I too feel disappointed that you feel that you've had a hostile reception, however, please let me assure you that no member here on the forum had that intention, but as g8rpi has said, your posts came across as negative from the start.
This forum is a great source of help to many and there are some extremely knowledgeable members on here who actually want to help you, but you have to give us something to work with. If you indicate which part of the country you are in, someone in your area might be able to help you out.
Give us a little more information about your car. How long have you owned it? How many miles has it done? What sort of service history does it have?
The problem with armchair diagnostics is, we don't have access to your car therefore we can only give pointers on what you tell us. You need to connect the car up to fully functioning diagnostics. If that means you have to pay for it, then that is the only way it's going to work, and it's coming across as obvious that you don't want to pay for someone to diagnose the issue. Therefore, whilst I admire your obvious reluctance to visit a dealership and get the problem diagnosed in probably less than half an hour, you could find yourself chasing yourself down a rabbit hole for a considerable period of time.
We are only trying to help.
