but it somehow seemed less raw, and less special, than the first one (those seats, perhaps?).
So, decisions! I'm not 100% sure the Competizione is the right car for me, but never again will I dismiss an Abarth as just a tarted-up 500 with a bit more power in an unsorted chassis. I don't think I'm ready to push the "buy" button just yet (although both of these were, objectively, very good deals), but maybe in the spring, after my plucky Cross has piloted me through the winter snowdrifts (there's a first time for everything...), I'll feel differently.