i am reminded by bill hicks, playing in the background, of the blind adoration parents have for their children, not seeing them as i did earlier in asda for what they really are, picture the scene, 3 year old, with mum, who's bravely coping with whiney spawn of satans loin, despite losing her figure and going somewhat hausfrau round the middle and jowls, and at 24 no less. she refuses said wire haired goblin a treat, at which point beelezebubs little wolverine tears out of the skin of the child, showing her true contorted scaly face and proceeds to bring down the ceiling with a scream to turn your chosen gods hair white, and make orcs blood run cold, and then i make the fatal error....i look over and make eye contact....with the thrashing, wire haired goblin child, who shoots me a look like she wants to rip the soul from my flesh, and feed on its deliciousness.....back away...back away....avert your eyes...i can't, the flames deep within are so compelling......the mother realising her hellsprog is drawing attention undue, succumbs and throws it a bone in the shape of a jaffa cake, the "child" reappears, the horns retract, the only sign of devilry is a forked tongue slurping the chocolate, and cloven hoofs tapping against the trolley....kids.....
i am available for childrens parties and barmitzvahs......
i am available for childrens parties and barmitzvahs......