angie-B
Member
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:
4th Place.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
>able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
>annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start
>behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
>she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, '
>If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing
>Daddy's willie last night.'
>
>After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
>tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my
>dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last
thing
>I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter."
>
>
>3rd Place.
>"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
>parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
>for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
>heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
>that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
>want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we
>got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
>whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents,
>aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there.
>My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and
>embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
>in my family has planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>2nd Place.
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
>got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no
>price tag.
>The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
>across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
>supersize". But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
>apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and
>replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
>public
>address system:"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or
>the kind one you belt in with a hammer?"
>
>
>1st Place. And the winner is . . .
>This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
>lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
>semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
>correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as
>in sugar?"The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding
>some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl
>asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the
>whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and
>as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up
>her books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and
>never returned.However, as she was heading for the door, theprofessor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered
her
>question.
>"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on
>the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."
4th Place.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
>able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
>annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start
>behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
>she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, '
>If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing
>Daddy's willie last night.'
>
>After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
>tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my
>dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last
thing
>I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter."
>
>
>3rd Place.
>"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
>parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
>for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
>heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
>that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
>want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we
>got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
>whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents,
>aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there.
>My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and
>embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
>in my family has planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>2nd Place.
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
>got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no
>price tag.
>The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
>across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
>supersize". But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
>apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and
>replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
>public
>address system:"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or
>the kind one you belt in with a hammer?"
>
>
>1st Place. And the winner is . . .
>This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
>lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
>semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
>correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as
>in sugar?"The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding
>some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl
>asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the
>whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and
>as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up
>her books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and
>never returned.However, as she was heading for the door, theprofessor's reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered
her
>question.
>"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on
>the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."
