your "cherub" is not special.....

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your "cherub" is not special.....

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i am reminded by bill hicks, playing in the background, of the blind adoration parents have for their children, not seeing them as i did earlier in asda for what they really are, picture the scene, 3 year old, with mum, who's bravely coping with whiney spawn of satans loin, despite losing her figure and going somewhat hausfrau round the middle and jowls, and at 24 no less. she refuses said wire haired goblin a treat, at which point beelezebubs little wolverine tears out of the skin of the child, showing her true contorted scaly face and proceeds to bring down the ceiling with a scream to turn your chosen gods hair white, and make orcs blood run cold, and then i make the fatal error....i look over and make eye contact....with the thrashing, wire haired goblin child, who shoots me a look like she wants to rip the soul from my flesh, and feed on its deliciousness.....back away...back away....avert your eyes...i can't, the flames deep within are so compelling......the mother realising her hellsprog is drawing attention undue, succumbs and throws it a bone in the shape of a jaffa cake, the "child" reappears, the horns retract, the only sign of devilry is a forked tongue slurping the chocolate, and cloven hoofs tapping against the trolley....kids.....

i am available for childrens parties and barmitzvahs......
 
lol

I think you may need a little therapy now :)


I stopped at a zebra crossing the other day to let a woman and her 3 kids over. There was one in the pram, one aged about 5 and a toddler of about 3.

The woman had already got to the other side the the 3yr old was lagging and still only half way over.....

Because he was too busy sticking his fingers up at me as he went over the road!!!...
He was walking as slowly as possible, with his little chubby hand bunched up with these two tiny fingers poking up at me...
It was a real "huh, gotta stop for me" smirking at the same time.

I didn't know if I should laugh or run the little git over
 
miss*virmin said:
lol

I think you may need a little therapy now :)


I stopped at a zebra crossing the other day to let a woman and her 3 kids over. There was one in the pram, one aged about 5 and a toddler of about 3.

The woman had already got to the other side the the 3yr old was lagging and still only half way over.....

Because he was too busy sticking his fingers up at me as he went over the road!!!...
He was walking as slowly as possible, with his little chubby hand bunched up with these two tiny fingers poking up at me...
It was a real "huh, gotta stop for me" smirking at the same time.

I didn't know if I should laugh or run the little git over

I would have stalled the car, the shock of the car moving forward would have had him shi**ing himself and would be soooo worth the embaressment
 
miss*virmin said:
lol

I wish I had done that, or a nice loud airhorn would've been cool. Although I don't reckon he was old enough to get scared by a car.

Makes you wish for a 'line lock' on the front brakes as per rear wheel drive drag cars. Lock the front brakes, rev the engine, drop the clutch and in the process cause the back tyres to light up with screeching noise and smoke billowing everywhere. :devil:

Alternatively, there's nothing to stop you putting the car in neutral and revving the engine hard just as the little turd is walking in front of it.

Run you little obnoxious git, run...
 
Alternatively, there's nothing to stop you putting the car in neutral and revving the engine hard just as the little turd is walking in front of it.

You lot are as evil as the little turd lol

I do wonder where the kid learnt it at such a young age and I wish I had a camera with me.

I just sat there with me gob open, not believing my eyes lol
 
miss*virmin said:
You lot are as evil as the little turd lol

I do wonder where the kid learnt it at such a young age and I wish I had a camera with me.

I just sat there with me gob open, not believing my eyes lol

I don't think we're as evil at all. What goes around comes around, so if you behave in an awkward way and hold up others you can expect to receive awkwardness back. Karma and all that.

If little brats don't learn at that age the difference between right and wrong and how to respect others then what are they going to be like when they grow up? I think we all know the answer to that one, and a look around at many youngsters today paints a bleak picture for the future...
 
Nah, I was only joking about being evil. That little boy will have an asbo by the age of 10 max.

I was just shocked that his mum was already across the road and didn't even realise where he was, or what he was doing.
And secondly, that his little hand was so small and still had baby fat, that you could only just see his fingers poking up!

But it's true, kids push it now...I was a little sod as a kid, until an adult turned up, then we either, ran away, apologised, or cried :D
Now they think it's cool to get an asbo and have little gangs that wont let you in if you don't have one.
I think it is only down to parenting (95% of the time) esp with children of a young age.

My 2 kids know exactly where they stand...be good or get told off...be really bad and get a smack. I know it's not PC to smack your children now. But tough, they are my kids and sometimes they need a short sharp shock. I would never smack them hard enough to properly hurt them and I can't remember the last time I had to resort to it. As they are now polite and well behaved...most of the time ;)
 
Amen to you Miss V!

The namby pamby approach to wrong doers is this countries downfall, I wait to see the outcome of these stronger sentences.

Liam
 
Jai said:
i am reminded by bill hicks, playing in the background, of the blind adoration parents have for their children, not seeing them as i did earlier in asda for what they really are, picture the scene, 3 year old, and cloven hoofs tapping against the trolley....kids.....

i am available for childrens parties and barmitzvahs......

Awesome!

Liam:D
 
Common sense at last, the police should be allowed to discipline them in the street as they see fit and the parents as well if they get in the way. If the little buggers don't like that then it's ramp up the punishment time and also teachers should be allowed to discipline the kids as well. They are not little adults but brats that need to be taught right from wrong.


Any one else want to stand on my orange box?:D
 
Any one else want to stand on my orange box?

I think most of the decent people in the country are right on that box with you :D

The only downfall I have found by having nice kids, is that they have both been picked on at school by the little sh*te bags that have never been told off.
Neither of my kids are wilting wall flowers, they are both bright and confident kids, but will not cross the line that the other kids do.
The schools are powerless to stop it and any measures that they put in place are ruined by the parents come 3 o'clock.

My son had his nose broken when he was in reception year (aged 4) 4 boys got him on the floor and one stamped on the back of his head :(
So his nose broke on the ground (makes me almost cry just thinking back to it)
Anyway, he hadn't said anything to the teachers, the teachers knew he had been hurt, but put a plaster on his knee, this was at lunchtime break.
By the time he got out of school his nose was the same width all the way down with the swelling and had gone purple and he had 2 black eyes forming.

When questioned the teacher hadn't even noticed...3 hours!! and no-one had even looked at him.
They were meant to hold an emergency meeting, I finally got an appointment with the head...who knew nothing about it...so much for the meeting.
I went to the education board, the board of govenors, anyone I could...they done nothing.
Everyone is always shocked, no-one does anything.

Nothing was said to the boys or the parents of those children, as far as I am aware. I was told in no uncertain terms not to approach them.

One of these kids still picks on my son and the other kids in the class. He threw a pair of scissors at the back of a little girls head last year, they dug in...lucky it wasn't her face.

The school have admitted that this child shouldn't be in a main-stream school, but there is nowhere else to send him. They can't do anything with him due to the mamby pampy approach that they have to stick by.
So the good kids just suffer at the hands of a little git who needs a good wack.
(sorry, rant over, just makes my blood boil :) )
 
if they jay walk across I tend to drop a gear or two, or three.
parents older audi 6pot with a custom supersprint exhaust ALWAYS made them move. Sounded like some kind of hell (car was red too!) was coming their way.

stalling it into them is also a good one. 3000rpm 2nd gear, dump clutch, kid WILL fall over or ACTUALLY crap their pants:D
 
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