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Old 25-03-2005   #1
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Insurance Claim Quotes

I've just got this in an email. Apparently they're taken from real insurance claim forms.

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him".

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him".

"I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it".

"I saw a slow-moving sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car".

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident".

"I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hair found that I had a fractured skull".
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Old 25-03-2005   #2
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

Quote Quote:
"I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it".
Come on, hands up to who has done this?

*puts hand up, albeit hand not head and didn't smash it!*
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Old 25-03-2005   #3
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

Quote Originally Posted by The Negotiator
Come on, hands up to who has done this?

*puts hand up, albeit hand not head and didn't smash it!*
hmmm looks like its just you there paul
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Old 25-03-2005   #4
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

i ran into patio doors once

was watching jasper carrot the other day, he got loads of funny excuses
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Old 25-03-2005   #5
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

I have to say I haven't done that, but then 99% of the time I have my windows up, don't want to share my strange music taste with the world
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Old 25-03-2005   #6
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

I don't give a damn whether I have David Grey or something cooler on, if i want my windows open I will have

Yesterday I was in heavy traffic and it hit 19 degrees, first time I have used my Air Con lol. Not a point in the world but was cool (literally).
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Old 25-03-2005   #7
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

arnt these off ********* or their sister site or something? lol
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Old 25-03-2005   #8
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

Quote Originally Posted by GhostWKD
arnt these off ********* or their sister site or something? lol
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Old 25-03-2005   #9
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

barrygirls.co.uk Available
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Old 25-03-2005   #10
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

Every year the company I work for sends out a e-mail to employees with funny claim forms. Here are the latest. I know some of them are claims we have received but not all of them. They do get some from the web.

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

"My car got hit by a submarine." (The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slip where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim.
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Old 25-03-2005   #11
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

lmao! nice one. Most are better than the exam answers I always loved hearing.
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Old 25-03-2005   #12
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

My personal favourite:

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."
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Old 25-03-2005   #13
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Re: Insurance Claim Quotes

Wahey, some different ones that ive never heard b4. well done.
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