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Old 24-01-2005   #1
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Jokes...

Not had a joke thread for at least a day, I just got this in an email (apologies for formatitng, must have been forwarded 100 times)

>
>>>>>The Horse Race
>>>>>
>>>>>The Line up:
>>>>>
>>>>>In lane 1. Passionate Lady
>>>>>In lane 2. Bare Belly
>>>>>In lane 3. Silk Panties
>>>>>In lane 4. Conscience
>>>>>In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
>>>>>In lane 6. Clean Sheets
>>>>>In lane 7. Thighs
>>>>>In lane 8. Big Dick
>>>>>In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
>>>>>In lane 10. Merry Cherry
>>>>>
>>>>>AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
>>>>>
>>>>>Conscience is left behind at the gate.
>>>>>Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
>>>>>Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
>>>>>Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
>>>>>Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.
>>>>>
>>>>>AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
>>>>>
>>>>>It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
>>>>>Big Dick is pushing in.
>>>>>Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady
>>>>>and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific
>>>>>pressure from Big Dick.
>>>>>
>>>>>AT THE STRETCH:
>>>>>
>>>>>Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
>>>>>Bare Belly is making a final push.
>>>>>Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
>>>>>
>>>>>AT THE FINISH:
>>>>>
>>>>>Its Big Dick giving everything he's got and
>>>>>Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.
>>>>>It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
>>>>>through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
>>>>>Bare Belly slows,
>>>>>Thighs weakens,
>>>>>Heavy Bosom pulls up,
>>>>>and Clean Sheets never had a chance.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
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Old 24-01-2005   #2
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Re: Jokes...

PMSL thats great Paul!!!
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Old 24-01-2005   #3
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Re: Jokes...

Obviously my innocent mind fails to see why it's funny except for the fact that a horse called Big Richard came first which is funny because you don't normally call horses Richard.

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Old 24-01-2005   #4
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Re: Jokes...

You have corrupted my innocence with your filty inuendos
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Old 24-01-2005   #5
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Re: Jokes...

Quote Originally Posted by joecinq
You have corrupted my innocence with your filty inuendos
yeah coz wen i think of you...it screams innocence!!!

EDIT - that goes for you too Paul!!!
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Old 24-01-2005   #6
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Re: Jokes...

dirty dirty, paul.
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Old 24-01-2005   #7
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Re: Jokes...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night.

Holmes:" Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebodys bloody stole our tent!"
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Old 24-01-2005   #8
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Re: Jokes...

Quote Originally Posted by Alex
dirty dirty, paul.
but good!!!
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Old 24-01-2005   #9
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Re: Jokes...

Quote Originally Posted by JonnyBoy
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night.

Holmes:" Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebodys bloody stole our tent!"
ok Pauls was good but yours was CLASS!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 24-01-2005   #10
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Re: Jokes...

She knows i'm good

I am very innocent! Can't get porn at uni.

lol JB, heard it before but still funny
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Old 24-01-2005   #11
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Re: Jokes...

Quote Originally Posted by JonnyBoy
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night.

Holmes:" Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebodys bloody stole our tent!"
PMSL- bring back the clean jokes!
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Old 24-01-2005   #12
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Re: Jokes...

a young man called peter invited his mother for dinner. during the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome peter's flatmate was.she had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.

over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between peter and
his flatmate than met the eye. reading his mum's thoughts, peter volunteered,
"i know what you must be thinking, but i assure you, simon & i are
just flatmates".

about a week later, simon came to peter saying,"ever since your mother came to dinner, i've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?"
"well, i doubt it, but i'll e-mail her just to be sure," said peter,
so he sat down and wrote:
dear mother, i'm not saying that you "did" take the frying pan from
my house, i'm not saying that you "did not" take the frying pan, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. love peter

several days later, peter received an e-mail from his mother which
read:
dear son, i'm not saying that you "do" sleep with simon, and i'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the frying pan by now.
love
mum
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Old 24-01-2005   #13
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Re: Jokes...

CLASS!!! baby class all the way!!
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Old 24-01-2005   #14
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Re: Jokes...

Quote Originally Posted by TashyG
ok Pauls was good but yours was CLASS!!!!!!!!!!
Quote Originally Posted by TashyG
CLASS!!! baby class all the way!!
Methinks I got a fan club
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Old 24-01-2005   #15
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Re: Jokes...

Ohhh now that ones got a twist in it, i like it even more

bring back the clean jokes with twist in them
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