I thought these were supposed to be sick jokes.
OK, this is sick.
A guy in the Navy gets his first shore leave for a couple of years and has been feeling understandably sexually frustrated, so he goes to look for a brothel. The only problem is he is rather lacking in cash, but after hearing stories about Bangkok and other places he thinks, some backward place like this is probably going to be pretty cheap. So he walks into a brothel with £5 and asks what he can get. The pimp laughs and says, we have top quality, fine girls here, they cost £100 per hour and an hour is the minimum appointment. The Navy guys explains his situation and how he's been at sea for so long and the pimp sympathises. The pimp says, well you probably won't be interested but I hear there is a woman called Betty next door who offers services to sailors for as little as £5. The Navy guy thinks, hey two years, I'm not going to be fussy and sets off. He knocks on the door and Betty says, who's there, he replies, I'm a sailor, I was told you offer certain services. She invites him in. He opens the door to see an 80 year old bald woman sprawled on a bed wearing peep hole bra and pants, he coughs and looks away and thinks, I'm not sure if I can do this, but he thinks, it's OK, I'll close my eyes, it won't matter, I just need to be imaginative. Anyway they get passed the finances and pleasantries and get down to it. After about a minute of trying he says, this is no good it's all hard and dry, I can't get my dick in there. Betty puts her hand down to her crouch for a moment and says try now. He tries again, it's warm and wet and he really gets into it, he keeps his eyes closed and lets his imagination run wild. At the end of it, he was amazed how good it actually felt, he tells Betty how good it was and asks how she made herself so warm, wet and inviting. Betty replies, I just pick the scabs and let the puss run.
OK, this is sick.
A guy in the Navy gets his first shore leave for a couple of years and has been feeling understandably sexually frustrated, so he goes to look for a brothel. The only problem is he is rather lacking in cash, but after hearing stories about Bangkok and other places he thinks, some backward place like this is probably going to be pretty cheap. So he walks into a brothel with £5 and asks what he can get. The pimp laughs and says, we have top quality, fine girls here, they cost £100 per hour and an hour is the minimum appointment. The Navy guys explains his situation and how he's been at sea for so long and the pimp sympathises. The pimp says, well you probably won't be interested but I hear there is a woman called Betty next door who offers services to sailors for as little as £5. The Navy guy thinks, hey two years, I'm not going to be fussy and sets off. He knocks on the door and Betty says, who's there, he replies, I'm a sailor, I was told you offer certain services. She invites him in. He opens the door to see an 80 year old bald woman sprawled on a bed wearing peep hole bra and pants, he coughs and looks away and thinks, I'm not sure if I can do this, but he thinks, it's OK, I'll close my eyes, it won't matter, I just need to be imaginative. Anyway they get passed the finances and pleasantries and get down to it. After about a minute of trying he says, this is no good it's all hard and dry, I can't get my dick in there. Betty puts her hand down to her crouch for a moment and says try now. He tries again, it's warm and wet and he really gets into it, he keeps his eyes closed and lets his imagination run wild. At the end of it, he was amazed how good it actually felt, he tells Betty how good it was and asks how she made herself so warm, wet and inviting. Betty replies, I just pick the scabs and let the puss run.
