Cheers for all the support guys, i suppose im just dwelling on it and the longer i dwell the more my mind tries to convince me the thought was true. I cant now beleive i put this on a public forum !

I hope i pull through...

Cheers

Anthony

P.s. At least it has kick started my diet as i have been unable to eat a single full meal since thursday, i just have a sickly / worried feeling all the time!

I know lots of people of various orientations on not one of them did it on a whim. It is a long process, not always starting with denial or dwelling on the matter.

Just seems to me like you may not fit the bill. And either way it really shouldnt be a case to get you done.

you'll pull through, your welcome to PM me when ever you want

If you need cheering up a bit, just read how much support you have conjoured on here in the space of two hours?

I had a period of feeling generally depressed last month, everything went wrong landing me in a slab of debt with no easy out. But I looked around and I realised anything other than friends and people who love you really can take a back seat. If you have support from great people (like the Fiat Forum lot!) then anything it possible.

If you have concerns about it, talk to people, I'll happily add my name to list of people to PM if you want to chat with someone outside of your normal group, someone who doesnt know the pepople you know or someone you may never end up meeting. It can help, honest!

I had similar thoughts aaaaages ago, then I thought to myself "could I take something that big up my bumhole"... then thought to myself how painful a really big poo can be. That took it straight out of my mind.

Try it, it might work for you (although I doubt you're as simple minded as me )

Anthony, If the distressing thought you had was concerning sexual attraction.
Sexuality is a lot broader than most people realise when they are still young.
I`m a retired mental heath professional and I can tell you with confidence that *many* people have a sexual thought or attraction that runs alongside their main sexual orientation.
This is a very broad area and extends beyond having a sexual thought to the same gender.
Its *normal* ( well, lets just say that there is a very broad spectrum and *normality* really as we conventially think of it, is not the reality of life) and its not the thoughts that matter, but in certain circumstances the actions.
There is (for example) a quite high proportion of women who have a sexual attraction to their own gender but although they think about this as a fantasy during sex, they are in a loving relationship with a man.
As I said, sexuality is a lot broader than people often believe.
If you are not feeling better ( regarding your reaction to the thought you had, and in particular if your thought was different in some way to this), I would suggest you visit your GP, who will have seen your situation many times, and will be best placed to advise you.
Regards, Mike

Heya bud, ive been diagonsed with Bi-Polar, otherwise know as manic depression.
I know how hard life can seem at times. I have very often made the wrong decision and taken it out on myself.
You have alot of support here for you mate, and i know it doesnt feel it, but support and friends behind you is what is key. It may not seem it but when you start feeling better you will realise.
We are all faced with decision and thoughts which make us feel uneasy about ourselves.
Try to talk to people, i found myself at a reall difficult stage and rang the samaritans. It takes alot of strength to do this and picking up the phone and dialing the number is the first step to overcome it all.
If you need anything you know where i am matey

Cheers guys. I have realised the mind is a powerful thing and there is no escaping it. I am determined i am not going to leave my fiancee as i couldnt bear to be without her. My big problem is that i dwell on problems / thoughts/ I just have this horrible sicly nervous feeling all the time (like if your going to face a big exam). i woke up with it this morning, reminded me of my thoughts and im back to square 1 again. Life is so f****d up at times.

Cheers

Anthony

No worries man,
Sounds like you are very anxious.
You have 2 choices really if you speak to the GP they can 'help' and prescribe medicine. Im on anti-depressants (even though i dont want to be) Or you can talk to people like the samaritians or us!!!
Either way mate, never feel like you are alone.

Firewarrior said:

No worries man,
Sounds like you are very anxious.
You have 2 choices really if you speak to the GP they can 'help' and prescribe medicine. Im on anti-depressants (even though i dont want to be) Or you can talk to people like the samaritians or us!!!
Either way mate, never feel like you are alone.

Click to expand...

I'd prefer to think of the damage being gay would do to my bumhole

(sorry if you see this as bad taste... if my attempts at humour are bad, tell me to go away )

Book an appointment to go see your doctor, or if you don't want to see your usual doctor ask to see another in the surgery. It might help to get signed off work for a week or two you wont nessecerily have to take tablets or anything.
i found that when i sat down with a doctor i didn't know, everything that was bothering me came flooding out, he was kind, non-judgemental and didn't rush me. He offered me some sleeping tablets as i was having trouble sleeping, but i refused them. He gave me information on councelling services in my area and offered to refer me.
Just be totally honest.
Everyone will go through a form of depression in their lives and you will come out the other side.