after 30 years on the road i had the misfortune to buy a Fiat Ducato

the gearbox sounds like a bag of nails in the CERN particle accelerator.

there are more warning lights than Blackpool Illuminations...

it runs as well as a 3 legged donkey at Royal Ascot.

but what pisses me off more than the fear of imminent breakdown is that the side lights and brake lights constantly stay on or flash when the keys are in my pocket and i am indoors.

disconnecting the battery is the only way to start the mofo in the morning.

is this the summit of 21st century technology?

i'd rather have purchased a horse and cart :bang:

instead of torching it, can anyone suggest a solution

Sell it. Lol.
Try Fiatecuscan, see if that brings anything up.
Are there any visible wires that are damaged or exposed causing a short? How about earth? Pug had god awful electric and my 02' 306 Hdi used to do the same, well similar things. All down to the fact that it lost its earth connection.
Ta.

i don't understand how it can do anything when there is no key in the ignition

if the key is taken out, the HEADLIGHT symbol is illuminated on the dash... but i can flick it on and off a few times and remove the key to a nice unlit dash... then a few minutes later it starts flashing again!

i've had to replace both sides rear brake bulbs and noticed rusting on the circuits; could that be the cause?

Possible I guess, if its arcing but, Id be inclined to check and clean all the plugs and connectors I could get my paws on, check fuses and relays and of course, check the loom where you can.
May be something as simple as a loose connection or as expensive as an ECU.
Try ruling out the obvious before panicking.
Failing that, a drop of Derv on the seats, and a stray lit match or two.
Ta

anonamouse said:

but what pisses me off more than the fear of imminent breakdown is that the side lights and brake lights constantly stay on or flash when the keys are in my pocket and i am indoors.

Click to expand...

There is a way of leaving the sidelights on with key out of the ignition.

Though I've never needed to use this particular function I believe it's something to do with the 'toggle' just below the key slot, just possibly this is making intermittent contact (though that wouldn't explain the brake lights or flashes)