What's made you smile today?
- Thread starter angel
- Start date
Currently reading:
What's made you smile today?
after work went for a couple of pints at the local holiday inn (Its the closest bar to where i work) after my collegue paying 7 quid for 2 pints. The new manager comes across and asks us how we like the service and the prices, We tell him that the prices are pretty high and he informs us that they are dropping their prices and that all sainsburys staff get a 20-25% discount.
After this conversation he spoke to the bar staff and made sure we had the best service, We were offered 33% discount and a free drink on the second round.
oooh look who had to get the second round
£2.34.
not bad
After this conversation he spoke to the bar staff and made sure we had the best service, We were offered 33% discount and a free drink on the second round.
oooh look who had to get the second round
£2.34.
not bad
Trying to squirt water on my windscreen. Nothing was hapening Then I realised, I was flashing my lights dhuuuuuuuuu
Then I realised, I was flashing my lights dhuuuuuuuuu 
TurboSei
Member
I'm going to finish my christmas shopping today I've decided.
I've decided.
Magical Trevor
Established member
In total contrast, I'm about to start my Christmas shopping, and I'm smiling as I've just found my first one online
im on the radio again today, same as last week, 2-3 on demonfm.co.uk
i havent actually thought up my weekly feature this time... so uh... i might be doing some sort of winging it situation LOL
i havent actually thought up my weekly feature this time... so uh... i might be doing some sort of winging it situation LOL
I made a silly face with the mushrooms and tomatoes at breakfast, that me smile
funny email
One for the Girls
Hair Removal
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless
removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home,
fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing
kit out of the medicine cabinet.'
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair
right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA
THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks
in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,'yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it
tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside
of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the
wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to
the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me
a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha
are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better
than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the
brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably
woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!
It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the
remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS
STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb
by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
One for the Girls
Hair Removal
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless
removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home,
fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing
kit out of the medicine cabinet.'
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair
right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA
THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks
in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,'yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it
tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside
of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the
wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to
the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me
a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha
are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better
than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the
brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably
woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!
It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the
remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS
STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb
by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
tesco value insurance being more expensive than standard
Selling my RBS shares 13% up on the day, My world just got a hell of a lot brighter, my car repairs have been paid for thanks to the Royal Bank of Scotland,
woo i might listen.
we should give you a list of words that you need to slip into conversation lol. we do it at work with auctions and make the auctioneer say things whilst he is on the stage infront of everyone.
we got lubricant and cucumber in the last auction.
and got him to swear at the camera
Kay's Radio show:
PMSL
ROFL being taken away over christmas... and the thought that my interview went well
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2008
- Messages
- 7,105
- Points
- 819
you're a few years behind mate lol
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2008
- Messages
- 7,105
- Points
- 819
you're a few years behind mate lol
i know i was shown it today we were very bored so spamming one another with random links
j1ppers has way too much time on his hands!!
same time next week kiddies!!
same time next week kiddies!!
haha i was reading that thread earlier!!
see dave ressurected it
gutted jippers your post got deleted :nerner:
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