Picture the scene. Happy Abzstilo has just finished washing and polishing his car with a range of Zymol products (looks bloody good by the way) and has an invite to go fishing 
So, he picks up his fishing tackle and chucks it in the boot of the car and makes for the river. Unfortunately there's quite a bit of traffic on the road as the purple rinse brigade are out practising for the go slow grand prix they seem to run every weekend on the roads of rural Aberdeenshire :x This doesn't worry our intrepid hero too much as the roof is open, tunes on the cd player and it's warm - so everything is pretty cool, he's 'chilled' and has a fag to hand :smt003
15 miles and thirty minutes further on and in a queue of traffic Abz is getting a smidgen annoyed :smt019 but, thankfully, most of the traffic isn't going on the same road he is and he's soon nipping along at his own particular pace again
Then he catches a truck, a wood lorry to be precise. Now these guys seldom let folk past on narrow-ish country roads (ceratinly that's the case in Aberdeenshire) so a disgruntled Abz sits behind the truck having reconciled himself to the fact that he's going to be late :smt012
Then a miracle happens..... the truck driver waves him through :shock: Abz floors the trusty Stilo and flies past for all of three hundred yards until a bloody great crow eating a rabbit at the side of the road fails to get airborne in time and flies directly into the past of the newly washed and polished Stilo...... :shock: :shock:
In almost slow motion our hero watches in horror as the crow hits the car (by now doing 60-ish) right on the nearside headlamp - or to be more precise the nearside headlmap protector...... which detonates in a spectacular way with huge shards of plexiglas (whatever) flying all over the place :evil: You'd think that'd be enough but no...... the now headless corpse of the crow has (in these few short seconds) somehow come over the bonnet through the skyroof and is now lying... well.... bleeding/flapping...... all over the inside of the back seat #-o Abz considers stopping, inpart so he can feel better by drop-kicking the remains of the crow into oblivion for the pain it's just caused him and the blood and gore that it's left all over his car after it's inadvised take off :smt013
But no, our hero carries on as he'll be damned if he's getting stuck behind the truck again :twisted: Later on that evening he clears the remnants of the headlamp protector on the car and is thankful it was there or the headlamp itself would almost certainly be fecked. He's also grateful he had a blanket on the backseat of the car which absorbed the blood and gore left by the remnants of the headless crow.
And that, dear reader, is why I really really f*cking hate b*starding crows :smt067
PS - anyone got a spare n/s headlamp protector and mounts for a Fiat Stilo 3 door :?: Anyone :?:
So, he picks up his fishing tackle and chucks it in the boot of the car and makes for the river. Unfortunately there's quite a bit of traffic on the road as the purple rinse brigade are out practising for the go slow grand prix they seem to run every weekend on the roads of rural Aberdeenshire :x This doesn't worry our intrepid hero too much as the roof is open, tunes on the cd player and it's warm - so everything is pretty cool, he's 'chilled' and has a fag to hand :smt003
15 miles and thirty minutes further on and in a queue of traffic Abz is getting a smidgen annoyed :smt019 but, thankfully, most of the traffic isn't going on the same road he is and he's soon nipping along at his own particular pace again
Then he catches a truck, a wood lorry to be precise. Now these guys seldom let folk past on narrow-ish country roads (ceratinly that's the case in Aberdeenshire) so a disgruntled Abz sits behind the truck having reconciled himself to the fact that he's going to be late :smt012
Then a miracle happens..... the truck driver waves him through :shock: Abz floors the trusty Stilo and flies past for all of three hundred yards until a bloody great crow eating a rabbit at the side of the road fails to get airborne in time and flies directly into the past of the newly washed and polished Stilo...... :shock: :shock:
In almost slow motion our hero watches in horror as the crow hits the car (by now doing 60-ish) right on the nearside headlamp - or to be more precise the nearside headlmap protector...... which detonates in a spectacular way with huge shards of plexiglas (whatever) flying all over the place :evil: You'd think that'd be enough but no...... the now headless corpse of the crow has (in these few short seconds) somehow come over the bonnet through the skyroof and is now lying... well.... bleeding/flapping...... all over the inside of the back seat #-o Abz considers stopping, inpart so he can feel better by drop-kicking the remains of the crow into oblivion for the pain it's just caused him and the blood and gore that it's left all over his car after it's inadvised take off :smt013
But no, our hero carries on as he'll be damned if he's getting stuck behind the truck again :twisted: Later on that evening he clears the remnants of the headlamp protector on the car and is thankful it was there or the headlamp itself would almost certainly be fecked. He's also grateful he had a blanket on the backseat of the car which absorbed the blood and gore left by the remnants of the headless crow.
And that, dear reader, is why I really really f*cking hate b*starding crows :smt067
PS - anyone got a spare n/s headlamp protector and mounts for a Fiat Stilo 3 door :?: Anyone :?:
