Tasteless jokes!

[JonnyBoy]

Apparently, the Queen was so pleased to hear about Charles and Camilla's engagement that she bought the couple a special present: a black Mercedes and a weekend in Paris.

Camilla was complaining to the Queen about her sex life:
"I don't know what to do, every time I suck Charles's c*** and swallow, I get terrible heartburn."
The Queen replied: "Have you tried Andrew's?"

 

[littleyellowcar]

lmao

 

[smurfhead]

very good.

what is the difference between brussel sprouts and pubic hair?
none. You just push them to the side and carry on eating!

im sure that adheres to the thread title.

 

[Dan]

That joke would have been a bit better coming from a woman.

 

[JonnyBoy]

what is the difference between brussel sprouts and pubic hair?
none. You just push them to the side and carry on eating!

PMSL

 

[smurfhead]

a bloke told me it

That joke would have been a bit better coming from a woman.

 

[GhostWKD]

while we're on the subject of tasteless/bad jokes... what did michael jackson say to gary glitter? "you got two fives for a ten?"

 

[smurfhead]

Cliff Richard, Roy Chubby Brown and Gary Glitter are on a plane and the captain announces that they are to crash and there are not many parachutes if they so wish to use one. Cliff screams "WE'VE GOT TO SAVE THE KIDS!!!". Roy in a panic screams back, "**** THE KIDS!!!". Gary looks at his watch and out the window and says "Have we got time?"

 

[GhostWKD]

whats the difference between michael jackson and a plastic bag? ones made of plastic and dangerous to children, the others a bag

whats the difference between michael jackson and acne? acne waits till they're teens

sorry i'll stop with the MJ jokes now

 

[smurfhead]

eeeh-hee!!

 

[AppleSei]

What goes ring....ring...ow!

Stevie wonder answering the iron!

 

[AppleSei]

Whats the definition of Housework?
Lifting your feet up while shes doing the hoovering

How do women tell the time?
Theyve got clocks on cookers these days

 

[rizzlino]

two pretzals were walking down the street, one was assualted.....

 

[Dan]

two pretzals were walking down the street, one was assualted.....

Why?









LMAO. im joking.

 

[smurfhead]

How do women tell the time?
Theyve got clocks on cookers these days

Very VERY funny. The missus isn't very impressed tho. lol.


A man goes in to a bar one night and gets absolutely hammered. He starts to feel really i'll so decides to go home. The next day, he goes back in to the bar and orders a Coke. The bartender asks him, "A coke! Are you sure? I thought you would have wanted to carry on drinking!" The man replies, "Oh no, i'm not drinking for quite a while! When I got home home last night, I blew chunks." The bartender said, "Well that is understandable. We all get pretty sick from drink once in a while." The man loks at him and says, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"

 

[samB]

whats the difference between chery blaire and a kitkat?

you only get four fingers in a kitkat

 

[AppleSei]

Is it just me or does cherie blair look like a postbox!!

 

[Liam]

Another take on the MJ joke previously posted, "what's the difference between MJ and a greyhound? Greyhound waits for the hare to come out!!

Liam

 

[marky23]

sorry but have to say this sick mj joke
mj is going on holiday this year with the beckhams he was once qouted as saying he would love to cum on a cruise
i know its sick lol

 

[chaos]

I know a few blonde jokes, my fave (though probably a bit old) -

If a blonde and a brunette fell off the top of a building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?

Answer - the brunette. Why? The blonde would stop and ask for directions!

Another (non blonde joke, along the lines of AppleSei's jokes)

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of these evolutionary things that enables them to stand closer to the sink.