A woman is walking her dog, when, suddenly, the animal seems obviously distressed. It keeps stopping, licks all it's paws, and is walking awkwardly.

A passerby notices her predicament, and determines that the pads on the poor creature's feet seem to be raw and inflamed...... He has recently read an article about just such a thing, and, as he recalls, the remedy was a repeated application of cold cream salve.

So the woman goes to the pharmacy to get some cold cream salve. As the pharmacist is placing it in the bag, he says......."Now, just apply this three times daily to your elbows, and wear loose clothing for a week or so."

The woman says....."Well, actually, it's for my schnauzer."

The pharmacist replies...."Well, in that case, apply it twice a day, and don't ride any bicycles for two weeks!"