Hmm, I had to remove the body ecu today to get part numbers, I noticed if you pull the very bottom plug I get all the symptoms I've been having, anyhoo, after removing from car, splitting into its 2 parts, refitting, I've been driving the car since around 1400 (now 1900) and no issues. Normally starts it's nonsense after around 20mins.
I hope it was an oxidised connection overheating maybe?
I'll report back in a couple of days...