Are you Gay? and other random junk.....
Sorry v.bored at work!
Sorry v.bored at work!
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Are you Gay?
- Thread starter jamie86
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Are you Gay?
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Lol - and did I just mention pink shirts 
bloody aussies....
OP
OP
The chairman of a local children's charity is looking through the records of past donations when he realises he has never received a donation from the richest and most successful lawyer in town.
The next day, he decides to call on the lawyer in an attempt to persuade him to mend his ways.
"Our research shows that last year you made a profit of over £600,000 and yet you haven't given a penny to help the local children! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness?" replies the man. "Does it show that she has medical bills several times her annual income? Do you also know about my brother, the disabled veteran, who is blind and in a wheelchair? Did you read about my sister, whose husband died in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with three children?"
Sheepishly, the charity solicitor admitted that he had no knowledge of any of this.
"Well, since I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
The next day, he decides to call on the lawyer in an attempt to persuade him to mend his ways.
"Our research shows that last year you made a profit of over £600,000 and yet you haven't given a penny to help the local children! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness?" replies the man. "Does it show that she has medical bills several times her annual income? Do you also know about my brother, the disabled veteran, who is blind and in a wheelchair? Did you read about my sister, whose husband died in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with three children?"
Sheepishly, the charity solicitor admitted that he had no knowledge of any of this.
"Well, since I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
OP
OP
Oh yeah i'll post this i think-
SORRY IF I OFFEND ANYONE WITH ANY REFERENCES MADE TO STEREOTYPES IN ANY JOKES!
SORRY IF I OFFEND ANYONE WITH ANY REFERENCES MADE TO STEREOTYPES IN ANY JOKES!
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No problems, offence taken - lol
- lol
OP
OP
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OP
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Hey, I recognise my friend........
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Scandolous accusation and if I wasn't busy working I would reply to that comment!
OP
OP
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over
immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his
full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both
hands..
"Actually, no," the man replied."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says,
running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything
Ican do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues,
running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly
popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck
them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to ask.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap,
or
paper towels in the ladies room."
She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over
immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his
full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both
hands..
"Actually, no," the man replied."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says,
running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything
Ican do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues,
running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly
popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck
them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to ask.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap,
or
paper towels in the ladies room."
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hahahaha! that's excellent! lmaojamie86 said:
OP
OP
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed.
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. While he was kissing on your neck I thought of a plan if he decides to have his way with you. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you."
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too."
He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. While he was kissing on your neck I thought of a plan if he decides to have his way with you. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you."
After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too."
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that one was put on last week..i'm sure
yep i seen before too lol
and :yuk: at the no soap etc
and lmao @ gay lol
and :yuk: at the no soap etc
and lmao @ gay lol
