I think a pic would paint a thousand words of the Allen key in the hole and the spanner on the nut, in addition a picture with the nut off and a spanner on the flats on the rotating part in question, I don't have any drop links to do this but I suspect it would help sort it all out.
I still don't get you :-( Any nut, being self-lock or not will eventually be full tight ! Unless the 'screw' part rotates I can't see any difference between a nylstop and a standard nut...
Sorry guys, cant take any pics of how i explained it until Saturday... my car is still in bits on the friends drive beside the workshop... i have my new shocks that fit (hurray) and springs being delivered by ggb in person by the guys as there in my home town... so i finally have all the bits...
I will take some pics of my drop links when i refit them and the top of my front shocks... they both have the allen key hole to lock the bar the nut is on...