I feel I must say, to all the Celts on here, that while we English really appreciate your largesse, we do feel that you have been generous enough with the rain and you really should keep some for yourselves. Because of the real and present danger that you might actually run out of rain, and therefore, water, I urge you all to think of yourselves for a change.
If you look at people in Eire, they are far more conservation minded and hang on to their rain, so please, for your own sakes, take a leaf out of their book. Please, to all those in Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland, keep hold of your precipitation, after all, you may need it for a.....er, well, erm, what I suppose you could call a rainy day.
Thank you for taking the time to read this appeal on behalf of all those who are struggling to find enough rain.