Oh dear. I'm actually supposed to know about DMA in particular was part of a module last year. I got 80% I think but I'm buggered if I can remember the first thing about it. I know where you are Paul and I've told you I'm at Loughborough so what about you Jonny and Luke?

I'm at the Uni of Sheffield

Dr_Pepper said:

Oh dear. I'm actually supposed to know about DMA in particular was part of a module last year. I got 80% I think but I'm buggered if I can remember the first thing about it. I know where you are Paul and I've told you I'm at Loughborough so what about you Jonny and Luke?

Click to expand...

Greenwich
My only option really, so i could live at home and drive the 20 odd miles there a day rahter than living away. Keep expenses down

This sounds like it's found it's way off sniff petrol at some point:

Fiat UK has moved swiftly this week to punish one of its dealers who was repeatedly found guilty of offering good service. Bella Fiat of Frotting in Wiltshire has been accused of a number of unacceptable practises including completing major services on time, ordering the correct parts for customers' cars, returning interested car buyers' calls and employing salesmen who actually know something about the models they sell. "This just won't do," spluttered Fiat spokesman Ridley Quack. "We pride ourselves on giving the most inept service of any mainstream brand in the UK, fighting off very competitive incompetence from Peugeot, Renault and Rover. When someone lets the side down like this we have to take action."
Sources say the last straw came when an unnamed Bella employee against company policy happily agreed to lend a customer a courtesy car after a standard cock-up in a regional warehouse meant the garage received the wrong parts for his car, resulting in a delay in repairs.
As yet it is unclear what action Fiat will take against the dealer. Apparently they had ordered some appropriate action direct from Italy but when it arrived it turned out to be for a left-hand-drive market. Then the second one was scratched, and then there was a strike in Turin, then it turns out that someone had forgotten to order the clip assembly for the action and then……

Haha, i like that

Two lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic weekend vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold??"

JonnyBoy said:

Mummy Chav and daughter Chav are in the kitchen washing up.
Daughter Chav: "Mummy, why are your hands so soft?"
Mummy Chav: "Because i'm only 12 years old"

Click to expand...

OH MY F**CKIN GOD THAT MADE ME CRY

:worship::worship::worship:

A Hawaiian Woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaiian woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a Canadian tree that was absolutely unpeckable. The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
After flying to Canada, the Hawaiian woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpeckering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

A passerby was watching two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.
"Tell me," said the passerby, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Well," said the digger," Usually there are three of us. I dig, Paddy plants the tree and Mick fills in the hole. Today Paddy is off ill, but that doesn't mean Mick and I have to take the day off, does it?"

I'm single-handedly keeping this thread alive

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks short of a load, or his elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

Crap joke but what the hell its a chav 1. :

What do u call a chav trapped in a box?

Innit



Sorry couldnt resist. :bang:

Whatcha call a chav in a locked box?
Safe, innit!

Watcha call a chav in a filing cabinet?
sorted...


ack. There are loads. Will stop now.

A beautiful blonde walks into a pub in the centre of Liverpool,
at the bar perched on the stool is a big burly shaven-headed scouser sat supping on a pint of stella,
as she feels quite horny after having a few drinks she decides to proposition the tough looking scouser,
"would you like a bl0w job?" she asks,
and with that the scouser jumps off his stool and smashes the young lady in the face knocking her clean out!
the bar man then turns to the scouser after all the commotion and asks,
"what the hell did she say that made you react like that mate?"
the scouser replied, "im not sure, but she said something about a job..."
*groan* lol

Love the Rod Stewart one.........
Subject: Quotes on Sex
>
>
>
>
> "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome
> things
>
> that money can buy". Tom Clancy
>
>
>
> "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? ... Me neither."
>
> Steve Martin
>
>
>
> "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good

partner,
> you'd
>
> better have a good hand." Woody Allen
>
>
>
> "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
> night."
>
> Rodney Dangerfield
>
>
>
> "There are a number of mechanical devices which increases sexual
> arousal,
>
> particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz

500SL."
>
> Lynn Lavner
>
>
>
> "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George

Burns
>
>
>
>
> "Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole
> relationships."
>
> Sharon Stone
>
>
>
> "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack
>
> Nicholson
>
>
>
> "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,

but
> he
>
> never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush
>
>
>
> "Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
> genitals
>
> through his wallet." Robin Williams
>
>
>
> "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as

the
> only
>
> time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne
>
>
>
> "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy
>
> Crystal
>
>
>
> "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men

are
>
>
> having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause

severe
>
>
> swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
>
>
>
> "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
> like
>
> and just give her a house." Rod Stewart
>
>
>
> "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, but

only
> enough
>
> blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
>
>





--

Why did the chicken cross the road?

MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF (COMICAL ALI):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken in Iraq.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

TONY BLAIR:
I agree with George.

HANS BLIX:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have full access to the other side of the road.

MARTIN LUTHER KING:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

TRISHA:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it survived a serious case of moulting and went onto accomplish its dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.

SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
EChicken 2003 will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your cheque book. Internet Explorer 7 is an integral part of eChicken.

BILL CLINTON:
What is your definition of chicken?
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

GRANDAD:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.


SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion on the part of the chicken and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

CAPTAIN KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home'."
"Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

Italian humour..........
Carlos calls his boss in the morning:

Ey, boss i not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, my legs hurt I not come work.

The boss says:

You know Carlos I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me a blowjob. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that.

2 hours later Carlos calls:

Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at work soon. And by the way, you got a nice house.

A cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning.

"A delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.

If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"!

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."