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Old 14-10-2005   #1
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IT support

found on another forum i frequent

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power up at all.

When I.T. support sends you e-mail marked "high priority", delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, contradict us. We love a good argument.

When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" THAT motivates us.

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T. support - hanging a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends, that it be only performed by a professional engineer, with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company. People out in the Co.Mayo branch like to keep abreast of what's going on.

When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.
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Old 14-10-2005   #2
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Re: IT support

Quote Originally Posted by custard boy
found on another forum i frequent
You have another life
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Old 14-10-2005   #3
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Re: IT support

LOL so true I spent my first year at the company im at now as IT support but then moved into development once the head programmer knew what i was capable off . Boy does it suck!....
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Old 14-10-2005   #4
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Re: IT support

Quote Originally Posted by Stuart DemonD
You have another life
the joys of tabbed browsing,i can be sad on many forums
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Old 14-10-2005   #5
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Re: IT support

old, but still amusing IT support are mostly monkeys anyway
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Old 14-10-2005   #6
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Re: IT support

Based on my experience:
If it has electicity in it, it must be IT. This includes photocopiers, faxes, and fluorescent lights
When specifically told not to send personal emails because we are low on bandwidth, send lots of large personal emails, then have the cheek to complain the system's slow.
If it doesn't work, tun it off and on again. This includes printers in the middle of a print job, PCs in the middle of an update, and a 50,000 brailler
A problem can be classed as "urgent", if it annoys you, even if it's been going on for 5 weeks and you've never mentioned it before.
We don't need to know what the error message is, only that there was one.
If a printer tells you it requires maintenance, don't tell anyone. The routine maintenance is just for a laugh...
If you have to leave a voicemail for me, because I'm already on the phone helping someone else, I won't hear you saying to someone else in the background "Bloody hell, what does it take..."
You can unplug computers, printers and phones, and plug them in anywhere. When it doesn't work, it's IT's fault.
I like being phoned at home and on my mobile on my day off.



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Old 14-10-2005   #7
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Re: IT support

Ahhh, the joys of being 3rd line support... 1/2nd line get all the calls about flouressent light bulbs and lifts stuck between floors.
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Old 15-10-2005   #8
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Re: IT support

I'm first, second, and third line IT support, as well as IT manager...
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Old 15-10-2005   #9
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Re: IT support

that is to right.some home truths in there
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Old 15-10-2005   #10
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Re: IT support

Quote Originally Posted by hmallett
I like being phoned at home and on my mobile on my day off.
I like that too, or even better when they call you on our way back from skegness and you have to go in on our way back to fix the printer
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Old 15-10-2005   #11
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Re: IT support

thats why i like a phone with an allowed callers list. on your day off you dont have to turn your phone off just activae the list. you never know if anyone has tried to call you so it doesnt play on your mind
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