Why men and women are different!!

[angie-B]

How to Shower Like a Woman





1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.



2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more exercise



4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.



5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.



6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.



7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.



8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.



9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.



10. Rinse conditioner off hair.



11. Shave armpits and legs.



12. Turn off shower.



13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with detergent.



14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.



15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.



16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.



17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



AND NOW....



How To Shower Like a Man



1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.



2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.



3. Look in the mirror, look at your willy and scratch your arse.





4. Get in the shower.



5. Wash your face



6. Wash your armpits.



7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.



8.Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower



9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.



10.Wash your bum, leaving coarse hairs stuck on the soap.



11. Shampoo your hair.



12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.



13. Wee.



14. Rinse off and get out of shower.



15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.



16. Admire willy size in mirror again



17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.



18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and

make the 'woo-woo' sound again.



19. Throw wet towel on bed.

 

[panda_gal]

lmfao thats so true

 

[black_cinq]

Lol

 

[PuntoOllie]

That is the funniest thing i have read for ages i cant type cos my sides hurt from laughing! lol ROFL!!!!!!

 

[surfin_fella]

hehe, nice!

 

[wolfracepunto]

Pmsl

 

[Alex]

very funny... so true!

 

[binki]

i would have thought human women had to do a hand stand in the shower to get clean propperly

 

[gadge]

............at least we don't think we're britney smears and try to have a sing song in the shower and spend hours applying copious amouts of chemicals on our faces only to look slighty different and then another half an hour of trying to decide what to wear asking stoooopid questions like "does this go with my bag" or "does this make me look fat" :bang: .......i mean c'mon what are we going to say "yes love ,you need to cut down on them pies" ..........honestly eh - women - can't live with em, can't kill em!

 

[Smee]

i dunno mum goes to dad do i look fat in this. his reaction is ALWAYS yeah u look like the marshmellow man go change u fat heffa. she just laughs and he continues to watch the box. HAHAHa

also hahah that is almost true. i sing in the shower and do 3 hair washes :S

Smee

 

[serin]

i find that if you tell them the truth and then justify it (e.g. yes your bum does look big in that, but cracking in the other) the female will either respect/consider your opinion, or will get fed up, and stop asking

 

[Helz]

I just try to have confidence in myself and not ask because I know the answer is usually a grunt!

 

[dave]

and do 3 hair washes :S

Smee

so do i head armpits and boloks

 

[panda_gal]

dirty dave

 

[dave]

dirty dave

how can i be dirty if i wash them?

 

[Pecora]

Very funny (and some parts so true!)....don't know about the different shaped cloths though....?!