Office Dare's

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Office Dare's

bulldog5046

faster! FASTER!!!
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
9,053
>>ONE POINT OFFICE DARES
>>1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
>>2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
>>'non-player'
>>must be in the toilet at the time).
>>3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
>>4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
>>say,
>>"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
>>5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your
>>ears and
>>grimace.
>>6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
>>huskily,
>>"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
>>7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
>>say
>>,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
>>8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
>>9) While riding a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
>>open.
>>
>>THREE-POINTS DARES
>>1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
>>double-barrelled
>>fingers.
>>2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get
>>all that,
>>I don't want to have to repeat it".
>>3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
>>4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
>>nozzle
>> (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
>>5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
>>
>> FIVE POINT DARES
>> 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
>>nice to
>> conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if
>>you
>>actually launch into it yourself).
>> 2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you
>>with
>>growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
>> 3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
>> 4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
>>do a
>>number two".
>> 5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican
>>accent. As in
>>"the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
>>6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
>>7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly
>>and
>>mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
>> 8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
>>my
>> witness, I'll never go hungry again".
>> 9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in
>>tights".
>>10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
>>trade?".
>>11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
>>"Do you
>>hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
>>12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't
>>talk
>>about it".
>>13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
>>lunch
>>for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
>>14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a
>>very
>>important conference call.
>>15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
>> 16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
>>your pants
>>and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
>>17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
>>smash each
>>biscuit with your fist.
>>18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards
>>the door.
>>19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
>>attendee,
>>move them according to the movements of their real-life
>>counterparts.
>>
>>And if that wasn't enough for you...
>>1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
>>point a
>> hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>>2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are
>>going to
>>have to let one of you go."
>>3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
>>fries with
>>that.
>>4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
>>5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
>>over
>>his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>>8) Don't use any punctuation
>>9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>>10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
>>answer.
>>11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>>12) Sing along at the opera.
>>13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>>14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
>>jungle
>>sounds all day.
>>15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
>>party
>>because you're not in the mood.
>>16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
>>Hard.
>>17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd
>>time
>>this week!!!"
>>18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
>>yelling,
>>"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
 
Joined
Mar 29, 2005
Messages
5,034
Location
NW London
I've done some of those already, I don't work in an office so not all of these are achievable but these one made me laugh

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way

After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
"the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a airdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
 
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bulldog5046

bulldog5046

faster! FASTER!!!
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
9,053
my mate made one up, well, would be funny for the office anyway, add "said yourname"

"i'm going to lunch now, said Ryan"

its also funny if someone forgets

"said Rob Said Ryan"

:p
 
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