What's made you smile today?

Currently reading:
What's made you smile today?

Gt2..niceeee

$_57.JPG


I already have a Punto 90 engine and set of pistons on my watch list. ;)
 
Clean Punto.
After some snow the maintenance crews went overboard with salt and after one day Dantellini looked like Lot's wife :(

Luckily, had the time for drive thru wash. Not perfect but actually looks like a metal based object once again

-Tazio
 
Last edited:
I was on the M1 behind a lorry about to leave at the junction. I had passed the first marker. An Audi comes flying up behind me, decides he can't wait 200yards pulls back into the middle lane, overtakes me and the lorry then cuts back in and exits the motorway. By this point he had run out of room and had to drive across the chevrons at the last minute.

What made me smile is that he went the wrong way at the roundabout at the end of the slip road, had to go all the way round and finished up behind me!! Where he stayed for the next 5 or so miles.
 
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!​
 
My insurance is paying for a hire car for my mum to drive while my little punto is being repaired (or replaced) and we have a person coming over soon to take pictures of the car's damage.
 
They've finally activated bt infinity at my local cabinet on Thursday. I put my order in yesterday, as honestly it is the thing that has annoyed me the most since I moved out of my dads house. I've had a max broadband speed of 1.1mbps, that's the improved speed since they upgraded the cabinets it used to be 0.6mbps for the last 3.5 years.

So should be getting up to 38mbps...which means I'll finally actually be able to use on demand tv, without deactivating the wireless on everything. It won't take a day to download any moderately sized file...it's like the future as seen by most people 10 years ago.
 
It amazes me just how much of Newcastle and Gateshead are still in the dark ages with broadband speed. It's a nightmare.

I'm not in the centre or even close, joys of a pit village, although my dad lives at the far end of the village and gets 9mbps on standard broadband.

o2 built a new mast less than 10 yards away from my house, my 4G speeds are now are 64Mbps d/l and 23 u/p.

I have bt infinity and that only 28 d/l and 9 u/l ! ! !

Should have got the expensive infinity, at my house apparently I could expect up to 70+mbps, I didn't bother like on the basis even if I get 1/3rd of the promised speed my internet will be 10x faster. Although at the moment I'm in the same position as you in that the 2 bars of 3g I get is faster than my landline!



And for posterity, although it's 50% faster today!
 

Attachments

  • Screenshot_2015-02-15-18-48-39.jpg
    Screenshot_2015-02-15-18-48-39.jpg
    171.3 KB · Views: 19
Back
Top