[quote name='Saxscott' timestamp='1291716963' post='14698']
.As some of you may recall I was meaning to change my VTR's cat today, seeing as it's been blowing for weeks and the car is due an MOT. So out I went to jack the car up and noticed the jack didn't feel as strong as normal... and began to sink slowly. It was early, and I wasn't awake so I sort of carried on regardless. I had an axle stand under the passenger side anyway.
About 5 minutes into the job I heard a creaking sound and the car started to come down on me. I was twisted at that time (spraying WD40), so it took me a moment to start pulling myself out and the car caught my shoulder, pinning me down and stopping me from moving or turning! luckily I could still breathe and was able to call for help but mum was at work, dad works nights and was asleep (heavy sleeper). After about 3 minutes I could feel the worst sort of bruising feeling ever, as the sill pressed into my arm. some kids doing a paper round walked up the drive and I yelled them over. They looked about 10 or 11 so I asked if they could grab the jack handle and lift the car up a bit. They paused for a minute and were giggling, all I could see was their feet and then one of the little ****s just yanked my shorts down around my ankles. Kids these days are just cheeky fearless ****s. I kicked the little ****er in the shin as they laughed and ran off. I was fighting back the tears at this point as i was thinking the worst about my arm going tingly
I tipped my head back and shouted to see if I could get the attention of a neighbour or a car queueing at the lights at the bottom of the drive... but it was futile as we have a long curving drive with a thick hedge either side.
By this point all my shouting had woken the dog, which came bounding over to see what the fuss was about, all excited. At first I thought I was saved but then rememebered the dog didn't know how to work the jack. All he could do was yap about all excitedly and sniff my exposed crotch. Until you've had a wet nose on your gooch, you won't know how odd this feels. He's only a young pup and gets quite excited... unfortunately it wasn't the best time for him to pee in excitement. It ****ing stunk and was all over my bare skin which was already sweating in the heat. The open pores covered in pee just stung like a bitch. Stupid dog!!!!! I was so angry! I could even feel my phone ringing but couldn't reach that either. My heart was beating frantically as I felt my arm starting to pulse in pain. What would you have done?
A short while later my mum arrived home, with my girlfriend she'd picked up in the car too. My heart sunk as the car doors shut and they walked over. All I could hear was silence as they arrived to see their son/boyfriend half-naked, covered in dust and with a trail of **** running off down to the edge of the lawn. My girlfriend managed to jack the car up enough for me to slide out, but then just burst into tears and said she was dissapointed in me? Mum hasn't said a word, but locked the door, probably because of the smell. What can I do?
I can't find the words to explain. I'm shaking. My arm is bruised and black. I'm typing this from my laptop in the garage because when my Dad wakes up I'm going to get the beating of my life. He's got a prosthetic leg, last time I ****ed up he hit me with that so hard.
I ****ing hate that leg
I didn't even get the cat changed.
I can't help but laugh at that misfortune though of those kids pulling down his trousers... surely if he was on the floor he could have put a load of weight onto the ground with his hips and managed to keep them on. 
