A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister.


"What are you doing?" he asks.


"Warming up your dinner."

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.


They went back and forth until they stopped for lunch. At the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"


The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Q: How many people can you fit in one Honda?

A: Well, the Bible said that all 12 disciples were in one Accord.